Scotland bans smacking of children

When I was at school corporal punishment was very much the norm. If it was such a great deterrent why was it the same people again and again who were caned or slippered?

We even used to keep a league table.

And it wasn't even as if the "Whackers" kept the best discipline either. There were other teachers who never hit anybody and never had any problems at all.

I'm sure it's the same with parents.
 
blinkbonny said:
When I was at school corporal punishment was very much the norm. If it was such a great deterrent why was it the same people again and again who were caned or slippered?

We even used to keep a league table.

And it wasn't even as if the "Whackers" kept the best discipline either. There were other teachers who never hit anybody and never had any problems at all.

I'm sure it's the same with parents.
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Getting the cane or slipper was actually seen as a badge of honour, a right of passage if you will, I doubt anyone saw it as child abuse, now a ruler of the knuckles, that did nack.
 
The ‘it never did me any harm’ defence is an interesting one

What I think they are saying is - despite being smacked I’ve done ok/good etc.
Couple of things to think about
If one of your parents was a smack head and you ended up ok despite that would you advocate parents and drug abuse?
If you hadn’t been smacked do you think it would have hindered you
 
1finny said:
The ‘it never did me any harm’ defence is an interesting one

What I think they are saying is - despite being smacked I’ve done ok/good etc.
Couple of things to think about
If one of your parents was a smack head and you ended up ok despite that would you advocate parents and drug abuse?
If you hadn’t been smacked do you think it would have hindered you
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I actually think the lack of discipline to the point of apathy and disinterest, out of sight out of mind parenting, is a bigger contributor to unruly behaviour than any corporal punishment ever was.
 
the_holgate_roof said:
I actually think the lack of discipline to the point of apathy and disinterest, out of sight out of mind parenting, is a bigger contributor to unruly behaviour than any corporal punishment ever was.
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I think that’s it in a nutshell. Take the easy option and whack them
 
1finny said:
The ‘it never did me any harm’ defence is an interesting one

What I think they are saying is - despite being smacked I’ve done ok/good etc.
Couple of things to think about
If one of your parents was a smack head and you ended up ok despite that would you advocate parents and drug abuse?
If you hadn’t been smacked do you think it would have hindered you
Click to expand...

I think you seem to be mixing up what is illegal in law and what isn’t. As for the “never done me any harm“ or “I’ve done ok” comments, has anyone mentioning that advocated the use of corporal punishment or smacking? I would hate for casual observers of the thread to interpret individual posts like a Trump convention might.
 
coluka said:
I think you seem to be mixing up what is allowed in law and what isn’t. As for the “never done me any harm“ or “I’ve done ok” comments, has anyone mentioning that advocated the use of corporal punishment or smacking? I would hate for casual observers of the thread to interpret individual posts like a Trump convention might.
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I’m not mixing anything up
I’m simply saying violence towards children by parents or anyone else is barbaric in a so called modern society.
Whether it is legal or not is irrelevant to me.
If you want to draw a distinction between a ‘tap’ and a ‘smack’ fair enough but I don’t agree.


Some defend smacking by saying ‘it done me no harm’ - that was the point I was addressing.
 
My dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat me and my mother! Strangely left my 2 sisters alone. Never did me any harm... Oh hang on a minute, I scrapped at the drop of a hat until I was about 30 years old, probably because I was brought up in an atmosphere of violence. So maybe it did do me some harm. It is incredibly difficult to self analyse and conclude what in our upbringing had the biggest and most profound impact.
 
1finny said:
I think that’s it in a nutshell. Take the easy option and whack them
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I agree with this I tried to relay this around time out takes more patience but it better. As they get older you take things away which will work as a better deterrent. Would I see someone rapping a child on the wrist as a child abuser, no I wouldn’t.
 
GazC_MFC said:
I agree with this I tried to relay this around time out takes more patience but it better. As they get older you take things away which will work as a better deterrent. Would I see someone rapping a child on the wrist as a child abuser, no I wouldn’t.
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Yes - agree its a fine line.
 
1finny said:
I’m not mixing anything up
I’m simply saying violence towards children by parents or anyone else is barbaric in a so called modern society.
Whether it is legal or not is irrelevant to me.
If you want to draw a distinction between a ‘tap’ and a ‘smack’ fair enough but I don’t agree.


Some defend smacking by saying ‘it done me no harm’ - that was the point I was addressing.
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You introduced the concept of whether anyone might see the illegal use of drug abuse and parenting as potentially acceptable.

The law draws a distinction between different levels of abuse and violence, age also falls in the mix as does vulnerability, neither is right or acceptable. The levels of punishment in law vary, so a distinction is drawn by our societies accepted norms as things stand.
 
Laughing said:
My dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat me and my mother! Strangely left my 2 sisters alone. Never did me any harm... Oh hang on a minute, I scrapped at the drop of a hat until I was about 30 years old, probably because I was brought up in an atmosphere of violence. So maybe it did do me some harm. It is incredibly difficult to self analyse and conclude what in our upbringing had the biggest and most profound impact.
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Sorry to hear about that, and this is it, your story relates to extreme violence, that had a negative effect, but you hear stories, going exactly the opposite, children growing up with violence, not wanting to replicate what happened to them and being absolutely against any form of violence, it is complex and every circumstance is unique.
 
I was smacked when I was young, buts it’s definitely not something I’d ever do to my son.

I get the on fine with my parents, and look forward to seeing them, but I’ve never been particularly close in the way my fiancé is with hers. I wonder if that contributes to it?

I learnt from my sister about time out on the naughty step when she used to send my nieces there when they were younger.

My missus also thinks she’s Pachamama so I have a feeling there will be a lot of sitting for time out with plenty of thinking about their actions.
 
Jostler said:
I was smacked when I was young, buts it’s definitely not something I’d ever do to my son.

learnt from my sister about time out on the naughty step when she used to send my nieces there when they were younger.

My missus also thinks she’s Pachamama so I have a feeling there will be a lot of sitting for time out with plenty of thinking about their actions.
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The naughty step is great for younger kids, I agree, but keeping them there as they get older is much, much more difficult, especially in modern concrete buildings, nailing their feet to the floor can be much more problematic as nails are not what they used to be.
 
My dad once gave me a dead arm when I was a teenager for calling my mum by her first name and telling her where to go in some unsavoury terms.

Whilst I was never disrespectful to my mum ever again I did resent my dad for a few months afterwards and we both hashed it out and both apologized.

My dad was from the era of the cane or yardstick so didn't know any better but people these days do.

No excuse for it now. Not one.
 
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the_holgate_roof said:
As mentioned, parents need to exercise self control when using discipline, you see parents screaming and swearing at very young children, like ‘get ‘ere or I’ll bray yer, yer little ****’ but there is also another extreme where kids are left to run wild with no discipline and actually a total lack of interest from the parent, the good approach is to use discipline when required , children do need to know boundaries, right and wrong, respect, I personally don’t think corporal punishment hindered, I am not scarred by it, I don’t have horrific flashbacks but I suppose we live in a different world now.
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Surely you're not the one to judge whether you're scarred or not. That's up to others who experience your behaviour.

Violence breeds violence, being disrespected breeds disrespect (UK being a prime example).

Smacking is violent behaviour, it's assault, it's as simple as that.
 
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