Dad Jokes - all welcome!

A hitchhiker had been trying to get a ride for hours with no luck. Finally, a car pulled to a stop. The hitcher ran up, threw his backpack in the back seat and climbed into the passenger seat.

“Hitching long? “ the driver asked.

“Hours and no one even slowed down,” was the reply.

“Boy, society has changed,” the driver said. “People are so worried and scared now.”

“I hear you,” the hitcher said. “I think they’re afraid of picking up a serial killer.”

When the driver laughed, the hitcher asked, “Didn’t you think about that when you picked me up?”

While still laughing, the driver said, “No way. I mean what are the odds of two serial killers being in the same car?”
 
A Minister of a local church was an avid golfer. Wouldn’t you know every weekday when he might be able to go golfing it was rainy and every Sunday was a wonderful sunny day. This went on for weeks-on-end! Finally another Sunday came along and it a fabulous sunny day again. He could wait no longer and lied and called in sick and said he could not give the sermon that Sunday. He immediately threw his clubs in the car and went to a golf course out of town so he would not be recognized.

Meanwhile St. Peter and God are observing this from heaven. St. Peter is just outraged and he asks God what he will be doing about a man of the “cloth” lying and deceiving his congregation. God said “He will be punished.”

The minister continued to play and on his next hole he got a hole-in-one!!!! The minister was jumping up and down with joy about his most likely once in a lifetime experience. St Peter looked at God in shock. He said “Dear Lord you said he would be punished and you gave him a hole-in-one!!

God spoke calmly and stated with resolve, “Just let him try to tell anybody he knows about it!!”
 
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