Dad Jokes - all welcome!

Elton John has had his Thesaurus stolen. After reporting the theft to Police, he commented, "It's sad, so sad. It's a sad, sad situation..."
A married couple were walking down Linthorpe Road. The wife says to the husband “Will you slow down, I’ve got a stone in me shoe”. The husband replies “A stone? You must have 15 stone in the other one then”.
Chap wakes up in hospital after a horrendous car crash. After a couple of minutes he stars screaming “ nurse, nurse , I can’t feel my legs! “ To which the nurse replied “ of course you can’t, we’ve had to amputate your arms!!”
Sad news at the Nestle factory today when a member of staff was seriously injured when a pallet of chocolate fell more than 50 feet and crushed him underneath... He tried in vain to attract attention but every time he shouted "The milky bars are on me" everyone cheered.