Wilder has a blind spot with Connolly
- Thread starter Adi_Dem
- Start date
BoroMart
Well-known member
Not at all, I have an opinion and I'm happy for people to challenge it and discuss it, and I'll challenge and discuss theirs. How exactly is that a bad thing? That's what football fandom on a messageboard is all about isn't it? I mean should we all just post and nobody responds unless they agree?
Does everyone not have at least some level of conviction that their opinion is correct, that includes both Adi and you as well as me. If we didn't they wouldn't really be opinions would they, just word salads of postulation.
I'm generally in life the pragmatist, I call out when people go over the top both positively and negatively and challenge those views. Now people have multiple choices how they can respond, they can ignore, they can engage and discuss like an adult validating their view, or they can act the way Adi did trying to be personal and bullish because I asked a few questions. Personally I would have liked him to take the middle option, but he got frustrated, let his emotions take control and did the later. It's a shame, he felt the need to go down that route, he should get some anger management. I mean it's not just me he had a spat with here is it, he did the same to Steve and bullied him into an apology he didn't need to give.
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BoroMart
Well-known member
Ok, off you pop, who the hell are you to call me a liar
and accuse me of insults and condescension, get yourself a mirror. YEs we have a difference of opinion and who exactly are you to behave the way yoi have and start to be personal simply because I have a difference of opinion?!
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Adi_Dem
Well-known member
See, he genuinely thinks I was the one that started being personal. Absolutely zero self awareness. I’ll break it down before I disappear.
This thread was humming along nicely until Mart here decided that those who disagreed with him were being analytically lazy, silly, ridiculous, lacked nuance and worst of all dishonest. He also denied being a poster who deals in absolutes and that the views on here were extreme ones.
I pointed the insults he was using out and reminded him that on the Derby thread he was very much absolutist. He didn’t like that and then started being very aggressive, dragging up old threads (and lying about what was said in them despite being reminded), and offering further insults whilst all the while accusing me of the very behaviour he is demonstrating.
That’s narcissistic gaslighting and as I said it’s deeply, deeply unpleasant to be on the end of. It’s like he lives in a completely different reality. The same thing happened on the Derby thread too. He just doesn’t like anyone challenging him.
The fact that he can’t even see it tells it’s own tale. I’d invite anyone to read this thread back and am more than happy that it speaks for itself. It went south just as soon as I pointed out to him that the language he was using was insulting and condescending and not, as he claims, because I suddenly started insulting him because our opinions differ.
So that’s why I’m off. Too many times threads descend into this and it’s tiresome and simply isn’t worth it to me any more.
This thread was humming along nicely until Mart here decided that those who disagreed with him were being analytically lazy, silly, ridiculous, lacked nuance and worst of all dishonest. He also denied being a poster who deals in absolutes and that the views on here were extreme ones.
I pointed the insults he was using out and reminded him that on the Derby thread he was very much absolutist. He didn’t like that and then started being very aggressive, dragging up old threads (and lying about what was said in them despite being reminded), and offering further insults whilst all the while accusing me of the very behaviour he is demonstrating.
That’s narcissistic gaslighting and as I said it’s deeply, deeply unpleasant to be on the end of. It’s like he lives in a completely different reality. The same thing happened on the Derby thread too. He just doesn’t like anyone challenging him.
The fact that he can’t even see it tells it’s own tale. I’d invite anyone to read this thread back and am more than happy that it speaks for itself. It went south just as soon as I pointed out to him that the language he was using was insulting and condescending and not, as he claims, because I suddenly started insulting him because our opinions differ.
So that’s why I’m off. Too many times threads descend into this and it’s tiresome and simply isn’t worth it to me any more.
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Adi - I think you can be prone to a few of the traits that you've accused BoroMart of, to be fair. (Not having a go at you mate, and don't want to prolong things).
You're both good posters though, so hopefully you'll stick around once the dust has settled after this little bust up!
Adi_Dem
Well-known member
Adi - I think you can be prone to a few of the traits that you've accused BoroMart of, to be fair. (Not having a go at you mate, and don't want to prolong things).
