Thanks all....

Aet290204 said:
But - and this is also my experience- from what you’ve written you really don’t sound like an alcoholic, you don’t even sound dependent on alcohol. You just drink heavily to self medicate when you feel depressed and low. I drink mainly out of boredom, and when I’m struggling with life - unfortunately I just drink more. And yes it makes everything 100 times worse. I totally get it. I’ve been told I don’t need AA and that I probably need a type of CBT to understand why you turn to drink, rather than get up go for a walk or something else. You probably need the same.

Help is so difficult to get. Not that I’d recommend this in any way but just over a year ago I lost the plot, got in the car and went and stood at a train station, rang the 111 crisis line and told them I was going to jump in front of a train. That suddenly got me help and got me the 1-1 counselling I needed. I’m still not out if it. Not sure I ever will be.

Hope this helps mate.
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100% not alcoholic. I now know this. I have had the crisis team at my house during lockdown. I have been on a waiting list for almost 2 years, for help. I did call them again 15 months ago (could be more or less) when I took my seatbelt off at 120mph and decided if I injured another person, I just couldn't do that.
 
sadgit said:
I will get there, I know I will. I don't have many friends or family so post on here as my sounding board.
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Any release of emotion anywhere is like the old pressure cooker knob....hearing the steam hiss out..... top man for venting...venting should be done more.
In america ( apart from the risk of being being shot dead at walmart) they have scream rooms where you can go and scream / smash things up with a hammer
It's the venting that we all need I'n various ways
 
SCG said:
How are yer today @sadgit

This board is great, never come across these threads before anywhere else and the support everyone gives
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Ha the best. My wife wants a divorce, back in the car and my brother told me to get ****ed. Life keeps on giving. I take fully responsibility so now I have no wife, brother, mother or father. I hate my parents so that is no great loss.
 
Are you working… when I had a really bad time a couple of years ago going into the work kept me going, the routine like.
 
MoggasDog said:
Hello @sadgit
How are you feeling?
Have you thought about what you are going to do next?
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Called several services pleading for help. I'm at home at the moment. But I have been told that it is the end for us. 25 years married next year. Depression is a horrendous disorder. I'm not working, on long term sick and they broke me 3 years ago. No excuses I need to win me back, god knows how bit I will. Just taking a lot longer than I wanted 😔
 
sadgit said:
Called several services pleading for help. I'm at home at the moment. But I have been told that it is the end for us. 25 years married next year. Depression is a horrendous disorder. I'm not working, on long term sick and they broke me 3 years ago. No excuses I need to win me back, god knows how bit I will. Just taking a lot longer than I wanted 😔
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Well, I think you've every right to feel sorry for yourself. You are clearly going through one of those stages in life where your only luck is bad luck and when all things that happen are bad - one thing after another.
Keep on keeping on. Hopefully, at least one of the services you have contacted will come through and bring you the help you need, mate.
I can say from experience that some of us are genetically predisposed to end up in holes that we couldnt ever get out of alone and without help. The first time it happens is awful and can be soul destroying to think that you cannot do it alone. But you have clearly put your hand your hand up and sought help - a massive step forward, I think.
If they don't help now then keep at them until they do. That's what I did. It can take a while before you get to speak to somebody who actually understands what's going on, especially in NHS frontline services.
 
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