Therapy.......

sadgit

sadgit

Well-known member
15 sessions in and wow who knew she could be so brutal. Exactly what I needed to hear. I still put every single person before me. I am amazing at giving advice but not at taking my own. Take note kids, you are actually a good person. Stop stop stop listening to that noise in your head, you are amazing..
 
sadgit said:
15 sessions in and wow who knew she could be so brutal. Exactly what I needed to hear. I still put every single person before me. I am amazing at giving advice but not at taking my own. Take note kids, you are actually a good person. Stop stop stop listening to that noise in your head, you are amazing..
Click to expand...
Got told the same thing when I had therapy, my therapist said I should become one. Still do it more than I should (putting everyone before me) but I have learnt now to say no etc....its weird how hard I find it to do so though
 
The importance of self care and positive affirmation were sadly neglected in past generations, we were supposed to be grateful for everything. Therapy taught me to appreciate the here and now and recognise thoughts for what they were…..just thoughts which I was in control of.
 
All of the childhood and adult traumas reside in the subconscious or the deeper mind, or whatever you want to call it. These then determine the feelings we attach to our present thoughts, the self-created narrative we play over in our minds that we attach to and causes us to be depressed. Find a way to know these thoughts for what they are and take no notice of them. Learn how to do that and then you are free. That's all that really matters. Hopefully therapy will teach how to do that.
 
I’m going through relationship counselling with my partner of 20 years. I’ve suffered through episodes of depression, but only now have I learnt my attachment style is somehow linked to my childhood. Through our 20 years I’ve been absolutely awful to her, never hurt her physically but only now am I realising how much pain I’ve put her through emotionally. Bordering on narcissistic, which I’ve never intended to be. It feels like it’s too late for our relationship now, but hope we can still parent our kids together somehow.

It’s been absolutely crazy and I struggle to find words for it. I almost wish I had one of them Men in Black things to erase it all and start again with her.
 
Juninhoburger said:
Took me around 20 sessions to finally realise that it was in fact, my incredibly toxic parents that were the problem, and that my childhood beatings by my dad were not my fault.

Since cutting them both out of my life I am so much happier.
Click to expand...
I've done the same, cut off my family I feel happier and so much sadness at the same time. I hear dad's who talk about their kids with pride and joy. Mine never did. Every time I shave, I think, i was never shown, I had to teach myself to do everything. I am a strong and better person because of them. I just want a dad. 52 and not a day goes by where I want a dad to give a ***** about me.
 
Eindhoven06 said:
I’m going through relationship counselling with my partner of 20 years. I’ve suffered through episodes of depression, but only now have I learnt my attachment style is somehow linked to my childhood. Through our 20 years I’ve been absolutely awful to her, never hurt her physically but only now am I realising how much pain I’ve put her through emotionally. Bordering on narcissistic, which I’ve never intended to be. It feels like it’s too late for our relationship now, but hope we can still parent our kids together somehow.

It’s been absolutely crazy and I struggle to find words for it. I almost wish I had one of them Men in Black things to erase it all and start again with her.
Click to expand...
I know that feeling. Never ever physical, but the emotional stress is something I cannot describe. So I understand that totally.
 
Mrs T and I decided that we needed a break to recover from the trauma we had suffered over Christmas. This trauma was responsible for deepening my depression amongst other things.
So here we are renting a beautiful cottage near Inverness. Nothing but trees and rivers around us. Fantastic scenery doing wonders for both of.
Yesterday we went on one of our walks through the woodland where our cottage is situated in. Our little ***** on his lead enjoying the walk as much as we were. further down the track we saw two white husky type dogs running full pelt towards us accompanied by a brown terrier type of thing. It was this dog that attacked our dog. Mrs T was screaming but she managed to prise the dogs jaws off our dogs snout. I managed to hold the terrier dog down but getting knocked over in the process landing awkwardly on my butt jarring my spine.. It was a powerful muscular dog and was really hard work holding him down. The dogs owner arrived , said "Sorry about that", picked up his dog and then started to berate his 8/9 year old son for letting him off the lead before walking away carrying the dog. In the melee Mrs T had been knocked down and she too had hurt her back.
By this time the mans wife appeared , apologised, asked if we were alright. I said "Why was the dog off the lead?" She replied "I never expected to see another dog round here."
At that the terrier reappeared and tried to attack our dog again but this time I was able to hold the dog down and she was able to get a lead on it. "She's a vicious dog" she said.
She apologised again , asked if we were Ok again. We said we were OK and we started to limp back to our cottage. I then realised that I had dropped my phone so went back to look for it- no phone to be found.
I called them all the the thieving bstds under the sun and when I got back to the cottage got onto the laptop to cancel my SIM cards etc.
A knock came on the door and Mrs T answered. It was the woman with my phone. Again she apologised and asked if we were OK. Mrs T thanked her and said we're fine. Our little pooch is none the worse for his experience either so all's well that ends well.
Well not quite- remember my post about not being able to find a brown ale? Well I found one on Saturday at a small shop in one of the villages that we stopped at on the way up here. It was a Tawny Brown Ale and I cannot remember the last time I saw one of them. Well when we were unloading the car Mrs T dropped it so I am brown aleless now.
I am drinking a bottle of Skye Red and a bottle of Ossian followed by a can or two of Tennants. (Yes I know it lowers) the tone but you can't come to Jockland and not have a Tennants.
It's been a long post but it helps me a lot.
 