You're both good posters though, so hopefully you'll stick around once the dust has settled after this little bust up!
No, that may have been true once upon a time when I was younger (though I have always been at pains never to insult anyone) but it certainly hasn’t been for a good while now. and the biggest difference is that I held my hands up and modified my behaviour. Nobody is perfect least of all me but at least acknowledge it.
But no this isn’t the reason, it’s just the straw. I won’t be back once this exchange has concluded.
Either way, hopefully you'll let it blow over, and stick around
indeedido
Well-known member
I have had lost of exchanges with Adi over the years and can be very strongly opinionated myself.
However, I have to say that Adi posts much less these days, is more moderate and considerative and I certainly recognise the change in approach from a more dogmatic/absolute approach of long ago.
Adi, I like your contribution to this board and would be very disappointed if you left, as your insights are often very good and your professional interpretation of some things is really helpful. I am also mindful that you have personally gone out of your way to help a number of posters on this board with their problems.
I find that we agree on the vast majority of footballing things.
Mart you are obviously another very sharp person, who studies what he is interested in and has lots of strong opinions, many of which I agree with. You certainly add value to the board I like to be part of. But Adi is right to a fair extent on this issue. There is absolutely nothing wrong in strongly defending a considered opinion or strongly held belief, but you do make the same points over and over when it is only your opinion; others quickly get where you stand, but you appear to want to ram it down our throats until we gag and in an increasingly condescending way.
IMHO you are two of the best posters on the board. It would be ridiculous for either to leave or even put the other on ignore. I hope you move on.
(Yes I know I am a fine one to talk too about strong opinions.)
However, I have to say that Adi posts much less these days, is more moderate and considerative and I certainly recognise the change in approach from a more dogmatic/absolute approach of long ago.
Adi, I like your contribution to this board and would be very disappointed if you left, as your insights are often very good and your professional interpretation of some things is really helpful. I am also mindful that you have personally gone out of your way to help a number of posters on this board with their problems.
I find that we agree on the vast majority of footballing things.
Mart you are obviously another very sharp person, who studies what he is interested in and has lots of strong opinions, many of which I agree with. You certainly add value to the board I like to be part of. But Adi is right to a fair extent on this issue. There is absolutely nothing wrong in strongly defending a considered opinion or strongly held belief, but you do make the same points over and over when it is only your opinion; others quickly get where you stand, but you appear to want to ram it down our throats until we gag and in an increasingly condescending way.
IMHO you are two of the best posters on the board. It would be ridiculous for either to leave or even put the other on ignore. I hope you move on.
(Yes I know I am a fine one to talk too about strong opinions.)
BoroMart
Well-known member
You were and it's typical bully boy behaviour to accuse others of what you did. The rest of your word salad is just that.
BoroMart
Well-known member
..and I'm accused of lack of self-awareness. Honestly mate, get some therapy if you truly believe you are not insulting to people and don't start the personal stuff
You called me a liar, but you are at pains to not insult people?! Unbelievable.
I'll tell you what a liar is, someone pretending to be ITK to impress people on a messageboard and claiming the club will sign Jon Jo Shelvey and one other....when the club doesn't sign JJS or one other, they then skulk off and sulk about being bullied. It was a lie you created, and then played victim.....I see a pattern.
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BoroMart
Well-known member
I suggest you look back at this thread, Adi was the one that created this thread making exactly the same points as he has made on other threads, absolute points with no nuance, no spectrum of ability, no wiggle room. Maybe ask yourself why you are accusing me of making the same points, when not accusing Adi of creating a thread doing exactly that?
If you read my points on AC they are fair and balanced. I feel your judgement on this is impaired by the fact you agree with his point as much as anything and that's fine, that's what debate is about, needs two sides, but it needs honesty and respect.
Now I get he has posted from the emotion side of his brain and we can all do that, but when challenged he's doubled down, attacked Steve and then attacked me. I do wonder if he created this thread wanting to wave a red rag to me, so that he could then play victim, I wouldn't be surprised. He didn't seem to get over the embarrassment of his Gibson has no chance of winning against Derby threads.
