Depression

Sat at the riverside. Not sure I will last 1 half. Having a huge panic attack. Too many people, shit3 loud music. Fucing hell
The music will stop....when the game kicks off see if there's any areas near you that has a bit more space and move. Concentrate on your breathing to help you calm down. Focus on the good stuff....seeing the boys for the first time this season, TLF at half time....once the game starts you will.hopefully get immersed on that and the other things will weigh less heavily x
 
I left before kick off. Too much noise, too many kids. That was a mistake going. Shaking and sweating like mad.
You went. Fair play to you. You left the house and made an effort to get out there.
Next time, stay for one half or even ten minutes.
Small steps and you had a day out, at least.
Well done.
 
I’m sorry to read about what happened.

I won’t offer any advice, in the past I’ve suffered from social anxiety about doing stuff, and have similar experiences. I went all the way down to London for a concert once, forced myself to go but when i got to King’s Cross and found the tube platform, it was rammed so I turned round and got the next train home. Never happened with football though.

What I would say is that whenever I dread or worry about doing something it turns out it’s never as bad as I think it’s gonna be.
 
How do you cope with a partner who just doesn't get what you're going through? Thinks depression is an option, you can turn it off when you feel like it.

Wife's birthday yesterday coincided with my worst day for depression and anxiety. Was ready to blow, ruined the day, fled the house twice just so my head didn't explode. Really bad way. But she thinks there is an on/off switch and this anger was directed at her intentionally. It wasn't, I asked to be left alone but she continued to pick, push my buttons.

Moving forward, haven't a clue what to do for the best. Seems to be one small step forward, two big ones back. Feel worse now than in the 5-6 weeks since everything kicked off.
 
How are we all tonight.

Keep talking.
Bit down tonight. Chemo's finished and waiting for radio to start in 2 weeks. My mind wants to do so much but my.body won't let me....due to the side effects....and I'm soooooo tired all the time. I think the space in between treatments has five me the time to realise how hard these last 7 months have been.
But hey ho....tomorrow's another day!
Hope you're doing OK today Aet x
 
And you Sadgit and h_m_boro....how are you 2 getting on x
Morning, feeling a bit better than I did over the weekend. The heightened anxiety has subsided thankfully, just anxious about going into the office today. Slept fairly well last night which I haven't done in a while.

Not a fan of these mood swings and sudden bouts of red mist. Easier when it's just the depression and I'm feeling low.

Thanks for asking. Appreciate it 👍
 
I’m ok. Although i woke up yesterday morning to an idiot poster quoting one of my posts on another thread and what I thought was a really rude negative reply which brought me down a bit and made me wonder why I bother with this little community. I stayed off here all day until late last night.

Work was actually ok. My manager is aware of the problem we have with the other manager and has promised to say something. We don’t think it will stop her but it’s a start as it’s a problem shared and all that.

I feel for you Legz -I’ve been on long term sick and it’s not a good place. In fact my period on long term sick was when my problems with alcohol started.

Onwards and upwards.
 
I’m ok. Although i woke up yesterday morning to an idiot poster quoting one of my posts on another thread and what I thought was a really rude negative reply which brought me down a bit and made me wonder why I bother with this little community. I stayed off here all day until late last night.

Work was actually ok. My manager is aware of the problem we have with the other manager and has promised to say something. We don’t think it will stop her but it’s a start as it’s a problem shared and all that.

I feel for you Legz -I’ve been on long term sick and it’s not a good place. In fact my period on long term sick was when my problems with alcohol started.

Onwards and upwards.
It's mad how "rude negative replies" trigger you. I had that on another group last week, it proper narked me. One of my pet hates anyway, but in a heightened state it really p*ssed me off. No need. At. All.

Probably one of the reasons I'm only posting on this thread, smart ar*e comments will really trigger me, don't need it.
 
Some people just can't help themselves with rude/negative replies.

You need a bit of mental strength (easier said than done) to rise above those types of people, and almost feel sorry for them!

Please don't let them put anyone off from posting on here!
 
Some people just can't help themselves with rude/negative replies.

You need a bit of mental strength (easier said than done) to rise above those types of people, and almost feel sorry for them!

