Bloke walks into a bar with a lion, goes up to the bartender and says "excuse me mate, do you serve Tories in this bar?" Bar tender says "yes, of course we do". Bloke says "great, i'll have a pint of lager and a Tory for the lion"
Gmp oldham are hunting a woman know as the “knitting Needle Nutter”who has stabbed six people in the bum in the last 24 hours. Chief superintendent Tommy Ballcock in oldham believes the attacker could be following some kind of pattern.