I was never allowed to grieve for my mum. She battled cancer for 15 years until it finally took her at 66. My now ex wife wouldn’t talk to me about it in fact I wasn’t allowed to mention it she even stopped the kids going to the funeral. I bottled it up and it hurt every birthday every Christmas it was a taboo subject. 4 years later the old man passed and I again bottled it up thankfully I met a good women who sat me down and simply said “tell me about your mam and dad”.
It all came out following a severe bout of depression and the love of a good women saw my through.
You have to do what feels right. Time softens the burden of grief but it never really goes away you learn to live with it but every so often a song, a memory or even a silly thing like the smell of roast beef for example brings on tears and emotion but to me it shows how deeply I loved them and they me.
It’s personal and we each deal with it in our own way there is no right or wrong answer.