Any Dad tales to tell?

redblood

Well-known member
I know some will say that this is a football forum etc but my dad was Boro barmy and one of the contributing factors of him returning to England
whilst my mam, sister and I remained. I've also been giving him a lot of thought recently as in the past month it has been the anniversary of his birth and death.

A few months after returning to Oz and the four of us had all found work and all seeming to be going well, I asked my dad what was wrong as he had been
unusually quiet and looking rather miserable as the rest of us were chatting away about our day.
My mam said that dads not happy at work and so I asked again. Why dad, what's going on?
Argh this lad from work. Every day, every day, I go to work and nod my head and say morning to everyone and this one lad every day says " Ow ya goin ya
Pommie P**fter or ya Pommie Pr*ck Pommie Basta*d " I've had it up to here with him" as he almost slices his own throat with his fingernails. I'm gonna put
this through him as he's clenching his fist. Sit down dad my sister cries out, Dad sit down.

I was still laughing at the first hearing of Pommie P**fter but managed to spurt out " Dad, that means he likes you " WHAT ? Likes me, how the bloody hell do
you work that out, likes me ? All the lads at work like me but none of them call me a P**fter. Sit down Dad my sister tries again.

Dad thats the Aussie way. they love to wind us poms up, I cop it every day and they love it even more when you take the bait. Jeez dad, we've lived in Oz before
you should know that. Besides they talk to each other like that. You see it daily how someone will yell out G'day Billy ya old fart and in return the other will say
Bazza you wrinkly old pr*ck how've ya been?

Several days later, my mams stirring something on the stove and my dads right behind her with his arms stretched around her belly as I come in the back door.
Hey son, hows this, you're never going to believe what happened at work today.? Remember that lad that I was planning on murdering ?
I wasn't sure as I didn't know how many enemies my father might have made recently but said yeah I think so but I didn't know that things had gotten that bad.
He laughed and said no, son, listen, you won't believe it. He came up to me this morning and asked me if I would do him a big favour and whilst I was thinking
that I would do us all a favour by putting his nose on the other side of his head. He told me that his dad died when he was fourteen and how much he missed his
dad and how they did everything together and that he was going to get married soon and that if his dad was still alive that he would want his dad to be his best man
and he asked me if I would fill in for his dad.

I said Dad, that's lovely, did you say yes? I did son, I did.
See, I told you that he liked you. I know son, I know.

All four of us were invited to the wedding and reception and I had only met the groom momentarily before the bride arrived.
At the reception, I went to the toilet and in walked the groom and a couple of his mates and on noticing me he called out to me. He told me how proud he was
that my dad had been standing next to him as his best man. I told him that I was proud too but also told him that he was very lucky that my dad hadn't snotted him
one as my dad didn't take too kindly to being called a Pommie P**fter.

We all had a good laugh and as I was about to reach for the toilet door he called out to me again.
He said I don't know if your dad told you this but the day that I asked your dad the favour and told him the story of my dad and his death. Your dad grabbed hold of
me and gave me a big long hug and when he let go of me he said yes, of course I will son with a few tears rolling down his cheeks. He said that that made him cry too
not only because he had said yes but he also called me Son.

Bloody hell, here I am now, fifteen years old with tears rolling down my cheek with arms wrapped around a man in the mens toilets.
Thank god none of my workmates were there to witness that scene.

That's my dad for ya. One day he's planning your death and the next he might well be mounting ya.
 

Pak_Doo_Ik

Well-known member
What a lovely story mate, dad's really are the daftest and best people in the world.

Mine isn't anywhere near as heartfelt as yours but I remember when we first moved down to Selby for the Shipyard, my old man came home from work to hear my mum excitedly telling me and my sister she'd got a new job. My dad says that's great where is it?

Hillards my mum says, well my dad's mood changed instantly, there is no way you are working there he shouts, my mum goes straight back, and why not, we need the money and it's a decent job with decent money.

My dad's response, because there is no way you are working in a club!!!

I've heard all the fellas at work talking about the place and how they see each other there every Friday night.

Silence for a few seconds, me and me sister look at each other slightly worried as we know how these arguments can last.

Then my mum starts laughing, Hillards is a supermarket you pillock.

My old man couldn't believe blokes would be talking about meeting up at a supermarket on Friday night at work and believed Hillards was some sort of seedy nightclub.