I often feel like I should get therapy, but I'm not sure if it'll tell me anything I don't already know.

I have a fantastic family, great job, financially secure, but through moving around quite a bit I lack a friendship network like most people have. This causes such anxiety and loneliness it's untrue.

(This isn't a cry for help by the way, just more an confession! Someone else who has an issue that they wish would shift. I'm not sure I've actually contributed much to this thread though!!!)
 
I went for therapy once - CBT to be exact. At the end of it i felt no better, and in fact felt like I’d done nothing more than massage my therapist’s ego as she didn’t seem interested in anything i had to say and kept interrupting me to go off on long boring monologue’s about her own experiences. I left after several sessions feeling no better - to make matters worse the “therapist” was a mackem 😵‍💫 ah well 😳
 
I admire anyone who can go to therapy, it’s very brave.

Not something I’d dare do to be honest, if I opened that door fully in my mind I’m not sure I’d ever get it shut again 😬
 
northernrower said:
I often feel like I should get therapy, but I'm not sure if it'll tell me anything I don't already know.

I have a fantastic family, great job, financially secure, but through moving around quite a bit I lack a friendship network like most people have. This causes such anxiety and loneliness it's untrue.

(This isn't a cry for help by the way, just more an confession! Someone else who has an issue that they wish would shift. I'm not sure I've actually contributed much to this thread though!!!)
Click to expand...
Ditto. It's a killer at times.
 
sadgit said:
15 sessions in and wow who knew she could be so brutal. Exactly what I needed to hear. I still put every single person before me. I am amazing at giving advice but not at taking my own. Take note kids, you are actually a good person. Stop stop stop listening to that noise in your head, you are amazing..
Click to expand...
Did you go through private therapy and if so who? Asking for a friend obviously cos I'm a man. Grrr!
 
Last edited:
Yep, took lots of sessions to get me to realise my problems were mostly from the sense of abandonment cos the old man left when I was about 5 (after being fairly absent on and off for a long time before then).
It caused the end of my relationship which is why I got counselling as I was drinking and drugging myself to an early grave and didn't want my sons to go through what I did.
Funnily enough I think as a result I'm a pretty good dad as I was determined that they would always know me, where I am and that I'd always be there for them. I have great relationships with both my sons and now just really think it's a shame my old man didn't get to see any of this, but they were his decisions and I had nothing whatsoever to do with them, he was just a sad, man who was incapable of loving his kids.
Crap, dads don't realise how much long-term damage they are doing to their kids, particularly boys, by buggering off and not having anything to do with them, or by being a bloody violent pr*ck etc.
Oh, and one thing all the counselling did confirm is that I am indeed a prize tvvat...
 
northernrower said:
I often feel like I should get therapy, but I'm not sure if it'll tell me anything I don't already know.

I have a fantastic family, great job, financially secure, but through moving around quite a bit I lack a friendship network like most people have. This causes such anxiety and loneliness it's untrue.

(This isn't a cry for help by the way, just more an confession! Someone else who has an issue that they wish would shift. I'm not sure I've actually contributed much to this thread though!!!)
Click to expand...

I had 6 sessions of counselling and I'd say it didn't tell me anything I didn't already know, but it really helped to verbalise my thoughts, focus my thinking and put things into perspective. Think just being able to talk openly and honestly with someone completely neutral, without judgement, made a surprisingly big difference.

Made a big difference for me, but I honestly couldn't tell you anything in particular she did that helped. Mostly just sat, listened and asked the odd question 🤷
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top