Dad Jokes - all welcome!


Well-known member
The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked. Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!


Well-known member
How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas? He felt his presents!

Did you hear about the chameleon who couldn't change color? He had a reptile dysfunction.


Well-known member
I went into town with my son last weekend and we wandered into Waterstones. He asked “Will you buy me a book mark” I couldn’t help but cry. He is 10 years old and still doesn’t know my name is Geoff

I confided in a friend about being diagnosed with claustrophobia and aquaphobia. He told me to cheer up for goodness sake, it could be worse, at least you’re not trapped underground in a hole full of water. I know he meant well


Staff member
A cowboy ties his horse up outside the saloon, lifts its tail and kisses its ****.
"What did you do that for"? asked the bar tender.
"I've got chapped lips" said the cowboy.
"Does that cure them"?
"Nope. But it stops me lickin 'em".


Well-known member
A more adult one.

What do you call a blind Bambi? No idea.
What do you call a blind Bambi with no legs? Still no idea.
What do you call a blind Bambi with no legs having sex? Still no effing idea.