Stuff you've had nicked

My first car was nicked from outside house. Heard them roar off down the road so rang police straight away, they got car on tail off them and caught up with them top of Park End. Scrotes ran off.
Had to go to North Ormesby nick next day to pick car up. Me green as grass goes in with car keys in hand. Policeman laughed and had to show me how to start car with screwdriver as ignition key lock completely smashed off.
 
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