The orange head joke deserves posting.
A man walks into a bar and he looks around and sees only himself, the barman, and one man sitting at the far end of the bar. The other man strikes him as strange; he's got a huge, almost bulbous orange head. He's also looking very morose indeed, staring vacantly into his scotch depressingly.
The man approaches the barman and says "Hey, what's up with the guy with the big orange head?", to which the barman replies "Buy him a drink and he'll tell you his story". So he does, and he sits beside the man with the big orange head and he starts telling his story.
"One day", he says, "I was walking along the beach and I found this ornate lamp. Rubbing it with my sleeve, out emerged a genie. The genie boomed "You have freed me from my infernal restraints, I shall grand you three wishes".
"So first off, I said "I'd like to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world", and sure enough the waves by the shore parted, and out walked this stunning blonde with a diamond the size of a football on her finger. Secondly, I requested "I want to never have any lack of money in my life", and pulling out my wallet, saw that it was bursting with money. Any attempt at removing a twenty resulted in it being magically replaced seconds later."
At this point, the man is confused: "I didn't understand, this seems like a good situation to be in: beautiful wife, rich as kings, why are you so down in the dumps?"
"Ah",he replied, "This is where things took a turn for the worst. "For my next wish", I said, "Can I have a big orange head?""