Dad Jokes - all welcome!

FatCat

Well-known member
Only in Middlesbrough I swear!! 🤬 I have just been to the Esso garage for petrol and I've seen 2 police were watching a woman who was smoking while filling her car up. I thought, is she stupid, crazy, or both, especially with the police standing RIGHT there?! 😓. I minded my own business put 30 quid in and went inside to pay. As I was paying I heard the daft bitch screaming!! I’m talking violent death screams! I looked outside and I saw that this woman's arm was on fire!!!! She was swinging her arm, running around. I ran outside, the police had the woman on the ground and they were putting the fire out!! Then they put handcuffs on her and put her in the police car. I was a bit shocked, couldn't believe they arrested her, surely she ought to be in an ambulance, not a police car? Me being nosey as I am, I asked the policeman what they were arresting her for.. He looked at me, dead serious, and said, "WAVING A FIRE ARM”!!
 

FatCat

Well-known member
My mate just rang me in tears. His wife has left him him and taken his Bob Marley collection and the satellite dish.

poor bastard

NO WOMAN NO SKY
 

Lefty

Well-known member
This latest BDSM craze incorporating celiac disease seems like gluten for punishment if you ask me.
 

Lefty

Well-known member

“G’day mate, you’re through to the medical help line. What’s the problem Cobber?”


“it’s me Sheila. She’s been stung on the minge by a wasp. Now her pussy has completely closed up!”

"Bummer, mate!!"

"Oh, I hadn't thought of that. Cheers mate. Bye!"
 
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