Feuds with neighbours

I

Il Preside

Active member
Basically up to a few months ago I have lived very happily next to my next door neighbours no matter where I have lived.
In February we had to confront our new neighbours as in doing up their garden they had adjusted the garden fence that separates the houses leaving an ugly gap at the bottom of the fence that had once been flush to the floor. They denied any wrong doing when politely challenged but things got heated and voices were raised. We apologised to the bloke for our part in the unsavoury scenes later that evening and an uneasy truce began. However, the woman has refused to acknowledge us etc since and when texted by my wife to check if things were OK with us all did not get a response - which in our view is a response in itself. Things are really awkward now and we have to time leaving the house to avoid them. They have two really noisy kids who are constantly kicking balls into our garden and when we return the balls, knowing that the adults are in the garden, we never get a ‘thanks’. We now feel as though they are turning the others in the neighbourhood who we have always got along with against us. Any advice or is any one on this board currently in a feud?!!
 
Il Preside said:
Basically up to a few months ago I have lived very happily next to my next door neighbours no matter where I have lived.
In February we had to confront our new neighbours as in doing up their garden they had adjusted the garden fence that separates the houses leaving an ugly gap at the bottom of the fence that had once been flush to the floor. They denied any wrong doing when politely challenged but things got heated and voices were raised. We apologised to the bloke for our part in the unsavoury scenes later that evening and an uneasy truce began. However, the woman has refused to acknowledge us etc since and when texted by my wife to check if things were OK with us all did not get a response - which in our view is a response in itself. Things are really awkward now and we have to time leaving the house to avoid them. They have two really noisy kids who are constantly kicking balls into our garden and when we return the balls, knowing that the adults are in the garden, we never get a ‘thanks’. We now feel as though they are turning the others in the neighbourhood who we have always got along with against us. Any advice or is any one on this board currently in a feud?!!
Click to expand...
If this post hasn't omitted anything significant it sounds like they are just a pair of idiots. Ignore them like they ignore you.
 
It's only happened to us once and it went on for 8 years until they moved (despite warning us that they'd never give us the satisfaction of moving first). We stuck it out and just slightly adjusted our routines to avoid conflict. The woman certainly had mental health issues but that's no excuse for the nastiness and her husband followed her around like a lapdog. I actually felt sorry for them both in a way. Just keep your chin up fella and as far as your neighbours are concerned remember it's not 'Team You' and 'Team Them'. Remain cordial with the other neighbours but don't go out of your way to get them on your side or gossip about the nasty neighbours.
 
Il Preside said:
Basically up to a few months ago I have lived very happily next to my next door neighbours no matter where I have lived.
In February we had to confront our new neighbours as in doing up their garden they had adjusted the garden fence that separates the houses leaving an ugly gap at the bottom of the fence that had once been flush to the floor. They denied any wrong doing when politely challenged but things got heated and voices were raised. We apologised to the bloke for our part in the unsavoury scenes later that evening and an uneasy truce began. However, the woman has refused to acknowledge us etc since and when texted by my wife to check if things were OK with us all did not get a response - which in our view is a response in itself. Things are really awkward now and we have to time leaving the house to avoid them. They have two really noisy kids who are constantly kicking balls into our garden and when we return the balls, knowing that the adults are in the garden, we never get a ‘thanks’. We now feel as though they are turning the others in the neighbourhood who we have always got along with against us. Any advice or is any one on this board currently in a feud?!!
Click to expand...
Unbelievable that like 🤣
 
Aet290204 said:
Well for starters I’d keep hold of the footballs next time one gets kicked into your garden. Make them come round and beg for it back.
Click to expand...
The kid has come round once or twice but don't have the heart to be nasty to him. That said if I were his parents I’d be giving him the hard word about being careful but they don't seem to
 
I fell out with my old neighbour over a fence.
We had 3 ft fences between our gardens either side. As do all those for at least 3 houses either side. I hated it as the neighbours would chat across to each other and there was zero privacy. If we were sun bathing everyone could see. Everyone could hear every part of your conversation. It just felt very intrusive.

So I informed neighbours both sides that I intended to replace with a 6ft fence. I was covering full cost etc. Neither neighbour particularly liked it. One side accepted it. One side ranted at me and then stormed inside. A couple of days later she caught me and said could I reconsider a 4.5ft fence or 5ft max. I said no as it still wouldn't give me the privacy I wanted as it would be below eye level. So she stormed off again.

Anyway she never spoke to me again for the next 3 years until she moved out earlier this year.

