Dad Jokes - all welcome!

A man calls his bank and says to the representative “You folks just sent me the check I was expecting, but it's made out to the wrong person. My name is C.E. Dawes and the name on the check is Q.U. Wryic”

The rep says “I'm very sorry, sir, I have no idea how that happened, but I will be glad to request a reissued check. Could you give me the correct spelling of your name?”

“Sure, it's C.E. Dawes — that's C as in cue, E as in ewe, D as in double-u, A as in are, W as in why, E as in eye, and S as in sea.”
 
Recently a Husband Super Store opened where women go to choose a husband from a variety of men.

It was laid out over five floors, with the men incrementally increasing in positive attributes from floor to floor as one ascended.

The only rule was once you opened the door to any floor, you HAD to choose a man from that floor; if you went up a floor, you couldn't go back down except to leave the place, never to return.

A couple of women went to the shopping center to find some husbands.

1st floor
The door sign read: These men have jobs and love kids.
One of the women said, "Well, that's better than not having a job or not loving kids, but I wonder what's further up?"

2nd floor
The sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking."
"Hmmm," said the other woman.
“I wonder what's further up?"

3rd floor
This sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, are extremely good looking, love kids and help with the housework."

"Wow," said one. Very tempting. But there’s another floor.”

So up they went.

4th Floor
The door sign said, “These men have high-paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework & have a strong romantic streak."

"Oh!” gasped one of the women. “Just think what must be waiting
on the top floor.” And up they went

5th floor
The sign on the door said, "This floor is empty and exists only to prove that women are F***ing impossible to please.”
 
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