When do you know?

It’s threads like these that put threads about politics, climate change, racism, Ukraine, energy crisis etc etc into perspective.
look after yourselves guys (and girls)
you are the most important thing on this planet, the odds you are actually here are 400 trillion to 1, don’t waste that opportunity. 👍🏻👍🏻
 
Aet290204 said:
My only advice is you need to keep on talking.

I’ve been having therapy since I tried to kill myself back in Summer and my therapist is a life saver.

You are right. They aren’t friends. But your therapist is a trained professional who is there to help you. Your support group is an outlet where you can talk, share experiences.

Take care mate.
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I’ll declare an interest. My partner is a therapist of 20 years or more.

You are righ they will never be your friend they have to create boundaries.
But, crikey, they care like you will never know.
Just remember that - someone cares
 
great thread. for me, this time of the year is the peak for what I see as human weirdness - excessive shopping, and a huge social pressure to conform by seeing to "party", be "happy" for no particular reason etc. I realised a long time ago it was not for me, and I wanted no part of it. After several years of scaling down, I now have zero xmas, and feel much better for it. Occasionally it still manages to annoy me if I catch some crap on the tv, but its generally all under control, and I feel better for it. my view on mental health is that the world is such a weird, fooked up place, you'd be weird if your mental health WASN'T affected by it. I see people who lead "normal" lives as a bit weird, for carrying on as nothing is wrong. good luck to you all, with your personal struggles. people need to accept & respect we are all different.
 
Glad Christmas and New Year is over. Resolution, as always, is to make no forward looking statements and concentrate on doing one thing, anything, that is better than now, if now is a bit poo. Not big stuff, even just shifting to the other cheek if one cheek is sore. Accepting that maybe the cheek you are on is OK and taking the time to be reassured by that and be glad for that small respite.

If I've caused offence Bumface, I apologise. No harm intended.
As Plazmuh would say, Much love.
 
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I missed this thread last night. This time of year can be pretty awful for some of us. I've pretty much learned how to deal with it now but it isn't easy. Stay strong chaps. All the best to all of you. Anyone is welcome to send me a PM at any time, day or night if they're feeling low. I might not be much use but I'm here if you just need someone to talk to.
 
I’ve always struggled with this time of year

It’s the upset to normal routine. The dark nights, the short days, the dreadful weather. I get ten days off when my family all work so I’m often alone. I managed to keep myself semi busy this past week or so but I’ve still had moments of gloom.

I was alone most of yesterday feck knows how I got through it. Actually I know how I got through it - I cooked a massive shepherds pie and drank two bottles of red wine. Not good.

It’s an horrific time of year.

Hope sad face is ok.
1finny said:
I’ll declare an interest. My partner is a therapist of 20 years or more.

You are righ they will never be your friend they have to create boundaries.
But, crikey, they care like you will never know.
Just remember that - someone cares
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Kudos to your partner. I had some tricky moments early on with my therapist but she is a bloody life saver. It kind of helps that they are a specialist charity that offer help to the LGBT community but I don’t think anyone has ever come remotely close to understanding me, my thought process and the utter 5h1t show that is everything that’s happened in my life and how it’s affected my well being. I don’t know how they do it.
 
After my works accident I qualified and have degree in Person Centred Counselling but haven’t really used these skills.

After qualifying, I seemed to move away from counselling and was working with young offenders and then heading up a behaviour unit in a secondary school. I still used the skills I had but wasn’t working one to one with people on set issues.
 
Therapists or counsellors would never have worked for me. I'm just not that type. I always need to figure out my own coping strategies. I need to feel like I'm in control. We're all different, I guess.
 
Aet290204 said:
I’ve always struggled with this time of year

It’s the upset to normal routine. The dark nights, the short days, the dreadful weather. I get ten days off when my family all work so I’m often alone. I managed to keep myself semi busy this past week or so but I’ve still had moments of gloom.

I was alone most of yesterday feck knows how I got through it. Actually I know how I got through it - I cooked a massive shepherds pie and drank two bottles of red wine. Not good.

It’s an horrific time of year.

Hope sad face is ok.

Kudos to your partner. I had some tricky moments early on with my therapist but she is a bloody life saver. It kind of helps that they are a specialist charity that offer help to the LGBT community but I don’t think anyone has ever come remotely close to understanding me, my thought process and the utter 5h1t show that is everything that’s happened in my life and how it’s affected my well being. I don’t know how they do it.
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A massive shepherds pie and two bottles of red..that sounds ideal to someone like me. Pity you ain’t local, I might have dropped in to share that feast with you 😊

joking aside I’m glad that you and some of the others come on here to highlight what you are going through, and I hope some of the responses do help in some way.

Hope you have a much better 2023 and we both celebrate Boro making it back to the prem 👍🏻
 
bumface said:
Therapists or counsellors would never have worked for me. I'm just not that type. I always need to figure out my own coping strategies. I need to feel like I'm in control. We're all different, I guess.
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Same. I'm on boat loads of medication from anti depressants to sleeping tablets to anti alcohol tablets. Zero effect. My wife says I am blocking things out as I know betters perhaps she is rights, but I don't know better.
 
sadgit said:
Thank you all. I had a good night's sleep. Home to grab few things then, I don't know. I am one hell of a resilient person. But I feel so much for my wife. She met (29 years ago) a fun loving young lad now she is dealing with this monster who flips like anything.
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Glad to hear that you got some sleep. The people who love you do understand mate. Don't beat yourself up about it.
 
goalscrounger said:
On your own? Or with your wife? Feel free to message me if you're by yourself. I'm 6 hours behind the UK so will be awake most of your night.
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thank you. on my own. I do this all the time. I run away and never know why. Well to give my wife some breathing room from my state of mind. All she wants is me to be me again. I keep hoping she will finally say **** off and leave me alone but she keeps taking me back in. Probably won't this time. I want her to be happy. I don't deserve this head of mine, but nor does she.
 
sadgit said:
thank you. on my own. I do this all the time. I run away and never know why. Well to give my wife some breathing room from my state of mind. All she wants is me to be me again. I keep hoping she will finally say **** off and leave me alone but she keeps taking me back in. Probably won't this time. I want her to be happy. I don't deserve this head of mine, but nor does she.
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I've felt the same way many times mate. Always pushing people away from me because I thought that I was hurting them just by being me and being a mess. You need to get out of that way of thinking. People who care about you want to help, and I'm sure that your wife wants to help too. My closest friends have done more for my mental wellbeing than any pills or therapist ever could. You just need to let the right people in.

Look after yourself mate.
 
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