Dad's eh???
 

redblood

Well-known member
What a lovely story mate, dad's really are the daftest and best people in the world.

Mine isn't anywhere near as heartfelt as yours but I remember when we first moved down to Selby for the Shipyard, my old man came home from work to hear my mum excitedly telling me and my sister she'd got a new job. My dad says that's great where is it?

Hillards my mum says, well my dad's mood changed instantly, there is no way you are working there he shouts, my mum goes straight back, and why not, we need the money and it's a decent job with decent money.

My dad's response, because there is no way you are working in a club!!!

I've heard all the fellas at work talking about the place and how they see each other there every Friday night.

Silence for a few seconds, me and me sister look at each other slightly worried as we know how these arguments can last.

Then my mum starts laughing, Hillards is a supermarket you pillock.

My old man couldn't believe blokes would be talking about meeting up at a supermarket on Friday night at work and believed Hillards was some sort of seedy nightclub.

Dad's eh???
You're not wrong there mate about dads being daft and best people in the world.

It's such a shame that my dad didn't settle in Australia like the rest of the family and we spent more time apart throughout our lives but I would
always ring him and visit him every couple of years or so and took him to as many Boro games as possible.

Whenever I rang him after a Boro game and said " Hi dad, how are you? he would always answer with " Eee son we ( Boro) were bloody awful
I'm pig sick, that's me done never again. Lol, Don't know how many times I heard that throughout my life.

We would chat for half an hour or so and after hanging up my wife would ask me how dad was. I always had to respond with I don't know we only
talked about the Boro. I only know that he's pig sick. 🤣
 

Trug

Well-known member
I know some will say that this is a football forum etc but my dad was Boro barmy and one of the contributing factors of him returning to England
whilst my mam, sister and I remained. I've also been giving him a lot of thought recently as in the past month it has been the anniversary of his birth and death.

A few months after returning to Oz and the four of us had all found work and all seeming to be going well, I asked my dad what was wrong as he had been
unusually quiet and looking rather miserable as the rest of us were chatting away about our day.
My mam said that dads not happy at work and so I asked again. Why dad, what's going on?
Argh this lad from work. Every day, every day, I go to work and nod my head and say morning to everyone and this one lad every day says " Ow ya goin ya
Pommie P**fter or ya Pommie Pr*ck Pommie Basta*d " I've had it up to here with him" as he almost slices his own throat with his fingernails. I'm gonna put
this through him as he's clenching his fist. Sit down dad my sister cries out, Dad sit down.

I was still laughing at the first hearing of Pommie P**fter but managed to spurt out " Dad, that means he likes you " WHAT ? Likes me, how the bloody hell do
you work that out, likes me ? All the lads at work like me but none of them call me a P**fter. Sit down Dad my sister tries again.

Dad thats the Aussie way. they love to wind us poms up, I cop it every day and they love it even more when you take the bait. Jeez dad, we've lived in Oz before
you should know that. Besides they talk to each other like that. You see it daily how someone will yell out G'day Billy ya old fart and in return the other will say
Bazza you wrinkly old pr*ck how've ya been?

Several days later, my mams stirring something on the stove and my dads right behind her with his arms stretched around her belly as I come in the back door.
Hey son, hows this, you're never going to believe what happened at work today.? Remember that lad that I was planning on murdering ?
I wasn't sure as I didn't know how many enemies my father might have made recently but said yeah I think so but I didn't know that things had gotten that bad.
He laughed and said no, son, listen, you won't believe it. He came up to me this morning and asked me if I would do him a big favour and whilst I was thinking
that I would do us all a favour by putting his nose on the other side of his head. He told me that his dad died when he was fourteen and how much he missed his
dad and how they did everything together and that he was going to get married soon and that if his dad was still alive that he would want his dad to be his best man
and he asked me if I would fill in for his dad.

I said Dad, that's lovely, did you say yes? I did son, I did.
See, I told you that he liked you. I know son, I know.

All four of us were invited to the wedding and reception and I had only met the groom momentarily before the bride arrived.
At the reception, I went to the toilet and in walked the groom and a couple of his mates and on noticing me he called out to me. He told me how proud he was
that my dad had been standing next to him as his best man. I told him that I was proud too but also told him that he was very lucky that my dad hadn't snotted him
one as my dad didn't take too kindly to being called a Pommie P**fter.