Oh yeah she claimed the existing fence was on her side of the boundary line as well and wouldn't let me put new fence on the same line. I couldn't be bothered to check whether this was true so just put the new one up tight against it. So she kept her 3ft fence on her side out of stubbornness. Now the new neighbours want rid of it but are gonna have a job removing it without undermining my fence.
 
Aet290204 said:
Well for starters I’d keep hold of the footballs next time one gets kicked into your garden. Make them come round and beg for it back.
Click to expand...
Bizarrely, you have to give them it back and it's illegal to withhold it. We had a strip of grass next to our house and all the local kids played on it even though it was our garden, so we were tortured by this.

OP - there are things that you can do, but you need to beware - are you likely to move? Do they own / rent?

If you report to the police, council or make any form of action against them then you need to declare it as a dispute which can torpedo any house sale.

We has problem in our old house with some utter scumbags in the street, their kids were hitting our house with 2x4's and cutting our virgin cable and other daft stuff - these were 5-8 year olds and absolute little *****. I photographed it and reported to the police but never heard anything. They then told the police I was taking photos of their naked kids so we got a visit, and he was banging on our door at 4-5am yelling all sorts - police took our side and had a word but my girlfriend was in bits and couldn't sleep so we moved. Best thing we ever did.

Luckily they moved out a few months before the forms needed filling in
 
Our next door neighbour talks like hyacinth bucket to anyone and everyone with a ridiculous false posh voice, shes always whinging at anyone parking near her house. The comedy value is shes a complete lush and frequently screams at the hubby and teenage kids on a night like a navi from brambles farm
 
Il Preside said:
Basically up to a few months ago I have lived very happily next to my next door neighbours no matter where I have lived.
In February we had to confront our new neighbours as in doing up their garden they had adjusted the garden fence that separates the houses leaving an ugly gap at the bottom of the fence that had once been flush to the floor. They denied any wrong doing when politely challenged but things got heated and voices were raised. We apologised to the bloke for our part in the unsavoury scenes later that evening and an uneasy truce began. However, the woman has refused to acknowledge us etc since and when texted by my wife to check if things were OK with us all did not get a response - which in our view is a response in itself. Things are really awkward now and we have to time leaving the house to avoid them. They have two really noisy kids who are constantly kicking balls into our garden and when we return the balls, knowing that the adults are in the garden, we never get a ‘thanks’. We now feel as though they are turning the others in the neighbourhood who we have always got along with against us. Any advice or is any one on this board currently in a feud?!!
Click to expand...
If there's nothing else to it - and I'm not suggesting there is - then there's not a lot you can do but let them get on with it
 
Im going to probably fall out with those behind me. Their rear gardens are a complete mess, lawns overgrown, one has a shed falling to bits, trees that need topping before they start growing on an angle. My rear border is a complete mess and takes a day to tidy up when I come back after 28 days graft, all the weeds and long grass growing through from my neighbours.

Im probably going to have to build raised beds and put expanding foam in the gaps and the weed sheeting down.

All fur coats and no knickers on Wynyard
 
I feel your pain. I had a very heated clash one evening with the neighbour years ago over cars blocking drives etc, long story. The next day I was going to my car and he was going to his. We looked at each other and crossed the road and shook hands and apologised. That's how these things should be settled but it isn't always as easy as that.

It sounds like you are doing your best to be adult and respectful about it all so try not to be too hard on yourself. Maybe time will heal things. The ball is in their court now ( or garden in this case!! ) Don't appease them though because they don't deserve this and you will end up feeling s..t about yourself. You have to retain your dignity and self respect. Take things one day at a time.

PS to put things into context at least it won't get as bad as the Kinahan/Hutch feud in Dublin. 19 dead to date. Now that is a feud! Good luck!
 
ThatFragranceGuy said:
OP - there are things that you can do, but you need to beware - are you likely to move? Do they own / rent?

If you report to the police, council or make any form of action against them then you need to declare it as a dispute which can torpedo any house sale.
Click to expand...
What would OP involve the police for exactly? Ignoring a text message? Or not saying thanks?

:)

Anyway - falling out with neighbours is horrible, and can be very stressful. Its best to avoid it escalating if at all possible, and unless they are properly annoying you then best not make it worse.
 
