Dad Jokes - all welcome!

[Joy_Division_Oven_Gloves]

I used to be indecisive but now I’m not so sure

 

[Joy_Division_Oven_Gloves]

What do you call a russian Lemonade thief..... Nokakraytapopov

What do you call a Russian lemonade delivery driver? Dropusabottleofpopoff

 

[SmallTown]

Yesterday I met a drag queen who lived just west of Manchester.

He had a wigan address.

 

[Carlos Fandango]

Instead of a swear jar, a guy I work with has a negativity jar.
Every time he has a pessimistic thought, he puts a penny in.
It’s currently half empty.

 

[London_Boro]

What cheese would you use to prevent a small horse from spreading Covid19?

Mascarpone

 

[Lefty]

I'm pleased to announce that recently my catchy name for eco fiction has been green lit.

 

[El Guapo]

What do you call a donkey with only 3 legs?

a Wonky

 

[Lefty]

“Hey mister, what you doing?”

“Creating a fine spray of water in the form of very small drops floating in the air"

 

[Carlos Fandango]

I'm addicted to collecting vintage Beatles albums.
I need Help!

 

[coluka]

I'm addicted to collecting vintage Beatles albums.
I need Help!

Sorry, but the only way I can see to end this addiction of yours involves the use of my revolver

 

[Lefty]

Sorry, but the only way I can see to end this addiction of yours involves the use of my revolver

I think you should let it be.

 

[coluka]

I think you should let it be.

Ok I will, It’s been a hard days night

 

[NeilInFrance]

Is that the Best Of you can do? Which overly polite person wants to go next?

 

[Lefty]

If you're here for the yodelling lesson please form an orderly orderly orderly queue queue queue.

 

[Carlos Fandango]

I recently switched all the labels on my wife’s spice rack.
She hasn’t realised yet, but the thyme is cumin.

 

[NeilInFrance]

Is that the Best Of you can do? Which overly polite person wants to go next?

Please, please, me!

 

[Carlos Fandango]

Enough is enough lads, time to Let It Be.

 

[FatCat]

I’m so depressed today, I’m not sure what’s wrong with me I just woke up feeling so miserable, I’m so down.

however yesterday was a sadder day!

 

[Carlos Fandango]

A thief has removed all motorway signs in Yorkshire.
Police are currently looking for Leeds.

 

[festa5]

A thief has removed all motorway signs in Yorkshire.
Police are currently looking for Leeds.

A large hole has also appeared in the motorway. Police are looking into it.