Dementia support

the_holgate_roof

Well-known member
I was hoping for a bit of help, my dad is suffering with this awful disease but it is also taking a dreadful toll on my mam, my dad is still at home but he seems to degenerating rapidly, the first thing I think is my mam could do with some respite, we both work full time so can only offer so much support, has any body been through a similar situation and know of any support services out there?
 

Kowalski

Well-known member
I was hoping for a bit of help, my dad is suffering with this awful disease but it is also taking a dreadful toll on my mam, my dad is still at home but he seems to degenerating rapidly, the first thing I think is my mam could do with some respite, we both work full time so can only offer so much support, has any body been through a similar situation and know of any support services out there?
My mate used the Dementia UK website and and it helpful. Best wishes.
 

Same_as_before

Well-known member
We have been and continue to be in the same situation. We have used Redcar and Cleveland social services, we cannot speak too highly of them, superb does them no justice. They answer every call and always on hand.

Fortunately we have a large family to help out, but even then we could not cope through the nights, the care from services is invaluable.


I obviously don't know your council, but whoever you call they will be on hand.

Best wishes, I wish I could say it will get better, but I can't.

If you are in R&C, contact me on here via the messaging, I will pass on all the contacts. If you are not, I will tell you the processes we went through.
 

Blf

Well-known member
My mother in law went through the same thing. I worked in the mental health services and was going to try and help but the social worker who was appointed to help her sorted it all out. Finances, respite at home and in nursing care then finally full nursing care. She was superb and took the load of my mother in law.
 

etmfc

Active member
You can get a reduction in council tax if someone in the household suffers with a mental impairment that has no prospect of improvement, dementia and alzheimers come under this category. Make sure your mum in law is getting the correct level of carers allowance. There are day centres available GP may be able to advise.
 

the_holgate_roof

Well-known member
We have been and continue to be in the same situation. We have used Redcar and Cleveland social services, we cannot speak too highly of them, superb does them no justice. They answer every call and always on hand.

Fortunately we have a large family to help out, but even then we could not cope through the nights, the care from services is invaluable.


I obviously don't know your council, but whoever you call they will be on hand.

Best wishes, I wish I could say it will get better, but I can't.

If you are in R&C, contact me on here via the messaging, I will pass on all the contacts. If you are not, I will tell you the processes we went through.
Thank you, we are in Normanby so covered by R&C council so will drop you a message if that is ok.
 

gregorgregorovich

Well-known member
I was hoping for a bit of help, my dad is suffering with this awful disease but it is also taking a dreadful toll on my mam, my dad is still at home but he seems to degenerating rapidly, the first thing I think is my mam could do with some respite, we both work full time so can only offer so much support, has any body been through a similar situation and know of any support services out there?
Have you had a medicine review done with your GP? There are lots of treatments available, which can mitigate and even slow down this bloody awful disease. Get a review done by a social worker asap and they will be able to outline all the options available to you. I seem to remember that you could get 1 weeks respite care provided every 6 weeks. As I said, new tablets might help to slow down the onset, but it is a disease of plateaus followed by falls down a cliff, unfortunately. We ended up with our Mam having to go into Nursing home. I hated doing it at first, but it was the best thing we did both for our Mam and for me and my sisters. Best of luck with whatever you decide to do.
 

the_holgate_roof

Well-known member
Have you had a medicine review done with your GP? There are lots of treatments available, which can mitigate and even slow down this bloody awful disease. Get a review done by a social worker asap and they will be able to outline all the options available to you. I seem to remember that you could get 1 weeks respite care provided every 6 weeks. As I said, new tablets might help to slow down the onset, but it is a disease of plateaus followed by falls down a cliff, unfortunately. We ended up with our Mam having to go into Nursing home. I hated doing it at first, but it was the best thing we did both for our Mam and for me and my sisters. Best of luck with whatever you decide to do.
Thank you, we are contacting the GP tomorrow, hopefully for a home visit and assessment, also the social services at Redcar and Cleveland council, my mam has fought the good fight for as long as she could, we desperately need that support now.
 

The_Tiler

Well-known member
Really hope you get the support you need. We went though this as a family a few years ago. We tried to cope by ourselves as my mother lived on her own but we eventually had to call in the social services. As stated above, they were superb. She was hospitalised eventually. Again, the help that the hospital gave was fantastic. My mother came out and was put into a home. Unfortunately the pandemic hit and we were unable to see her. She died alone.

Although it's a terrible disease and very difficult to cope with, the main advice i would give to you is spend as much time with the person as you can. They may not know who you are, but you will be making memories for yourself.
Good luck.
 

the_holgate_roof

Well-known member
Really hope you get the support you need. We went though this as a family a few years ago. We tried to cope by ourselves as my mother lived on her own but we eventually had to call in the social services. As stated above, they were superb. She was hospitalised eventually. Again, the help that the hospital gave was fantastic. My mother came out and was put into a home. Unfortunately the pandemic hit and we were unable to see her. She died alone.

Although it's a terrible disease and very difficult to cope with, the main advice i would give to you is spend as much time with the person as you can. They may not know who you are, but you will be making memories for yourself.
Good luck.
Thanks for that, I am trying to spend as much time as I can with my dad, wheeled him round Redcar for an hour today, discussing things from bygone times, which he remembers well, it is killing me inside but need to be strong for both mam and dad.
 

Borotommo

Well-known member
Some great advice above, and the social/health services are outstanding, both in terms of care and understanding the resources you can utilise.
I reconnected to my stepdad with music. I knew his old favourites, so whenever I went round, or took him out, I’d put on stuff he’d instinctively know. Even though he declined swiftly, the moments of clarity when one of those tunes clicked with him were priceless, and opened up (albeit briefly) some memories we could share again. Brought him back into the room, as it were. I feel for you. It’s a horrible thing for you all to endure. Carpe Diem
 

the_holgate_roof

Well-known member
Some great advice above, and the social/health services are outstanding, both in terms of care and understanding the resources you can utilise.
I reconnected to my stepdad with music. I knew his old favourites, so whenever I went round, or took him out, I’d put on stuff he’d instinctively know. Even though he declined swiftly, the moments of clarity when one of those tunes clicked with him were priceless, and opened up (albeit briefly) some memories we could share again. Brought him back into the room, as it were. I feel for you. It’s a horrible thing for you all to endure. Carpe Diem
Thanks mate, I won’t rest until I get the right support for both of them, they gave me everything in life, now it is my time to look after them, but I love bringing old memories up with dad, we have those moments together when we connect like that.
 

Glover_elbow

Well-known member
Some great advice above, and the social/health services are outstanding, both in terms of care and understanding the resources you can utilise.
I reconnected to my stepdad with music. I knew his old favourites, so whenever I went round, or took him out, I’d put on stuff he’d instinctively know. Even though he declined swiftly, the moments of clarity when one of those tunes clicked with him were priceless, and opened up (albeit briefly) some memories we could share again. Brought him back into the room, as it were. I feel for you. It’s a horrible thing for you all to endure. Carpe Diem
same with my late dad he had Alzheimer's and was in a care home for the last couple of years it got to the point where he couldn't make meaningful conversation. He loved classical music so i used to put his favourite pieces of music on when i visited and it brought us both great joy. Music is one of the last sensory faculties to go
 
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