Dad Jokes - all welcome!

The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked. Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!
 
How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas? He felt his presents!

Did you hear about the chameleon who couldn't change color? He had a reptile dysfunction.
 
I went into town with my son last weekend and we wandered into Waterstones. He asked “Will you buy me a book mark” I couldn’t help but cry. He is 10 years old and still doesn’t know my name is Geoff

I confided in a friend about being diagnosed with claustrophobia and aquaphobia. He told me to cheer up for goodness sake, it could be worse, at least you’re not trapped underground in a hole full of water. I know he meant well
 
A cowboy ties his horse up outside the saloon, lifts its tail and kisses its ****.
"What did you do that for"? asked the bar tender.
"I've got chapped lips" said the cowboy.
"Does that cure them"?
"Nope. But it stops me lickin 'em".
 
A more adult one.

What do you call a blind Bambi? No idea.
What do you call a blind Bambi with no legs? Still no idea.
What do you call a blind Bambi with no legs having sex? Still no effing idea.
 
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