This Depression lark

sadgit

sadgit

Well-known member
Holy hell it gets on your nerves. I try my best to beat it but 4 years in it still smacks you in the face, from no where. I met some amazing people on Saturday, from here and I couldn't enjoy it. I was quivering like a crazy person. I'm now back to wondering what people in the street think of me. Like they even notice.
 
I had a bit of an epiphany when I one day realised the vast vast majority of people could not care less about what is going on around them. Before that point I used to get a lot more anxious in social situations or just daft stuff like filling the car up and feeling like i was rushing because i was holding people up.

I suppose it is both a good and bad thing that most people walk around in their own little bubble, me included.
 
One problem is that we all pretty much worry about what people think of us, when in fact, we shouldn't really care. As long as we live a good, honest life, people's opinions of us shouldn't matter.

I've worried about that over the years, especially at work, but recently I've realised that I'm not there to make friends. it's a job, as long as I'm doing my job well. That'll do for me. I'll save my energies for my actual friends outside of work. if you happen to get on with some of your colleagues, then that's an added bonus. Thankfully I do, definitely not all though.
 
This time last year I hit the lowest point in my life. It had been a steady decline since trying to stop taking anti-depressants the year before.
It makes me shudder just thinking about it.

It is fuc.king awful.
Those who know, know. If you catch my drift, mate.

I look out for your posts and they seem a damn sight more positive these days. I know it can just turn up and bite you on the ar.se just when you least expect it. You didnt wallow in depression - conversely, you actually put so much energy to helping those in need in Ukraine, at great risk to yourself. That is a fantastic thing to do when your world is all sweetness and light, let alone when you are in a black hole.
From where I am looking, you have smashed fu.ck out of depression.
 
Sadgit, I think you are being harsh on yourself. I think it is amazing that you met up with some members of the board, was it the coffee club ? I bet they were pleased that you attended, it is a big step forward and I am sure that they werent judging you. When suffering with depression our minds make us personalise everything and makes us very self conscious.

I have had depression for over 20 years, and agree that it is a horrible condition. I too was looking for the secrets of how to beat the illness, this , for me, created extra pressure. Instead I have learnt how to live with the illness. This includes recognising the triggers, how close to the edge can I push myself and how to pull back, also a massive one was how to tell others that I was struggling and how they could help me recover. The other part to learn was if I was spiralling down, how I could slow the rate of descent, how to stop it and how to rebuild my mood to get back to my operating zone.

A lot of this was to reset my thinking, to be more positive in how I viewed life. Instead of looking at the negatives, look for positives. I lost my career, my marriage and home. Instead I built a new career, I have a fantastic relationship with my kids and a good standard of living. I also reward myself when things go well or I achieve new things. That could be by treating myself to something new or enjoy a new experience or just by congratulating myself and being kind to myself.

You deserve a lot of credit, you are able to post your thoughts to this message board, you recognise your feelings and you do put into place things to make you better. It is ongoing work but a little bit of positivity every day will help you conquer your thoughts and help you rebuild your life, but you also need to carry on when things are better. That is why I dont believe that you can beat the condition, but you can learn how to live with it.
 
Colgates_shaving_foam said:
I had a bit of an epiphany when I one day realised the vast vast majority of people could not care less about what is going on around them. Before that point I used to get a lot more anxious in social situations or just daft stuff like filling the car up and feeling like i was rushing because i was holding people up.

I suppose it is both a good and bad thing that most people walk around in their own little bubble, me included.
Click to expand...

Some rather clever soul summed this up really nicely.
I accept it is easier to say than ignore the thoughts

'We think we are the centre of everyone's attention.....
In fact we are only the centre of our own'
 
sadgit said:
Holy hell it gets on your nerves. I try my best to beat it but 4 years in it still smacks you in the face, from no where. I met some amazing people on Saturday, from here and I couldn't enjoy it. I was quivering like a crazy person. I'm now back to wondering what people in the street think of me. Like they even notice.
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New people then, old friends next time fella. Think of the poor monkeys riding sheep dogs. See you next meeting of the old and bald.
 
sadgit said:
Holy hell it gets on your nerves. I try my best to beat it but 4 years in it still smacks you in the face, from no where. I met some amazing people on Saturday, from here and I couldn't enjoy it. I was quivering like a crazy person. I'm now back to wondering what people in the street think of me. Like they even notice.
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It was good to see you again on Saturday but I felt we never really got the chance to talk and catch up. Rob was talking about having a catch up in the next week or two. I think it would have been good for you to speak with El Guapo, I feel you both have a lot in common regarding travelling, etc.

