Depression

Well I spent a good 20 mins talking to a GP this afternoon.

Won’t go into detail but it was positive stuff.

Only thing I’m struggling with is finding a local (ish) counselling service that covers LGBT community and addiction. Seem to be very London/brighton/manchester/Glasgow based (predictably so)

We’ll see.
 
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Aet290204 said:
Well I spent a good 20 mins talking to a GP this afternoon.

Won’t go into detail but it was positive stuff.

Only thing I’m struggling with is finding a local (ish) counselling service that covers LGBT community and addiction. Seem to be very London/brighton/manchester/Glasgow based (predictably so)

We’ll see.
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Great news.

a good GP are like hens teeth. Goy ultrasound already booked in for next week. Sometimes the NHS really are amazing
 
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Well the last few days have been fking horrendous. Tomorrow, god knows. Does he thought. I cooked another jungle curry and shopped like a madman, just to do something. Tempted to walk to he fox covert for something to do. I've stopped my daily Samaritans calls, just doesn't feel right. Fk it, I'm off to the pub, nearly 4 quid for a coke is criminal but gets me off this bed..
 
Completely set back today by a day in the office and the behaviour of a bullying mouthy manager (thankfully not mine but someone I have to put up with who’s attitude drags me and my team down)

Oh well. One step forward two back.
 
Aet290204 said:
Completely set back today by a day in the office and the behaviour of a bullying mouthy manager (thankfully not mine but someone I have to put up with who’s attitude drags me and my team down)

Oh well. One step forward two back.
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No mate, one step forward. That is it. You cannot control the behaviour of others. That is their issue. I have had those managers and I've had ones who ignore you. Their problem not mine. Just be you and be kind to others. fk the rest. Even in my darkest darkest days, I'm still polite and kind to other people. You never know why these people are like that. Sometimes they are literally just cnts. Other times you just don't know.
 
sadgit said:
No mate, one step forward. That is it. You cannot control the behaviour of others. That is their issue. I have had those managers and I've had ones who ignore you. Their problem not mine. Just be you and be kind to others. fk the rest. Even in my darkest darkest days, I'm still polite and kind to other people. You never know why these people are like that. Sometimes they are literally just cnts. Other times you just don't know.
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You are, of course, spot on with that comment.

In a team of four, I have a manager who just puts up with it, one colleague who is scared of her, I just actively dislike her and try to keep contact to a minimum. But the hissy fit she threw at me and my boss at 5pm last night, well. No words.
 
Aet290204 said:
You are, of course, spot on with that comment.

In a team of four, I have a manager who just puts up with it, one colleague who is scared of her, I just actively dislike her and try to keep contact to a minimum. But the hissy fit she threw at me and my boss at 5pm last night, well. No words.
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I've never understood managers like that. I was the opposite. What's the phrase, treat people how you would wanted to be treated? Fk her hissy fit, again her problem not yours.
 
Can someone tell this ends? I'm trying everything I can think of. Sat outside the fox covert with a pint I don't want, again, it will be 5 quid thrown again again but I need to feel the air. Now it rains, I like the rain though. I've even bought a fidget ring, to erm fidget with.
 
sadgit said:
How do you get out of it? I am so desperately sad, the only people I talk to are Samaritans or a passing comment to dog walkers. I've not eaten in 2 or 3 days now. I live with my headphones on. I also feel like I post on here too much about this crap. I self sabotage by drinking boat loads of vodka to numb the pain. I look at my hands and they of an old man. It has destroyed my marriage, my life and everything. This isn't a self pity post, I just need to let my brain talk
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Hey mate, having been there myself an honest answer is you have to force yourself to socialise. Meet new people. get out. do new things. It is tough love but truth.

New people can bring so much joy in your life. Try it and report back....... best wishes fella
 
Smoggyonthesolent said:
Hey mate, having been there myself an honest answer is you have to force yourself to socialise. Meet new people. get out. do new things. It is tough love but truth.

New people can bring so much joy in your life. Try it and report back....... best wishes fella
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This is one thing i am shit3 at. I just went for a pint at the fox and as I took my glass back to the bar, and my landlady was sat there having dinner. FFS. I want to meet more people, I'm just terrified to do it. I've already said the guys I've met on here wouldn't have a clue how I feel. I had the most amazing shivers and sweats yesterday, from nothing. Amazing at hiding feelings. Anyway, tomorrow will be good to be back at the riverside. I feel I keep repeating myself, well I do. Keep strong x
 
So at 1:30 am Im waiting for my pizza or was it Chinese,(again) then (again) I am not awake, just in this half awakness. FFS sleep come back to me
 
The lack of sleep is awful. Have you tried any of the coloured noises to help you. I found green noise to be really helpful but they are so many x
 
How are you supposed to snap out of depression? Longer things go on, worse things are getting. I'm now speaking to a counsellor and the doctors put me on meds as I'm not better. But I still feel absolutely sh*t.

One step forward, two back. I'm desperately sad, depressed and alone. People are reaching out, but I just cba with everyone. Wife's birthday and I've ruined it by having my worst day in a long while. Proper anxiety attack, full on row, heightened state now absolutely floored. Sat in a supermarket carpark typing this as I had to get out of the house before my head exploded.

Can't even get excited for the new footy season. Everything is just sh*t.

FFS just need to snap out of this but I can't.
 
Legz said:
The lack of sleep is awful. Have you tried any of the coloured noises to help you. I found green noise to be really helpful but they are so many x
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Yeah I use those a lot. Calms me rather than makes me sleep. Still a good thing.

I was supposed to go to the game today, but I've had massive panic attacks even just thinking of getting there. My head a place that says, go enjoy it, then 1 second later, how will you get there, what about food, what about talking to people, what about getting back, what what what

So decided not to go and I feel better for deciding that. Fk off head
 
h_m_boro said:
How are you supposed to snap out of depression? Longer things go on, worse things are getting. I'm now speaking to a counsellor and the doctors put me on meds as I'm not better. But I still feel absolutely sh*t.

One step forward, two back. I'm desperately sad, depressed and alone. People are reaching out, but I just cba with everyone. Wife's birthday and I've ruined it by having my worst day in a long while. Proper anxiety attack, full on row, heightened state now absolutely floored. Sat in a supermarket carpark typing this as I had to get out of the house before my head exploded.

Can't even get excited for the new footy season. Everything is just sh*t.

FFS just need to snap out of this but I can't.
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You don't snap out it. Try enjoy the small things, he says 🙄
I've missed my wife's birthday, my 25 wedding anniversary, mine. Funerals, you name it I missed it.

Just talk mate. Andy's Man club worked for me for a while, I really recommend it if you can get to one
 
sadgit said:
Yeah I use those a lot. Calms me rather than makes me sleep. Still a good thing.

I was supposed to go to the game today, but I've had massive panic attacks even just thinking of getting there. My head a place that says, go enjoy it, then 1 second later, how will you get there, what about food, what about talking to people, what about getting back, what what what

So decided not to go and I feel better for deciding that. Fk off head
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That's exactly how my head works when it's at its worst. Catastrophy anxiety it's called.
 
Legz said:
That's exactly how my head works when it's at its worst. Catastrophy anxiety it's called.
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Shit3 isn't it.
However I feel better for making a choice.

However I have 19 days left in this place and now thinking, what will I do, how can I afford to stay longer, do I just camp.
Cup of tea and just enjoy being alive is what I just decided, everything else can wait.
 
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