Names for your work colleagues….

Not Mine but Jonny Vaughan does a quest for the best nickname and the only couple I can remember, Lad on a football team was called "The fireman" because most of his touches put the ball out and one office where two brothers ran the health and safety department and they were known as the Dukes of Hazzards
 
We had a bloke called Logic, because he looked a bit like Mr Logic from Viz. All good humoured.

Unfortunately, I was at Blackburn for a Boro game and he was stood on the terraces about ten yards in front of me with his non-work mates. "Logic.....Logic...(no response)...LOGIC....LOOOOGGGGGICCCC!". Finally he turns round, and gives a sheepish wave. You could see the light bulbs going off above his mates heads and they started ******* themselves laughing. Sorry Logic.

I learnt a mate of mine got the name Plank from his rigger colleagues, for obvious reasons.
 
Our workplace has accumulated some really incapable managers (about 20% of the population).

A few of them in particular are absolutely clueless and can’t follow basic instructions or retain any knowledge so we’re constantly fixing their mess and BS.

Unfortunately this can happen in Companies where people land jobs through longevity rather than talent.

Thick C*** 1, 2, 3, 4 and so on.

Not very creative but very accurate!
 
We had a lad we called moustache, not for any facial fur but because he used to appear at your desk, chat for a bit then say ‘must dash, must dash’. But he was only dashing to another desk for another chat, not to do any actual work.

We also had an engineer we called ‘Hammer house of horror’. I rang the office once and asked them to put me through to Hammer house of horror and the secretary put me through to my wife 😂 my wife was her boss 🙈
 
Joe Metro, turned up first day in a Mini Metro. Still known as that.

Davie Dog$hit stood in some dog venom on the way to work, day he started.

Terry No Beard. We had 2 Terry`s one with a beard and one without, so he got Terry No beard

Jimmy the pig, a pipe fitter. Most nights cooked 2 ham shanks in a huge pan, it simmered away most of the night at SBCO on a shutdown, scoffed the lot. He inherited a lot of land worth millions apparently, he later bought a survey boat, hired a engineer, lived on the boat and took parties to sea....or so I heard.
 
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Breaks, who had massive breaks on his trousers.

Negative breaks, who had really short trousers due to his multiple turn ups

Trousers, who wears ridiculously baggy trousers

My work is nothing to do with trousers BTW.
 
There was a lad on the opposite shift to me about 20 years ago who used to get called shotgun at his previous job (double barrel name) so he tried to carry that on to his new job with us on the other shift. I thought that was quite a good nickname, and you could tell he loved it, but the opposite shift were brutal and it's not common to keep a nickname you like.

Anyway, he had only been there about 6 months before they had him in a strip club abroad and someone whipped his pants down, and thus "shotgun" became "sawn off", poor lad 😆
 
Used to work with a bloke we called "One Dip"

Was called Richard Thompson but he insisted on being called "Rich T"

So we called him "One Dip" because you only get one dip out of a rich tea.
I love it when people are insistent on their nicknames and people go out of their way to ensure they're changed 😆
 
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