Dad Jokes - all welcome!

I was in the town yesterday and a woman came up to me. She asked if she could ask me a few questions.
1st was how old are you. ?
2 nd she then asked me if I ever had a pet. ?I said not really but I did have a goldfish when I was younger.
3rd she said any hobbies ?
I told her he liked swimming.
 
11 people were hanging on a rope, under a helicopter – 10 men and 1 woman.

The rope wasn’t strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one had to or they were all going to fall.

They weren't able to choose that person, until the woman gave a very touching speech.

She said the she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because as a woman, she was used to giving up everything for her husband and kids or for men in general, and was used to always making sacrifices with little in return.

As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping.
 
A man and his wife are visiting the doctor for a check up, doc comes in and says “congratulations, you’re pregnant!”

The husband, confused, inquires, “how can that be possible? I had a vasectomy years ago”

Doc turns to the husband and says, “let me tell you a story. A man walks through the woods and encounters a cougar. Afraid and unarmed, he raises his fingers in the shape of a gun and yells ‘BANG’. The cougar drops dead”

The husband, puzzled, states, “well that isn’t possible, someone else must have shot it.”

“Exactly,” says doc.
 
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