Back in my day, I could walk into a shop with £10 and walk out with 6 bottles of wine, 2 dinners, a case of beer, 5 cartons of orange juice, 2 loaves of bread and a gallon of milk. Can't do that today. Too many cameras.
There was a fire in a 10 story apartment building. On a 10th floor balcony was a young woman clutching a baby. The fire brigade was on the scene but they did not have a ladder which could reach her. A crowd had gathered outside. They urged her to jump or at least throw down the baby as the situation was becoming critical. But she was afraid. Finally a man stepped forward and called out to her, "I was the Irish international goalkeeper for many years. I never dropped the ball in my entire carreer. Throw the baby down. I guarantee I will catch the wee one."
As the flames were licking at her night dress in desperation she threw the baby down. Halfway down a sudden gust of wind blew the baby a couple of feet to the left. The Irish International quickly adjusted his feet, threw himself to the side and grasped the baby securely in his hands.. People clapped and .cheered. The Irishman took 2 steps towards the admiring crowd and punted the baby 50 yards down the street.