We all had a good laugh and as I was about to reach for the toilet door he called out to me again.
He said I don't know if your dad told you this but the day that I asked your dad the favour and told him the story of my dad and his death. Your dad grabbed hold of
me and gave me a big long hug and when he let go of me he said yes, of course I will son with a few tears rolling down his cheeks. He said that that made him cry too
not only because he had said yes but he also called me Son.

Bloody hell, here I am now, fifteen years old with tears rolling down my cheek with arms wrapped around a man in the mens toilets.
Thank god none of my workmates were there to witness that scene.

That's my dad for ya. One day he's planning your death and the next he might well be mounting ya.
You bstd Redblood- I've got tears rolling down my cheeks now.
 

redblood

Well-known member
Sorry about that Trug.

The saddest thing for me was that when I last saw my dad alive he had just remarried and had brought his new wife to Oz to meet me and my wife.
My wife and I had sold up in Sydney and moved to the Sunshine coast in Queensland where we had bought a lovely house on acreage.
He was blown away with all the wildlife running around the property and told me how proud he was of me.

After our wives had gone to bed and the two of us were on the back verandah having a few beers and a chat about everything and anything
and of course the Boro when he suddenly asked me if there was anything that I would like to ask him.

I had been brought up being told not to stick my nose into other peoples business and that people will only tell you what they want you to
know and to leave it at that.
So I said no dad, why do you ask that?
He said Oh I don't know son, I just thought that you might have some questions to ask me, about me or your mam.
I said no dad not really.

That was and still is and always will be the biggest regret of my life.
From the moment I got that dreaded call from England informing me that my dad had passed away, I suddenly realised that there was so many
things that I didn't know and so many questions that were going to be left unanswered for the rest of my life.

I can only say to others whos parents are still alive to cherish every moment with them and don't be the fool that I was by not asking questions.
 

redblood

Well-known member
My dad would be thrilled that a few liked his story but disappointed that I would have only one story to tell him.

Still being a Boro fan, he was well versed in disappointment as well as most on here.

Seriously, nobody has any good tales of their dad?
 

Jostler

Well-known member
Great story! It is true though, I met an Aussie lad, (big bearded guy) in a hostel in Austria a few years ago when doing a ski season and for about 4-5 weeks we drank together every day.

He always used to say we call our mates C*nts and c*nts mate! Always stuck with me!
 

redblood

Well-known member
It’s very hard to beat yours
Cheers mate, that's a lovely sentiment and would mean a lot to my dad as it does me.

I thought there would be many good stories that people would be happy to share.

I only just got up for a pee but had a quick peek on here as well but nothing. It's not yet 4am here in Oz, maybe by the time I get
up again in a few hours there may be a story or two. (y)
 

Laughing

Well-known member
You're not wrong there mate about dads being daft and best people in the world.

It's such a shame that my dad didn't settle in Australia like the rest of the family and we spent more time apart throughout our lives but I would
always ring him and visit him every couple of years or so and took him to as many Boro games as possible.

Whenever I rang him after a Boro game and said " Hi dad, how are you? he would always answer with " Eee son we ( Boro) were bloody awful
I'm pig sick, that's me done never again. Lol, Don't know how many times I heard that throughout my life.

We would chat for half an hour or so and after hanging up my wife would ask me how dad was. I always had to respond with I don't know we only
talked about the Boro. I only know that he's pig sick. 🤣
That's me and my dad. Every season he predicted us to go down. Never happy with boro, well he is bit only if he can moan.
 

Laughing

Well-known member
Here's my dad story. Just before my 18th birthday my dad took me to one side and said "son I am going to give you something every young man dreams off." I replied "what a ferari?" he said "no son your freedom, pack your bags and **** off."
 

redblood

Well-known member
Great story! It is true though, I met an Aussie lad, (big bearded guy) in a hostel in Austria a few years ago when doing a ski season and for about 4-5 weeks we drank together every day.

He always used to say we call our mates C*nts and c*nts mate! Always stuck with me!
It was a good lesson for my dad. He at least now started to understand the aussie sense of humour.

Years beforehand he learned another lesson and that was to never get on a camel ever again.
In 62 we set sail for Oz on the Strathmore. My dad was seasick from the very first day. When we arrived at the Suez canal, we were given the option to stay
onboard or to get off and visit the pyramids and meet up with the ship further down the canal. He couldn't wait to get of that ship and so off we went.