Please don't think that anyone is judging you at these coffee meets, they certainly aren't and everyone is more than willing to help each other.

It is important to acknowledge that battling depression is a courageous journey, and even in the midst of your darkness, there is hope. Remember that you are not alone, and attending the coffee mornings is a sign of strength and a small triumph.

Remember, we are always here for you and anyone else who needs our support.

Edit: These coffee mornings aren't only for those who need support, anyone can attend and everyone is welcome. It is good to talk to like minded men and women and some one different from who you are normally engaged with.
 
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Colgates_shaving_foam said:
I had a bit of an epiphany when I one day realised the vast vast majority of people could not care less about what is going on around them. Before that point I used to get a lot more anxious in social situations or just daft stuff like filling the car up and feeling like i was rushing because i was holding people up.
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I relate to that when cars are behind me, what are they thinking of me etc… it’s madness but I can’t stop it
 
Just some thoughts from me:

Depression is a horrible affliction and one I firmly believe you never recover from you just learn to cope with it

And unless you are acting strangely, seriously no-one in the street will bat an eyelid at you.

Meeting new people is always scary. But you did it. Even if you didn’t say much you still did it. And like someone has already said new people can become old friends.

Finally, and my tongue is firmly in my cheek now, don’t use Boro as a distraction technique. Trust me, last night’s performance very nearly set me off on my latest depressive episode….😂
 
Norman_Conquest said:
It was good to see you again on Saturday but I felt we never really got the chance to talk and catch up. Rob was talking about having a catch up in the next week or two. I think it would have been good for you to speak with El Guapo, I feel you both have a lot in common regarding travelling, etc.

Please don't think that anyone is judging you at these coffee meets, they certainly aren't and everyone is more than willing to help each other.

It is important to acknowledge that battling depression is a courageous journey, and even in the midst of your darkness, there is hope. Remember that you are not alone, and attending the coffee mornings is a sign of strength and a small triumph.

Remember, we are always here for you and anyone else who needs our support.

Edit: These coffee mornings aren't only for those who need support, anyone can attend and everyone is welcome. It is good to talk to like minded men and women and some one different from who you are normally engaged with.
Click to expand...
When/ where is the next meeting please ?
 
I
sadgit said:
I met some amazing people on Saturday, from here and I couldn't enjoy it. I was quivering like a crazy person. I'm now back to wondering what people in the street think of me. Like they even notice.
Click to expand...
It was great to see you, as always, and we were all really glad you came. You were upfront with us about the shakes and said you had to leave so you didn’t miss the pharmacy closing. Totally honest and no one batted an eyelid to be fair. I know goalscrounger was pleased to meet you as was Nicky too. As I said when you were leaving, I’ll be in touch at the end of the week for a meet up.

As all the folks have said above, you are dealing with your nerves in an honest and forthright manner. We all support you in your drive to conquer this. Keep going.
 
The darkness never goes away because it's a fundamental part of existence. All you can do is shine light into it and not let it engulf you. No point trying to be happy, just accept that this is the reality for everyone. Just accept it as it is through the light in your mind and then it won't bother you any more.
 
I love the coffee/tea chats. I went a bit off the rails on Saturday. I'd love to meet more people, which for me to say, is bonkers. When I 1st met Rob and Alan, I was bricking it, they are such amazing people. I get a tad overwelled in larger groups now, noise chatter adds to my own noise and chatter, hence headphones are always clamped on my head. It will pass. I told my therapist today, I wish they could sick on a plastercast on my leg, and say tada.

I was thinking about Mr El Guapos stories, It made me smile last night and realise, I love life and need more adventure again.
 
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