Dad Jokes - all welcome!

[Liamo]

I have this ability to guess what's inside any beautifully wrapped package. It's a gift.

 

[Brian Marwood]

What do you call a police woman a week after a Brazilian?

Constable.

 

[red_harrington]

If anyone can put a cabinet together, it's Ikea Starmer

 

[Cornholio]

The man who invented throat lozenges died last week.

There was no coffin at the funeral.

 

[Juninho twinkle toes.]

What do you call a Spanish bloke who’s just been discharged from hospital? Manuel.

 

[Doom_On_Horseback]

I still enjoy sex at 68. Well I live at number 66 so it's not far at all.

 

[VladKinder]

 

[ThePrisoner]

https://twitter.com/x/status/1810371638556492191

 

[Liamo]

www.conjunctivitis.com

It's a site for sore eyes

 

[festa5]

 

[Laughing]

View attachment 78963

A thinking dad's joke, I like.

 

[red_harrington]

I don't think our roof is very good, but it's certainly up there

 

[Lefty]

I remember being taught sex education at school. The teacher walked into the class with a banana in his hand and said "children, today I will teach you how to roll on a condom correctly, but first I need to eat this banana because I can't get an erection on an empty stomach".

 

[Cornholio]

This morning Siri said 'Don't call me Shirley.'

Turns out I had accidentally left my phone in Airplane mode.

 

[Carlos Fandango]

I don't mean to sound big headed.

But does anyone have an XXL hat I can borrow.

 

[Ingleby_Flash]

The author of autocorrect just died
The funeral will be held tomato.

 

[Ingleby_Flash]

Sex is like a belt.
If it isn’t tight enough, try a different hole

 

[SalfordBoro]

A friend I knew played for a team called the Musketeers FC.

They started the season with 3 wins and a draw all 4-1 and one 4-all

 

[GingerTravel]

Inspired by England's success - Greece's management team have cooked up an idea to beat us in the Nations League later this year.

They've trained a cow to play intricate stuff on the right wing - he's called Moo Saka.

 

[SalfordBoro]

As a kid at school I excelled in Spelling Bees.

It was the other words I struggled with