My already fragile mental health

Iā€™m sorry people think my problems are first world problems.

Iā€™m sorry Iā€™m troubled and I canā€™t deal with stupid things going wrong or when I need help to work things out. That I have no one to share my life with or support network.

Iā€™m sorry I go to bed every night not wanting to wake up in the morning. Iā€™m sorry I think about suicide several times a day.

I donā€™t honestly care if you laugh at me. Iā€™ve never had any self esteem, Iā€™ve been picked on and bullied for being gay since I was at school and I was even beaten up on linthorpe road twenty years ago.

I have family. They all go back work on Boxing Day I donā€™t, I get 10 days off. Iā€™ve never been able to enjoy Christmas because of the crushing loneliness. People I work with think Iā€™m a freak for not wanting the time off.

Iā€™m outta here.
I honestly think he was suggesting that first world problems get to all of us from time to time, Iā€™m sure he appreciates that they affect you more due to your current state of mindā€¦

And no one on here is laughing at youā€¦ I promiseā€¦

please keep talking on here and try to focus on other things, if you canā€™t tho, just vent off as you see fitā€¦ some one is always listening on here but we canā€™t promise miracle cures, just supportā€¦
 
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Right ok. Half time in the barcodes game.

Iā€™ve kept myself busy today. Iā€™ve taken down the Xmas decs and will tidy the house up tomorrow and spruce it up. I even had a win on the horses.

From having CBT i know the tin opener was the catalyst. Iā€™ve since worked out how to use it but it donā€™t care for it much. I can cope with being given s***y Xmas presents so donā€™t worry.

I take the point about exercise. I started walking then running during the 2020 lockdown. And it helped. I ended up running 10kā€™s regularly. But then in May 21 I got poorly and I still havenā€™t fully recovered. I tried to run last week, I managed a mile but it hurt my head (Iā€™ve had a vestibular disorder). Itā€™s miserable and I feel permanently run down. And the NHS have been no use at all.

I was also gloomy as I couldnā€™t really watch the match on the telly.

as for musturbation. I havenā€™t got a regular partner (thatā€™s another story) so I already do a fair bit of that. Or have I misread that bit šŸ˜³
 
Donā€™t switch your phone AET, I donā€™t think itā€™s going to help you to be out of contact,

If you have no-one else you can call then call 116 123, Christmas is a difficult time of year for a lot of people, or you can post on here, message me and the many on here who are more than willing to be ears, if nothing else.
You do know if you call the Samaritans now instead of someone answering straight away you now join a call centre queue and get a recorded ā€œyour call is important to usā€¦.ā€ message

Covid has a lot to answer for.
 
Good to see you are posting Aet - I (and many others on here) are more than happy to read your posts and lend you an ear mate.
And as Joey said, well done on the horses - I'm clueless when it comes to them, so I stay well away :)
 
Great to see you still here, still talking aet. No easy advice from me, it would probably read as trite, but I do hope 2022 sees an upturn in your physical and mental health.
 
aet,, Believe me it does get better,, one day and i hope your day is soon,,
you will wake up and think "What the ****" i,m getting over this today,,
Please believe me it happens as simple has that,,
 
aet,, Believe me it does get better,, one day and i hope your day is soon,,
you will wake up and think "What the ****" i,m getting over this today,,
Please believe me it happens as simple has that,,

agreed! but just avoid can openers for the rest of your life. they are fuckking annoying at the best of times.
 
how are you doing aet? I got through Christmas and now looking to find a new home. I was in the crisis teams care a year and a bit ago and I no longer have those dark thoughts but still it is a bloody hard path to be on...
Still here sadgit glad things are looking up for you. Itā€™s a long old journey.

Not posted anything for a a few days but still been reading. Seem a lot of angry folk about at the moment and a lot of the posts on here are unnecessarily tetchy. Usual nonsense about covid and slagging the Gov off. Glad Iā€™ve blocked a lot of them so I donā€™t necessarily have to read it.

I always struggle badly between Xmas and new year as circumstances dictate Iā€™m off work and alone alot of the time. Iā€™m back at work now albeit part time because of my illness - aim to be back full time by the end of the month.
 
Seem a lot of angry folk about at the moment
Indeed there are and understandably so.

I'm pleased to read that you seem to be finding your path out of your situation. If I could venture one small observation it would be don't set yourself up to fail. Your wish to be back full time by the end of the month is commendable but beware of beating yourself up to achieve it. You'll get there.
 
Still here sadgit glad things are looking up for you. Itā€™s a long old journey.

Not posted anything for a a few days but still been reading. Seem a lot of angry folk about at the moment and a lot of the posts on here are unnecessarily tetchy. Usual nonsense about covid and slagging the Gov off. Glad Iā€™ve blocked a lot of them so I donā€™t necessarily have to read it.

I always struggle badly between Xmas and new year as circumstances dictate Iā€™m off work and alone alot of the time. Iā€™m back at work now albeit part time because of my illness - aim to be back full time by the end of the month.
Glad to see you posting aet. Just getting your health issues sorted would be a great start. Hopefully come spring you will get to see a GP and get your physical well being sorted.

I really do believe that we are at the beginning of the end with covid.

All the best for 2022.
 
Still here sadgit glad things are looking up for you. Itā€™s a long old journey.

Not posted anything for a a few days but still been reading. Seem a lot of angry folk about at the moment and a lot of the posts on here are unnecessarily tetchy. Usual nonsense about covid and slagging the Gov off. Glad Iā€™ve blocked a lot of them so I donā€™t necessarily have to read it.

I always struggle badly between Xmas and new year as circumstances dictate Iā€™m off work and alone alot of the time. Iā€™m back at work now albeit part time because of my illness - aim to be back full time by the end of the month.
Good to hear from you aet and happy to read you are ignoring the mardy bums on here.
 
Indeed there are and understandably so.

I'm pleased to read that you seem to be finding your path out of your situation. If I could venture one small observation it would be don't set yourself up to fail. Your wish to be back full time by the end of the month is commendable but beware of beating yourself up to achieve it. You'll get there.
Iā€™m ok mate.
Or at least I was until I read some of the low level homophobia being posted on here tonight on the thread about the cake.
Iā€™ve been back part time since November and am doing ok. Iā€™ve stayed on for longer hours on a few occasions. All depends on how much work I have to do. Iā€™ll be ok. Thanks for replying.
Glad to see you posting aet. Just getting your health issues sorted would be a great start. Hopefully come spring you will get to see a GP and get your physical well being sorted.

I really do believe that we are at the beginning of the end with covid.

All the best for 2022.
Sorry i was narky on the other thread. Some right homophobic nonsense being posted in the name of religion.
Good to hear from you aet and happy to read you are ignoring the mardy bums on here.
Itā€™s a struggle to avoid the mardy bums isnā€™t it šŸ˜‚
 
Iā€™m ok mate.
Or at least I was until I read some of the low level homophobia being posted on here tonight on the thread about the cake.
Iā€™ve been back part time since November and am doing ok. Iā€™ve stayed on for longer hours on a few occasions. All depends on how much work I have to do. Iā€™ll be ok. Thanks for replying.

Sorry i was narky on the other thread. Some right homophobic nonsense being posted in the name of religion.

Itā€™s a struggle to avoid the mardy bums isnā€™t it šŸ˜‚
I don't mind narky aet. Take care.
 
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