Inspired by this thread on Twitter...

Went to college with a lad who came up with some outstanding lies. A two-week holiday in America was actually him participating in a tennis championship, which he won - came home with nothing other than a faux American accent. He also told us that he was a Thai-bo champion. when I challenged him on that claim he came to college the next day with a belt around his head and some electricians tape on his knuckles ready to kick the s**t out of me for having the temerity to doubt his claims.
 
London_Boro said:
A friend of mine to this day still claims he designed the Curly Wurly.
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if he is called David Parfitt he is telling the truth.


best tale i heard, and i have no reason to disbelieve the feller was as follows.

the lad called Andy was in a fish and chip shop in Newmarket in the very early 1980s, around 11pm - it was a friday and had been out after work - he was working on a building site that was building some very large villa type houses and quite a few locals were aware of it, as a who's who list was being rumoured as to who was buying them, wealthy arabs, footballers, pop stars, jockeys, celebrities etc etc.

anyway, in his jean pocket down the leg where the wooden ruler goes, he had a roll of cling film - he got talking to some posh bloke who was intrigued about these new houses - and Andy told the bloke (this is the lie) that the 'cling film' was a new state of the art scientific NASA invented incredibly expensive loft insulator and that it was being used in these new million pound houses, it was so valuable that he had to take it home with him every night as it was too much of a risk to leave it on site.

the bloke give him £380 for it
 
I worked with a guy in the 80s, his name was Dave but all the lads called him Walter (Mitty, obviously). He was absolutely full of it. One which sticks in my memory, and which got him laughed out of the tea cabin one Monday morning, was when he claimed absolutely straight-faced that he'd been in the Navvy the night before, where he'd shared a few pints with Shirley Bassey. I couldn't get that scene from Eric & Ernie out of my head, her in sparkly dress and workies' boots.
 
Guy I used to work with said he drove to london in 2 hours from darlo

Over 240 miles, meaning he averaged 120mph non stop.

Aye righto

Total black dog bloke. If you saw a black dog, he had seen a blacker dog.
 
Spent approx 20 mins getting a lift home from an AA fella in his wagon once.

Never heard so much bull sh1t in my life.

He was ex forces and once ran naked through a mine field (don’t know why he’d have to do it naked, surely the mines would be enough to prove his bravery).

He was an ex England youth footballer.

And a youth GB boxer, when he was approx 15/16, Prince Naz had just won a World championship belt, and came to show the young lads the belt, this guy therefore felt the need to offer him a scrap.

There was more, and I don’t think I’m doing them justice, it was a constant stream of bollox for the entire journey.
 
Circa 1998, about 14yrs old in school, household PCs weren’t particularly common, internet just taking off.

Lad brought a letter in to say he’d been scouted, had the club badge at the top of the letter and everything. It was surprising he’d been scouted seens as though he wasn’t even on the school team.

Still surprises me that Juventus were scouting in Billingham.
 
We had a lad at work who was renowned for his tall tales. He was always referred to by his nickname, Bogbrush. When I asked about the nickname I was told "it was because his head was full of sh#t". :)
 
HarryVegas said:
I worked with a guy in the 80s, his name was Dave but all the lads called him Walter (Mitty, obviously). He was absolutely full of it. One which sticks in my memory, and which got him laughed out of the tea cabin one Monday morning, was when he claimed absolutely straight-faced that he'd been in the Navvy the night before, where he'd shared a few pints with Shirley Bassey. I couldn't get that scene from Eric & Ernie out of my head, her in sparkly dress and workies' boots.
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Shirley Basseys mam was from Middlesbrough, Shirley was conceived in Middlesbrough - her father was thought to be a visiting sailor..........so you never know, there may have been some fact in Walters tale....
 
Worked with a lad who reckon he was going across to ibiza to do a DJ slot at one of the big clubs, I forget which.

Came back to work full of it, until someone pointed out they'd seen him on Stockton High Street when he was supposedly in the Baelerics.

Awkward......
 
There was a little lad at night school at Kirby. He told me he was on Boro's books, I thought yeh, alright. It was Cummins and he gave me a comp every game from the January.
 
Heam44 said:
Circa 1998, about 14yrs old in school, household PCs weren’t particularly common, internet just taking off.

Lad brought a letter in to say he’d been scouted, had the club badge at the top of the letter and everything. It was surprising he’d been scouted seens as though he wasn’t even on the school team.

Still surprises me that Juventus were scouting in Billingham.
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Haha I know exactly who you're talking about! I'd forgotten about this 😄
 
Johnny Vincents Motorbike said:
Shirley Basseys mam was from Middlesbrough, Shirley was conceived in Middlesbrough - her father was thought to be a visiting sailor..........so you never know, there may have been some fact in Walters tale....
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South Bank to be more exact, I think Oliver Street, her Grandparents were from Marske and disowned her mother when they discovered she was seeing a man of colour (doubt they used those exact words).
 
chickenrunner said:
We had a lad at work who was renowned for his tall tales. He was always referred to by his nickname, Bogbrush. When I asked about the nickname I was told "it was because his head was full of sh#t". :)
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When I started reading this thread I just knew Bogbrush would pop up. I was unfortunate enough to work with him. Every day was another lie, he just couldn't help himself.
 
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