I once pinched a guys Chinese that he left it on a wall whilst using the cash machine - It was my first night out after having discs removed from my back and still having stitches in and was wearing a back support.
I left the Cleveland Inn just before midnight and a guy in front of me was staggering across the car park with a huge bag of Chinese. The aroma was making my mouth water and due to the time of night and everywhere being shut, you couldn't get one for love or money.
When he reached the Woodman, he dipped into the bag, took out one of the cartons and removed the lid. He then seemed to pause, staggered across the road towards the HSBC bank (Whitehouse Cafe now) and decided he wanted some cash. He placed his opened Chinese meal (which he hadn't touched) on the cottage wall and staggered back to the bank. I waited until he put his pin in the machine and it was counting out his money and I seized my opportunity and hobbled off with his Chinese. The guy was shouting after me but didn't know if he should leave his card and money to go after me or wait for it all to pop out. Luckily for me he chose the latter and this gave me a 150 metre start on him. At first I thought I would just pick it up and move it, but when I realised it was beef and green peppers in black bean sauce and he wasn't getting it back. I headed off down the High St towards the Pov and was nearing the corner of Braidwood when he set off staggering and shouting after me.
Now you have got to picture this drunk guy staggering about trying to chase a guy who is just learning to walk again and I am juggling the Chinese from hand to hand because the carton is burning my fingers. I'm trying to run like Douglas Bader and he's closing in on me, when we reach the first cut. I know I've got get through the first cut and into the second to make it home before he catches me. I'm now through the first and into the second and can see the back of our house. I turn into our gateway and have my keys ready when he is at the back of the house. I've got the door open and in I go, closing it quickly behind me. The wife comes to the top of the landing, puts on the light and demands to know what I've been doing - she knows I'm up to no good. I shout for her to turn the light off and the guy appears at the end of the drive and he's looking about not knowing where I had gone.
The wife and I end up sat on the stairs, watching the guy going back and fore trying to suss out how I've disappeared into thin air, whilst we are eating his Chinese.
For weeks after I went out with a spare fiver to give to the bloke if he pulled me.