Please don't let them put anyone off from posting on here!
The only solace you can take is the sort of people who act like that won’t comment on or even read threads like this.

Sort of people who can’t work out why someone in a successful career could possibly be depressed, and who think people with depression just need to cheer up a bit.
 
How do you cope with a partner who just doesn't get what you're going through? Thinks depression is an option, you can turn it off when you feel like it.

Wife's birthday yesterday coincided with my worst day for depression and anxiety. Was ready to blow, ruined the day, fled the house twice just so my head didn't explode. Really bad way. But she thinks there is an on/off switch and this anger was directed at her intentionally. It wasn't, I asked to be left alone but she continued to pick, push my buttons.

Moving forward, haven't a clue what to do for the best. Seems to be one small step forward, two big ones back. Feel worse now than in the 5-6 weeks since everything kicked off.
I've said this to others on here who have made similar comments and I hope it helps. It helped me when I was going through a really tough stage.
There are no 'steps back'.
If you are on a journey, once you set off and make it an hour down the A19 and you get a puncture....you stop. You fix the puncture. And when you are ready you set off again.
You dont set off from home each time, you continue your journey having made that 1 hour of progress.
If the same happens again, you deal with it in your own time and then you continue onwards.
It's a basic analogy but I hope it is one that you can recognise.
Stay well.
 
The only solace you can take is the sort of people who act like that won’t comment on or even read threads like this.

Sort of people who can’t work out why someone in a successful career could possibly be depressed, and who think people with depression just need to cheer up a bit.
Actually my wife suffers from severe depression and i've been on Citalopram in the past too, so I know quite a bit about it.

My post about you was simply asking why you felt the need to dictate what people post about on this forum. It wasn't rude or negative.

The fact people are still discussing the weekend's events would suggest you were in fact wrong for trying to stifle it. If me pointing that out made you feel like you couldn't post for the rest of the day then I apologise, that wasn't the intention.
 
Actually my wife suffers from severe depression and i've been on Citalopram in the past too, so I know quite a bit about it.

My post about you was simply asking why you felt the need to dictate what people post about on this forum. It wasn't rude or negative.

The fact people are still discussing the weekend's events would suggest you were in fact wrong for trying to stifle it. If me pointing that out made you feel like you couldn't post for the rest of the day then I apologise, that wasn't the intention.
Ok so:

- all the best to your wife
- how on earth you think anyone can dictate what people post I don’t know. I was trying to lighten the mood by keeping other stuff at the top
- i did actually read a lot of the stuff about the rioting on Sunday, particularly the stuff posted from twitter and Tiktok as don’t have other social media and I wanted to know what was going on in Middlesbrough
- i disagree. your post yesterday morning was sh1tty and downright rude. You wouldn’t speak to me in the street like that.
-if this post is an apology, it’s accepted. But it’s missing one tiny 5 letter word, mate.
 
Ok so:

- all the best to your wife
- how on earth you think anyone can dictate what people post I don’t know. I was trying to lighten the mood by keeping other stuff at the top
- i did actually read a lot of the stuff on Sunday, particularly the stuff from twitter and Tiktok as don’t have other social media and I wanted to know what was going on in Middlesbrough
- i disagree. your post yesterday morning was sh1tty and downright rude. You wouldn’t speak to me in the street like that.
-if this post is an apology, it’s accepted. But it’s missing one tiny 5 letter word.
Sorry, mate.
 
today has literally gone by me. Still awake at 7am, since I didn't sleep and just laid staring at the walls. My heel and leg were in agony yesterday, funny I decided to get out for a walk and no pain. Big positive and the fact I went out.
 
Foooooooking hell.
I again want to scream. I love my wife, I used to love my life. I have thrown it all away. I feel numb and empty. I type like as i am never going to get back. Today is the 1st day I've not showered I did walk to buy juice and a sandwich. I'm even scared to cook food in this place as the landlady comments each time about the smell Just because I don't do ding food.

Arrrrrrhhhh I hate having a mental breakdown in public. Samaritans are probably sick of me calling
 
Insomnia is a b***r isn’t it.

Just been for a drive. Unsurprisingly nowhere was open at 2am on a Thursday in rural Cambridgeshire.

Just done the ironing.

Still can’t ruddy sleep.

Oh well.
 
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