A husband a wife were playing foursomes golf (alternate shots). On the first hole, a par four, the husband tees off and drives the ball 250 yards down the middle of the fairway. His wife takes the 2nd shot and shanks it right into the rough. The husband then takes a five wood out of the rough and flies it 180 yards onto the green stopping two foot from the hole. His wife walks up and pulls the putt left. The husband taps in for a five. Walking across to the 2nd tee the husband mentions that they should have done better than a five. “Don’t blame me”, says his wife. “I only had two shots, you had three”.
I went to the job centre and saw a job advertised for a Fanny waxer’s assistant. I asked if I could apply and they told me I’d have to go to Cornwall. I asked if that was where the job is, she said no, that’s where the back of the queue is