The finality of death

Scubahood

Scubahood

Well-known member
Have you ever lied there, allowed your mind to delve too far into the subject (regrettably) and scared yourself sh**less? Possibly irreversibly? How does one navigate around the inevitability when these thoughts occur? The paradoxical nature of this makes it even more uncomfortable as I've often wished not to exist at all...
 
I used to worry as a kid, as death touched me a few times when quite young, but I have learned to make peace with the thought as I get older, surprisingly so really given the eventually inevitable circumstances.

I have luckily enjoyed life's roller-coaster in the main (still do), strangely, supporting the Boro has helped me cope with the thought, as it will release me from that particular area of constant nagging pain at least. Hopefully still lots of years to come mind and helping others always gives me a bigger sense of joy than doing something selfish.
 
I've managed to, once or twice in my life, clutched some kind of grasp on the finality of death. It takes a lot of deep though and the feeling it gave me was one of despair and sadness. So I dont often try to replicate it.
I dont believe there is any kind of afterlife. I'm more swayed toward the possibility that this is a simulation and even then I believe the chances are extremely small.

I cant really offer you any advice beyond what you probably already know....stay in the moment etc etc.....If you have the cognitive ability to think deeply into the reality of death...I mean, really, really think about it. You probably have the ability to think about how amazing it is that you are here in the first place. (y)
 
Centralscrutinizer said:
I'm quite happy that a load of recycled star dust managed to end up being me for a brief moment in the life of the Universe. More or less a miracle really, I'll take it while I can and try and make the most of it(y)
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appreciate it doesn't always feel that way to a lot of people but you've won the lottery just being here.

I was fine before I was alive and I imagine it will feel pretty similar afterwards.
 
My view is similar ( I attended a good friend's funeral today) .
After my death I expect to be where I was prior to my conception.
I see no reason to fear that.
Enjoy you life, try to help others enjoy theres and ease the burden on others.where you can
 
Anniversaries (is that the right word?) can be difficult. Mam, Dad and a brother who was only 13 when he passed. It crushed my parents and my Dad died at 56 and I'll always think it was because his heart was broken. So when I reached 56 last year it was an extremely poignant time for me. I'd like another 20 years if I can get it.
 
Seen quite a few friends die young, one very young, life is a blessing, try not to sweat the small stuff, it's something non of us can escape...I've sort of made peace with it but when I was young kid it plagued me for a while how everyone was going to die and what is the point to all this?
 
Larkin captured it best I think.

Aubade
I work all day, and get half-drunk at night.
Waking at four to soundless dark, I stare.
In time the curtain-edges will grow light.
Till then I see what’s really always there:
Unresting death, a whole day nearer now,
Making all thought impossible but how
And where and when I shall myself die.
Arid interrogation: yet the dread
Of dying, and being dead,
Flashes afresh to hold and horrify.

The mind blanks at the glare. Not in remorse
—The good not done, the love not given, time
Torn off unused—nor wretchedly because
An only life can take so long to climb
Clear of its wrong beginnings, and may never;
But at the total emptiness for ever,
The sure extinction that we travel to
And shall be lost in always. Not to be here,
Not to be anywhere,
And soon; nothing more terrible, nothing more true.

This is a special way of being afraid
No trick dispels. Religion used to try,
That vast moth-eaten musical brocade
Created to pretend we never die,
And specious stuff that says No rational being
Can fear a thing it will not feel, not seeing
That this is what we fear—no sight, no sound,
No touch or taste or smell, nothing to think with,
Nothing to love or link with,
The anaesthetic from which none come round.

And so it stays just on the edge of vision,
A small unfocused blur, a standing chill
That slows each impulse down to indecision.
Most things may never happen: this one will,
And realisation of it rages out
In furnace-fear when we are caught without
People or drink. Courage is no good:
It means not scaring others. Being brave
Lets no one off the grave.
Death is no different whined at than withstood.