Il Preside said:
Basically up to a few months ago I have lived very happily next to my next door neighbours no matter where I have lived.
In February we had to confront our new neighbours as in doing up their garden they had adjusted the garden fence that separates the houses leaving an ugly gap at the bottom of the fence that had once been flush to the floor. They denied any wrong doing when politely challenged but things got heated and voices were raised. We apologised to the bloke for our part in the unsavoury scenes later that evening and an uneasy truce began. However, the woman has refused to acknowledge us etc since and when texted by my wife to check if things were OK with us all did not get a response - which in our view is a response in itself. Things are really awkward now and we have to time leaving the house to avoid them. They have two really noisy kids who are constantly kicking balls into our garden and when we return the balls, knowing that the adults are in the garden, we never get a ‘thanks’. We now feel as though they are turning the others in the neighbourhood who we have always got along with against us. Any advice or is any one on this board currently in a feud?!!
Click to expand...
Have you considered that they were chunts in the first place? Before anything kicked off! Has your neighbour sorted the fence out? I wouldn’t be avoiding them ffs.. especially if you’ve done nothing wrong!
 
newyddion said:
Have you considered that they were chunts in the first place? Before anything kicked off! Has your neighbour sorted the fence out? I wouldn’t be avoiding them ffs.. especially if you’ve done nothing wrong!
Click to expand...
The woman presumably thinks we were out of order getting angry and raising our voices (even though he was giving as good as he got)
 
The neighbours behind me pîss me off they have bird tables and bird feed all it does is invite loads of pigeons to shît everywhere. Ive considered a bird scarer but the mrs doesnt want to start a fued. The other pepole in our street who pîss me off are cat owners who think its ok for their moggies to shît on your front lawn and climb over your car.
 
Last edited:
Steer said:
What would OP involve the police for exactly? Ignoring a text message? Or not saying thanks?

:)

Anyway - falling out with neighbours is horrible, and can be very stressful. Its best to avoid it escalating if at all possible, and unless they are properly annoying you then best not make it worse.
Click to expand...
That's all that has happened so far, if it escalates police can easily get involved, once you report anything it's on file and must be declared. People have been taken to court over failing to declare a dispute so worth knowing all of this lest it does escalate.
 
This will be long winded but semi entertaining, I’ve never had argument with a neighbour before or after this incident.

I had a next door neighbour who was abusive to his girlfriend I could hear it through the walls all the time.

I lived on a terrace of 3 houses. I lived at one end they lived in the middle, a friend of mine lived the other side.

I was at that friends house one night she had a couple of other friends round as well and the house In-between were shouting, arguing and screaming all night. Later on we headed out to the pub, one of the girls thought it would be funny to knock on his door on the way out and shout leave your girlfriend alone through the letterbox. As we were walking off up the road he came running out of his house with a pool queue, shouting who do you think you are to knock on my door, no one does that to me, I’d supped the best part of a bottle of rum, so turned round and said “who me?” He said yeah quite aggressively.

So I stopped and said are you threatening me with a stick, you little c*nt? Started walking towards him and followed with ill take that off you and shove it up your arris you little pr1ck. He then ran away shouting at his girlfriend to ring the police.

Laughed it off, thought nothing else of it and ended up in town later.

The next morning I woke up and was hanging as it had been a late one. Text the neighbour and asked if anyone wanted a McDonald’s breakfast getting. She asked me to pop round.

Turns out after she went home earlier than me the lad from next door was waiting for her with his Dad in tow. He’d grabbed her arm and demanded to get me back there but she’d refused it, he had even left her with a bruise as well. He’d named dropped a load of the “hard lads” from Darlo and how they were all going to be hunting me. She mentioned a few of the names which was funny as they were lads I know as I went to the same gym as them and we had mates in common. One I knew pretty well.

I decided to knock on his door and try and sort things out as figured it wasn’t worth the hassle arguing with neighbours. He wouldn’t answer the door and instead lent out of an upstairs window to tell me I was dead and his dad and his dads mates were on their way to batter me.

I decided to call his bluff with an aggressive tone and shouted up that’s fine not a problem, tell them to hurry the F up as I’m looking forward to teaching you and your dad some f-ing manners. Then went and got a deck chair and sat on the end of my drive. I could hear his girlfriend talking to him through the open window saying look at the size of him (I’m a gym rat) what if he batters your dad. He replied he won’t he’s just a pr*ck a nobody to her.

In the meantime I messaged one of the lads he’d name dropped. He knew who he was but didn’t know him well, he thought it was funny but it also p1ssed him off at the same for being name dropped. He actually offered to have him picked up and delivered to me 🤣

I replied it’s fine don’t worry about it. Il sort it myself as was concerned it sounded too much like abduction/kidnapping.

About 30mins later a car pulls up out the front I’m thinking right here we go it’s game time, then instead his mam got out and apologised to me and the other neighbour. I told her she needed to sort her sons attitude and behaviour out or were going to have continuing issues.

They moved out at the end of the month

I found out later his dad got a slap for name dropping people he didn’t even know.
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top