It was a surreal and scary scene for me being eight years old when the coach doors opened and being confronted by all these silvery haired and bearded old men
wearing what looked like their white linen bedsheets. Pushing and shoving each other in order to sell us a ride on their camels.
My dad was telling one that he didn't have much money and then he yelled out, come on love, to my mam. She yelled back, you must be joking if you think I'm
going to get on that and my sister shook her head. He looked at me and patted his knees, c'mon son.
Living in Redcar I had only ever seen cats, dogs and a hedgehog or two and shook my head too. C'mon son, it'll be fun. He doesn't want to go, leave him alone,
be off with you, my mam said.

My dad climbed on and the Arab man yelled out something to the camel and gave it a prod and another and finally started to whip it to bring it to it's feet.
It was snarling and spitting and even at that age, I knew that this wasn't going well. When it did get to it's feet it took off and all around there was a huge roar
of laughter and I started to cry as I watched in horror as my dad and camel were getting smaller and smaller.
My mam sidled up to me and said, it's alright son, your dads having the time of his life, look at him, he thinks he's Lawrence of Arabia.
Everyone around me thought it really funny but I thought better even though i didn't know who Lawrence was.

The Arab man took off after him and when he brought him back, my dad got on his knees and started to do something that I'd never seen him do before.
He started slapping the sand which everyone found hilarious except for me as I knew nothing about Allah or their way of praying at the time.

Suddenly I found that I wasn't crying anymore and that I was now feeling quite happy. My dad was being treated like a hero or maybe like Lawrence.
Everyone was crowding around my dad, slapping him on the back and shaking his hand and people telling him that he needn't go to Australia because
he could get himself a job here as a camel tour guide.
It seemed that everybody loved my dad and I was so proud that he was my dad.
Eventually when all the congratulations were over, I pleaded with him not to do that again.
He said, " You need never ever worry about that son, ever."
 

S7DiscoDown

Well-known member
I've one to add that happened last week😂. Although it's a bit harsh as my dad's 81.

He bought a 19 plate ford fiesta last week. It's his first new car after owning a golf for the last 10 years. So clearly 'in car technology' has moved on.

I've had various over the phone questions about tuning the digital radio etc. My god it's hard work😂

So I phoned him on Thursday aft and asked 'How's the car going?' fully expecting him to say it's amazing as it's a 19 plate. So I was suprised when he said 'I'm taking it back tomorrow as its got an engine fault'.

I asked what the issue could be. It didn't take me long to suss it out. He said 'everytime I stop the engine cuts out'. Obviously it was the start stop system😂😂😂. I am so glad he didn't go in all guns blazing into a ford dealership demanding his money back lol
 

redblood

Well-known member
I've one to add that happened last week😂. Although it's a bit harsh as my dad's 81.

He bought a 19 plate ford fiesta last week. It's his first new car after owning a golf for the last 10 years. So clearly 'in car technology' has moved on.

I've had various over the phone questions about tuning the digital radio etc. My god it's hard work😂

So I phoned him on Thursday aft and asked 'How's the car going?' fully expecting him to say it's amazing as it's a 19 plate. So I was suprised when he said 'I'm taking it back tomorrow as its got an engine fault'.

I asked what the issue could be. It didn't take me long to suss it out. He said 'everytime I stop the engine cuts out'. Obviously it was the start stop system😂😂😂. I am so glad he didn't go in all guns blazing into a ford dealership demanding his money back lol
I can just picture my dad taking the car back to the dealer and saying " Hey you, see that lemon you just sold me, well you can stick it where it fits, I want my money back.'
But sir, the cars designed to do that.
" Hey, I might look daft but don't you dare mistake me for a fool ' 🤣

The last time my dad visited me in Oz, I tried to talk him into buying a mobile phone.
I told him how we would be able to not only to talk to one another but we could also see each other as well as texting and sending photos.
" What through that ? " Yes dad, you wouldn't have to wait a week to get my letters or photos anymore.
I got my wife to take a photo of him and send it to me who was sitting next to him.
He looked impressed when the photo arrived within a second but then said. " Hang on Son, that photo has only come from a few yards away, how long would it take
to get to England?"🤣.
I knew that I shouldn't have laughed at his response as I knew full well that that would be the end of the conversation, and it was.🤣
 
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