Slowly light strengthens, and the room takes shape.
It stands plain as a wardrobe, what we know,
Have always known, know that we can’t escape,
Yet can’t accept. One side will have to go.
Meanwhile telephones crouch, getting ready to ring
In locked-up offices, and all the uncaring
Intricate rented world begins to rouse.
The sky is white as clay, with no sun.
Work has to be done.
Postmen like doctors go from house to house.
 
I checked out briefly about 25 years ago in A&E - a good place to do it.
I only really remember coming back. I was deeply sleeping, warm and reluctant to wake up. Seem to have been quite happy where I was.

No point worrying. We are all going to drop off the perch one day. Of course the pain of losing loved ones is forever deep and underlying. Tougher for the living than those at rest.
 
Scubahood said:
Have you ever lied there, allowed your mind to delve too far into the subject (regrettably) and scared yourself sh**less? Possibly irreversibly? How does one navigate around the inevitability when these thoughts occur? The paradoxical nature of this makes it even more uncomfortable as I've often wished not to exist at all...
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Yes, in April 14th 2018, I collapsed on Shepherdson Way after a game , my heart just stopped due to my aortic valve being defective from birth,I played football until 50 years old, I didnt know this defect until then.

I didnt have a heart attack - it just stopped and it went into backflow. I fell and cracked my head above the eyebrow on the big kerbs there, and had another gash along the eyebrow.
I was dead for a few minutes according to the consultant (they can read your blood dont ya know), I was totally blue, sons and my friends were thinking that was it.
I remember it being very dark and cold and I could hear what I thought later was a radio playing that seemed miles away. In my head I looked around and thought of who I was and then looked in the darkness for my hands and feet.
Nothing!
So I set off, or so I thought (about 1 hour later try to recollect things in hospital) I aimed in the darkness for a very faint noise , very unsure of what it was and it was very dark. Bit by bit the noise grew a little bit louder I could hear water rushing around and then saw light like a dot but it was moving around, and then a bit like a train heading towards me I heard sound and the light turned back on and I could hear myself spluttering.

When I was in the ambulance, I couldn't see properly just a bright light but nothing else. I talked to me 2nd eldest son who has always been fantastic and was obviously in a situation with me.
Then I had an immense sense of well being and thought I'm not going to make this, but I've enjoyed everything in my life, its been a ball, I thought of all kinds in my life - My wife ,kids Grand Kids, Friends ,Parents, Family, Id had an fantastic life and was feeling grateful that I had knew them all.

A little lass in A&E, who I probably will never meet again got me through it all and even cracked jokes and although I thought this was it I had a chuckle in my mind, I could never thank her enough, but I suppose she does that everyday as a fantastic human. The same goes for my son. I had the heart replacement valve done after a week repairing my head injuries, 3 & 1/2hour op, no lungs or heart obviously, just a machine.
I was home after another 10 days.

Ward 32 JCUH got me through it all.

I was then diagnosed with Lung Cancer in Feb 2023.
NHS and Ward 32 and JCUH and NTUH to the rescue again, April 23 I had 60% of my left lung removed and Chemo finished the September. I was back at work in Nov 2023.
Again, I'm blessed and lucky to have people in my life that are priceless and I appreciate the whole shebang, the planet the universe, the plants especially the flowers.
I'm really glad I'm here, and felt life for what it is, not drugged up not drunk as a skunk, just feeling the highs and lows, because that's what happens in life.

You only get one go as they say , and when you look around there's to many people desperately fighting to cling on everyday, especially kiddies.

You have been involved in life for a long time now Scuba and you aren't noticing the good that you are and what's around you mate. Sure its easy to look on the downside, but the bloody ordinary is so fantastic.

I'm not scared of death, but there's still stacks of cups of tea to be drunk yet, plenty of music to listen too, family friends and acquaintances to be around. This cold dark place didnt seem to have any big TV`s

My final thought sometimes before sleep is, we are spinning on a planet 1000mph full of all kinds lifeforms, going around the sun at 65,000 mph, travelling with all the other good rocks and stupid pointless ones in a universe at 1 million mph, and there's no sign of the driver.
 
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