I have the right to my view and if someone continues to make a repeated point spamming the board with 'AC has zero ability', or any other point I feel is over the top, I have the right to challenge that just as much as he does. I'll challenge it with a more moderate and considered view, as is my style. If Adi doesn't like being challenged then maybe a messageboard isn't the best place for him to post his views, maybe tweet it with responses switched off? Although I don't see the point in doing that personally, it's an echo chamber, just having a view and not wanting any form of honest debate about it
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Best of luck to you Adi if you do make this your last thread. You've certainly been a memorable contributor to this board over the years and proven yourself a very decent sort multiple times when folk have needed advice/help. This isn't the first time you've talked about quitting fmttm so perhaps you're right and it is time to move on.
Personally I'd like to think you'll treat your last thread as being this one... and one other!
Personally I'd like to think you'll treat your last thread as being this one... and one other!
Adi_Dem
Well-known member
Word salad. Therapy. Embarrassment. Dishonesty. Playing the victim. Spamming the board.
And on and on it goes. He suggests that people look back at this thread. I agree. It's going along nicely with opinions on both sides right up until he starts calling people silly, ridiculous and dishonest. When challenged on that he insults, drags up and very clearly misrepresents threads in order to belittle and mock. When his mis-remembering (being generous) is pointed out to him he doubles down and repeats the same false narrative with a few extra insults and questions aorund mental health thrown in for good measure.
A deeply, deeply unpleasant person without a scintilla of self awareness to whom I previously offered an olive branch which was, unsurprisingly, ignored. Well, no more for me. An absolute d*ckhead.
And on and on it goes. He suggests that people look back at this thread. I agree. It's going along nicely with opinions on both sides right up until he starts calling people silly, ridiculous and dishonest. When challenged on that he insults, drags up and very clearly misrepresents threads in order to belittle and mock. When his mis-remembering (being generous) is pointed out to him he doubles down and repeats the same false narrative with a few extra insults and questions aorund mental health thrown in for good measure.
A deeply, deeply unpleasant person without a scintilla of self awareness to whom I previously offered an olive branch which was, unsurprisingly, ignored. Well, no more for me. An absolute d*ckhead.
BoroMart
Well-known member
You enjoy rewriting history don't you. I thought you were leaving, another lie. The thread deteriorated when you abused steve. You've got issues fella, and what was that about making it a point to never be insulting....."d*ckhead"?! Your nothing but an internet bully, I'll continue to stand up to.
Adi_Dem
Well-known member
As I said above, I am but only once this exchange is over because I am not prepared to let you get away with lying and insulting without challenge. Only one of us has been dishonest and insulting on this thread and it ain't me. No rewriting of history whatsoever. You need to take a long, hard look in the mirror because the approach you're adopting can and does have a damaging effect on people.
And you're absolutely right that I have insulted you. I stand by it too. I have made an exception because of your bad behaviour.
You need to go back and read the exchange with Steve. Tell me where I abused him. I'll wait.
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Adi_Dem
Well-known member
I've just spotted this absolute gem. Narcissistic much?
HarryVegas
Well-known member
Well this all went a bit sideways, didn't it? From discussing a player to "Come on Henry, we're leaving!" to "I really, really am leaving you know!"
Use the ignore function and be the adult. To both or either. It's just undignified in the extreme, and we're all old enough to know better.
Use the ignore function and be the adult. To both or either. It's just undignified in the extreme, and we're all old enough to know better.
Adi_Dem
Well-known member
Nah. the more adult thing for me to do is to stop posting. For my sake and for the benefit of everyone else. I'm sticking around here because I won't have Mart spout this ***** unopposed. Once that stops, I stop. Simple.
BoroMart
Well-known member
You are an embarrassment fella. You are the one who lied, you are the one who insulted. You are the one with the bad behaviour. You bullied steve into an apology that wasn't necessary. I don't backdown to your kind
Adi_Dem
Well-known member
So point me to the bullying then. You said I have abused and bullied Steve. Show me.