When Women Abuse Men/My Wife, My Abuser

1AitorKaranka said:
Absolutely ridiculous comments from you in this thread. Any abuse victim suffers the same, we don't need to break them down into men and women. Your comments show little sympathy for any male sufferer of domestic abuse and little wonder some men don't speak out.
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Fine, but I don’t agree that abuse of females by males makes the reverse less credible, nor discourages reporting. Rather a naive approach.
 
The Ruthsayer said:
And 2 women per week are killed by their male partners.
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The Ruthsayer said:
Simply putting a little context Priv. I agree with your final sentence, but one suffers a great deal more than the other.
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The Ruthsayer said:
And who made you the arbiter? Who do you think you are, Humza Yousef?
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I think you need to broaden your mind, abuse to women is disgusting but this isn’t the topic is it? We will see no progression if everybody thought the same as you.
 
The Ruthsayer said:
Simply putting a little context Priv. I agree with your final sentence, but one suffers a great deal more than the other.
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The Ruthsayer said:
Fine, but I don’t agree that abuse of females by males makes the reverse less credible, nor discourages reporting. Rather a naive approach.
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You may not mean it but it’s exactly what your kind of comment does. Your first thought was men are worse, it’s a form of enablement. It’s also why many can’t speak out as if their partner denies it and points the finger at them everyone believes the woman. There is a lot more support available for female victims than male. Men generally dont seek help when things are going wrong not just in this but in life in general, it’s why male suicide is over 3 times higher than female, men bury things and don’t speak up.

I and everyone else on here abhor domestic violence by men to women, everyone is aware it’s more prevalent. My wife was abused and controlled by her ex, it took me minutes to put him in his place when we met (verbally not physically), thankfully I’m capable and it was needed to make her feel safe. For my own issues it wasn’t and isn’t as easy and certainly wasn’t an option.
 
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The_Lizards_Jumpers said:
Is this the one where the woman was pooing on the floor and then making her husband clean it up, and was only trapped by the nanny cams they had set up around the house ?

read about it, and it's horrific.
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Yes that's the 'wife' one. I think she actually did it on his head.She'd made him sit in the floor, and wouldn't let him sit on the bed - then came up behind him


In the other one a bloke had had his skull fractured. He was taken to hospital and then had to live in a hostel, when his attacker had been bailed to his sole address (he'd owned it 10 years before he met her, and no kids were involved). Think he said it took him over a year to get her out via solicitors
 
Priv said:
Trust me, it’s a lot easier to get trapped than you think. I’m a strong willed, big intimidating guy. I was trapped for years. Not so much physical for me it was verbal, emotional and psychological abuse. I knew I needed to get out but couldn’t figure out a safe exit. Thankfully no kids but did have a house and 2 dogs. I knew I’d never be free, I knew she’d never let me leave or leave me alone if I left and i knew if I ever found anyone else she would do her best to make their life a living misery as well. I was in a dark place and would regularly contemplate taking my own life.

Finally left her but every fear I had became a reality, the harassment stepped up to new levels, she would make frequent complaints about me to the police claiming I was abusing her and harassing her or I’d stolen from her, one claim even went as far as to say I’d tried to poison her. Thankfully the police were really sympathetic and could tell it was lies as I had witnesses and evidence that contradicted her claims and could prove otherwise. They wouldn’t prosecute her though as they felt sorry for her and said she’s just handled your break up badly it’s not her fault. She also started several money claims against me in civil court for just made up stuff, they went all the way to court before being thrown out, they wouldn’t have her for perjury though which was really frustrating, think it was after the 4th one the judge told her no more but this had span on a couple of years after separating. When she found out I was dating she went after them mostly just cyber stuff but it was relentless, when my partner got pregnant it stepped up a level, she was pregnant with twins and the abuse went on throughout the pregnancy made worse when we lost one of them mid way. We had to deal with a few false social services claims made against us from her. She was a teacher so her claims would initially have weight. Though were soon dismissed following a visit. The kids have protection notices on their files now stating they are at risk from false claims by her.

Even now years later I still get occasional grief, she lives in another country now thankfully but there’s always the worry she will return, though I’ve been told 3 seperate people have restraining orders on her there and she’s just been hit with 10’s of thousands of legal bills from people challenging false claims she’d made in court about then abusing her when she’d been abusing them. Think she has 4 or 5 victims now.

I’ve missed out quite a lot but it would take me hours to type everything she put me through
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So sorry you went through that mate
 
It’s quite surprising how prevalent it is. I know of a few other lads who went through similar things to me, others who lose ex partners made up abuse claims to stop them being able to see their kids after separation’s. Others just flatly refusing access to kids with no reason and just ignoring court orders as nothing ever happens to them. There’s a lot of nasty individuals in the world.
 
Priv said:
You may not mean it but it’s exactly what your kind of comment does. Your first thought was men are worse, it’s a form of enablement. It’s also why many can’t speak out as if their partner denies it and points the finger at them everyone believes the woman. There is a lot more support available for female victims than male. Men generally dont seek help when things are going wrong not just in this but in life in general, it’s why male suicide is over 3 times higher than female, men bury things and don’t speak up.

I and everyone else on here abhor domestic violence by men to women, everyone is aware it’s more prevalent. My wife was abused and controlled by her ex, it took me minutes to put him in his place when we met (verbally not physically), thankfully I’m capable and it was needed to make her feel safe. For my own issues it wasn’t and isn’t as easy and certainly wasn’t an option.
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Thank you for an intelligent and reasoned reply. I clearly see your point now.
 
Stayed away from this thread until now, I've shared my experiences of this before on here and just got some tosser using it as a stick to beat me with months later. Probably the same tosser who is now posting on this thread under a different username.
 
bumface said:
Stayed away from this thread until now, I've shared my experiences of this before on here and just got some tosser using it as a stick to beat me with months later. Probably the same tosser who is now posting on this thread under a different username.
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Sorry to hear that you've had experiences of this before mate
 
bumface said:
Stayed away from this thread until now, I've shared my experiences of this before on here and just got some tosser using it as a stick to beat me with months later. Probably the same tosser who is now posting on this thread under a different username.
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It goes to show it’s more frequent than people think, I never saw you mention your experiences but it shows some real courage to speak up about it, I am sorry you had to go through something terrible.
 
Priv said:
It 100% wasn’t your fault mate, it’s a hard cycle to break free from.
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I'm really sorry to read that you had to deal with this kind of thing too. It really is more common than people think. I've still got the scar on my forehead from where she threw a glass ashtray at me and nearly took my eye out. She was an ultra-possessive, paranoid lunatic and she always thought that I was cheating on her or flirting with her friends. Always sweetness and light on a night out until we got home and then that's when it started. I got very good at disarming someone who's coming at you with a kitchen knife though so it did teach me at least one useful skill.
 
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