We collectively do not know the full picture, could you have handled it better without hind sight? Most of us have our own agenda, ie people who want to work, people who don't, young ,old. We are all different and therefore you will get different responses but we are not as clever as we all think we are.
From listening to some really sad real life stories of peoples lives, where families have been torn apart amongst other things over issues like drink, drugs, gambling and other poor lifestyle choices. There are some really sad families out there hopeless, unfortunately there are a few really selfish people that do exist who do little to nothing for the parents or grandparents, but will be happy to receive or expect an inheritance.