Its not a derby.

Yes we understand. But we also understand that the reason Sunderland fans go to so much trouble to declare that there is no rivalry, it isn't a derby, that Middlesbrough isn't in the North East or that playing Boro is no more important to them than playing Peterborough, is just their pathetic and desperate attempt to be a slightly bigger fish in a greatly reduced pool.

Being constantly overshadowed by another club is much less uncomfortable if you can convince yourself that that club is in another part of the country. The saddest part is that they think it hurts us. It hurts us as much as being insulted by Cambridge United fans hurts us.
This 100%. A word thrown around a lot when it comes to football fans is delusion but I really think it applies here. I'm sure in their minds doing down our significance and stature (which in my lifetime has far exceeded anything they've achieved) is their way of inflating their own significance. Truth is they are what they are and everyone else sees it. A middling club that achieves very little, has been awful for a long time now, from a very unfashionable part of the world that's nothing like their much more glamorous neighbours up the road. Its an outlook I've encountered with almost every one of them I've met. It makes it all the sweeter when we near constantly outperform them and its made our success all the sweeter this season as we've all watched them fall away.
 
Who cares what the Sunderland and Newcastle fans think? Let them have their little derby that nobody outside of those two cities gives a toss about.
At least the likes of
Man Utd v Liverpool
Celtic v Rangers
Arsenal v Spurs
Real v Atletico Madrid
AC v Inter

All proper derbies people from all over the world watch.
This.
Forgive me I may be wrong, but I thought a derby was between teams from the same town/city?
As per above?

So, Newcastle v Sunderland is NOT a derby, despite what people from Tyne and Wear may desperately want to be true. But it isn't.
Local rivalry yes, derby no, nay, nay, thrice nay, never.
 
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