When do you know?

sadgit said:
thank you. on my own. I do this all the time. I run away and never know why. Well to give my wife some breathing room from my state of mind. All she wants is me to be me again. I keep hoping she will finally say **** off and leave me alone but she keeps taking me back in. Probably won't this time. I want her to be happy. I don't deserve this head of mine, but nor does she.
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Oh man, can’t imagine what you are going through……

Just some thoughts…….. (and please forgive me if this comes across all worng)

Your good lady may just be taking you back because she loves the hell out of you and
……..sharing your ‘head’ with her may be better than keeping it to yourself.

Best Wishes to you both fella
 
sadgit said:
thank you. on my own. I do this all the time. I run away and never know why. Well to give my wife some breathing room from my state of mind. All she wants is me to be me again. I keep hoping she will finally say **** off and leave me alone but she keeps taking me back in. Probably won't this time. I want her to be happy. I don't deserve this head of mine, but nor does she.
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Maybe, just maybe, she recognises you are ill. In sickness and In health.
 
well it went totally downward again 9 days ago. I am living on the sofa and in a bit of a mess. Was due to drive to Ukraine last night but I pulled out due to my mental and physical state. I'm hardly eating. Is this me now? I don't know how to get out of it. I'm only typing on here as I don't want to bore my friends with more of this ****. I hear my wife talking to the cats upstairs and it breaks my heart. She said she was afraid of me a week last Thursday. My mind switches and I don't remember certain things. I am not violent but just don't know how to get back to the Mark I used to be.
 
sadgit said:
well it went totally downward again 9 days ago. I am living on the sofa and in a bit of a mess. Was due to drive to Ukraine last night but I pulled out due to my mental and physical state. I'm hardly eating. Is this me now? I don't know how to get out of it. I'm only typing on here as I don't want to bore my friends with more of this ****. I hear my wife talking to the cats upstairs and it breaks my heart. She said she was afraid of me a week last Thursday. My mind switches and I don't remember certain things. I am not violent but just don't know how to get back to the Mark I used to be.
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So sorry to read this mate. I wish there was something I could say that would help you. I sincerely hope you manage to get the help you need to get back on track.
 
sadgit said:
well it went totally downward again 9 days ago. I am living on the sofa and in a bit of a mess. Was due to drive to Ukraine last night but I pulled out due to my mental and physical state. I'm hardly eating. Is this me now? I don't know how to get out of it. I'm only typing on here as I don't want to bore my friends with more of this ****. I hear my wife talking to the cats upstairs and it breaks my heart. She said she was afraid of me a week last Thursday. My mind switches and I don't remember certain things. I am not violent but just don't know how to get back to the Mark I used to be.
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Heartbreaking to read this Mark, it really is.
I’m sorry, but that’s all I’ve got.
Sending my best wishes though.

Just had a chat with my missus - she’s a therapist.
Have you heard of ‘Steps to Change’? Apparently you can refer yourself.
Also, she commented that it’s good that you keep posting on here.
Good for you (small steps, I know)
 
1finny said:
Heartbreaking to read this Mark, it really is.
I’m sorry, but that’s all I’ve got.
Sending my best wishes though.

Just had a chat with my missus - she’s a therapist.
Have you heard of ‘Steps to Change’? Apparently you can refer yourself.
Also, she commented that it’s good that you keep posting on here.
Good for you (small steps, I know)
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Thank you. I've not read this one but added to my list. I have read so many books, had so much therapy, I as my wife says, I block it all out. 4000 weeks and atomic habits are also good books. when I get this bad all of this goes out the window. I have wanted to end it all the last few days but really don't want too, I just feel lost and totally scared.
 
sadgit said:
Thank you. I've not read this one but added to my list. I have read so many books, had so much therapy, I as my wife says, I block it all out. 4000 weeks and atomic habits are also good books. when I get this bad all of this goes out the window. I have wanted to end it all the last few days but really don't want too, I just feel lost and totally scared.
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Sorry, the programme she talked about is local to where we live.
Have you tried these guys?

NHS England » NHS Talking Therapies, for anxiety and depression

www.england.nhs.uk www.england.nhs.uk
 
sadgit said:
Thank you. I've not read this one but added to my list. I have read so many books, had so much therapy, I as my wife says, I block it all out. 4000 weeks and atomic habits are also good books. when I get this bad all of this goes out the window. I have wanted to end it all the last few days but really don't want too, I just feel lost and totally scared.
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I know you know this already but it's worth saying out loud....this current low will pass. I have a friend who uses the mantra "don't make permanent decisions based on temporary feelings" to help to keep herself safe when in crisis. It makes sense to her, but I know things that work for one person don't always work for others.
 
goalscrounger said:
I know you know this already but it's worth saying out loud....this current low will pass. I have a friend who uses the mantra "don't make permanent decisions based on temporary feelings" to help to keep herself safe when in crisis. It makes sense to her, but I know things that work for one person don't always work for others.
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this is a good way to think. Those dark negative feelings that hang around and seem to immobilize you will eventually pass and the cloud will lift. Hard as it is, try not to attach to them, they are imposters. I find that meditation helps, but its not for everyone. Just know that this mood will change for a better one, it's not permanent.
 
sadgit said:
I am getting a bit more support now and have an appointment this Tuesday with the local Mental Health Nurse. She was very good on the phone and has arranged a face to face. Small steps
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Pleased you getting help.
You maybe just need to talk.
I know I find it helpful although the NHS weren’t much use to me. I found help through a charity.
 
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