We’re off to North Shields for fish & chips,
We’ll stand on the quay looking out at the ships.
We’ll buy a dressed crab with T-shirt and boots,
Then return back to Teesside with our Geordie loot.
I am also going to Axminster Tools but that doesn't rhyme.
There was an old man from Harrow,
who tried to have sex with a sparrow,
the sparrow said “No,
you can’t have a go,
as the hole in my årse is too narrow.
There once was an old man called Dave,
Who dug up a prostitutes grave,
She was mouldy as s**t,
And was missing a t!t,
But, hey, think of the money he’d save!
There’s a guy on here called Nobby
Whose posts can be viewed as being stroppy,
He tries to be smart,
But fails, bless his heart,
His English? That’s just plain sloppy!
There was a young man from Brighton
Who said to his girl, "you've a tight un"
She replied "bless my soul,
You're in the wrong hole,
There's plenty of room in the right un"
Another long post about Brexit
So I think that I'll make a quick exit
Some friendly debate
But it's not long to wait
Until Smalltown joins in and just wrecks it
A young sperm, alack and forsooth
At the moment of sexual truth
Had hoped to fall
On the womb's spongy wall
But was dashed to it’s death on a tooth!
Two young ladies from north of the town
Made sixty-nine love on the ground
Their unbridled lust
Leaked out in the dust
And made so much mud that they drowned.
There was a young lady from Bude,
Who went for a swim in the lake,
When a man in a punt,
Stuck his pole in her ear,
And said, "You can't swim here, it's private!"
There was a prime minister from Eton
Who thought that he could not be beaten
He was ambushed by cake
He was clearly on the take
He was loved by the voters of Seaton
T'was a poster whose name rhymes with clown
Who did cause many to frown
He'd argue black's white
And sometimes spout sh*te.
I hope his internet's down.
There's one poster on here who's called Nobby
And he's always annoying and gobby
He does rude things with birds that are really absurd
Think he really should get a new hobby
Goalscrounger was lockdown's star
With his musical lists from afar
Songs were great in the main
It helped keep us all sane
While we couldn't go to a bar.
There's one poster on here who's called Nobby
And he's always annoying and gobby
He does rude things with birds that are really absurd
Think he really should get a new hobby
There's a man with a bum for a face,
Whose posts here can be a disgrace,
Beer, sex, depravity, sometimes bestiality,
But his knowledge of cinema's ace.