Who’d win in a fight

Average boxers, or average fairy cake bakers? Could make a difference. Also, is the gorilla above or below average, and is the gorilla armed? You have to make these things clear, or the question is just stupid…
 
Gorilla quickly wipes out half the humans but gets tired and the final 15 or 20 people manage to beat the tired ape.
 
Gorilla’s diet is grass and a few leaves and bamboo shoots, the only meat is the odd ant. 30 average men probably would fancy their chances if they knew that. I wouldn’t.
 
Organized, fit healthy, with a reason... 50 blokes .. blokes win
Random fifty fellas in Stewart's park ... Gorilla all day
 
One of the humans had a gun, he chose to shoot the other humans and offered the gorrilla a bunch of bananas in a wonderful act of kindness. Police are currently searching the countryside for a gorrilla with a Kalashnikov.
 
RavsFan said:
One of the humans had a gun, he chose to shoot the other humans and offered the gorrilla a bunch of bananas in a wonderful act of kindness. Police are currently searching the countryside for a gorrilla with a Kalashnikov.
Click to expand...

And so the planet of the apes begins
 
This was actually discussed in great detail in my jiujitsu gym last week (full of stoners), must be something going around about it?
It’s obviously a gorilla, humans are rubbish, there’s very few animals we could beat, maybe sheep or domesticated cats and dogs but most animals would f*ck us up, primates take it to another level.
 
Regardless of who wins, I have reservations about being one of the 30 men as it's definitely going to end badly for a lot of them. You'd need someone like Gazza to be the first to have a go.

Unless the Boro defence was in the 30 and bored the gorilla to death.
 
We are, of course, just talking about the physical aspect of it here. It doesn't work like that in reality. You couldn't get more than 6 or 7 around the Gorilla at any one time to try and overcome it .. so when the first 6 move into the gorilla and start to jump on it and it absolutely destroys them .. would you want to be in the next 6 who try? Of course not .. you'd run a mile. So in my book - the Gorilla wins every time. As soon as it pulls somebody's arms off and starts using them to beat the others with .. it's game over.
 
I asked AI:

In a hypothetical confrontation between a silverback gorilla and 30 average, unarmed men, several critical factors would determine the outcome:

Gorilla Advantages​

  1. Raw Strength: A silverback can weigh over 400 lbs, lift 10x its body weight, and deliver strikes with crushing force (1,300–2,500 psi bite force, powerful limbs). A single swipe or bite could incapacitate or kill a human instantly.
  2. Durability: Thick skin, dense muscle, and bone structure make gorillas resistant to blunt force. They can endure significant injury before being subdued.
  3. Aggression: When threatened, gorillas fight explosively, using charges, bites, and throws to neutralize threats quickly.

Human Advantages​

  1. Numbers: 30 men could theoretically swarm or distract the gorilla, exploiting stamina limits or targeting vulnerable areas (eyes, throat).
  2. Intelligence: Humans might strategize (e.g., surrounding, grappling limbs), but this requires flawless coordination—unlikely in untrained individuals.

Key Challenges for the Men​

  • Coordination: Without training, panic and disorganization would likely prevail. A gorilla’s initial attacks (e.g., crippling the first few attackers) could shatter morale.
  • Lethality Gap: Unarmed humans lack the force to quickly disable a gorilla, whereas the gorilla can inflict fatal injuries with ease.
  • Stamina: While humans have endurance, adrenaline and chaos would lead to rapid exhaustion in a close-quarters melee.

Probable Outcome​

  • Gorilla Victory (with severe injuries): The gorilla would likely kill or maim several men in the first moments, causing the group to scatter. Even if all 30 attacked, untrained humans would struggle to immobilize or suffocate the gorilla before sustaining catastrophic casualties.
  • Human Victory (at extreme cost): Only with near-perfect coordination (e.g., simultaneous restraint of limbs/head) could the men subdue the gorilla, but this scenario is highly improbable without weapons or training. Casualties would likely exceed 50%.

Conclusion​

The gorilla’s physical superiority and lethal capacity give it the edge in most realistic scenarios. While 30 men have a numerical advantage, the lack of weapons, training, and psychological resilience in the face of extreme violence tilts the odds heavily toward the gorilla. The human group’s success would require near-impossible cohesion and sacrifice.





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Gorilla just pulls the arms off the blokes one at a time, unless he gets bored and wanders off for a banana our simian chum doesn't even break sweat.
 
Why on Earth is this even a thing? Just leave the f***ing gorillas be! I despair of people, I really do.
 
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