Elderly people going into care homes financial question

gregorgregorovich said:
Don't pay a solicitor to set up Power of Attorney, do it yourself online. It's fairly easy, just take your time and double check everything you do.
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Yes we did this, both financial and medical POA. It’s a bit of a mess on with lots of signatures needed, and how these are dated (in order) is important, but it’s something you can do.
 
r00fie1 said:
Good luck TC.

We had a hell of a job with Adult Social Care, fighting to prove my Mam needed full-time care after 10 years in and out of care homes - due to her medical condition.
As my relative was providing unpaid care after work and at weekends, it was deemed Mam had a "care provider" and did not require residential care. My relative had three daughters under 18 and a full time job at the time and lived 12 miles away. In the end, Mam required daily intimate personal care, including washing, bathing, change of bedding and washing clothes, daily changing of pads and dispensed medication. It took us two years of battle with the local Elderly Adult Social Work Department to assess that she needed fullt time care and that our "assessment" was not a "knee-jerk reaction". In the end, we had to look for a care-home, with adequate provision of 24-hour care, before Adult Social Care got off their arzes. Eventually Mam died in care during covid and we werent allowed to say a propper "goodbye".

Incidentally, my Dad died of advanced stage dementia, but thats another story.
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I’m sorry to read that. It’s a very distressing situation - awful.
 
Norman_Conquest said:
I've just spoken to the wife and most points have already been covered by Indeedio, Redwurzel and others on this thread. The mother in law had been living with us for over 20 years prior to having to go into a home and they wanted to know where the money had gone that she had sold her house for and looked into other savings she had. Have an idea of the homes or standard of homes you would like your loved one to go in. Social Services will also give you a list of homes that they deem suitable, you will need to do your homework on these and don't be afraid to ask here if people have any information (good or bad) about them. You need to know that your loved one is being cared for and it will allow you to settle. You will question if you are doing/have done the right thing and the answer is yes.

It is a difficult time you are about to set out on and I certainly don't envy you it. Make sure you take time for yourself and don't be harsh on yourself for the decision you have made. Talk to others who have been through this process, it may help you to know that what you’re feeling is normal and to hear from others about how they dealt with this difficult situation.
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Just about to start this very same process. We have a social worker and some daily care in place, but my poor Mother In Law has started to become endlessly fearful of everything around her.
 
Tc we are going through a similar thing now. My dad has dementia and alziemers. We organised a social worker to come and assess his ability to live on his own. Thankfully for the moment he can care for himself so he has deffered the full time care, or care home.

It's extremely stressful for everyone involved. Best wishes to you all
 
Billy Horner said:
Just so the OP is clear, even if the person in question only has capital/savings below the £23k threshold, everybody has to contribute what they can afford to from their income towards the cost of residential care. For older people, this would generally involve their state pension and any private pension income. The Council are only allowed to disregard about £28 per week for personal expenses.
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Just to clarify, when you say "everybody has to contribute what they can afford" it could be misinterpreted as the rest of the family, which is not the case or certainly wasn't when I went through this a few years ago now.

My mother lived in rented accommodation and had little capital. All of her assets from her bank accounts were taken and her state and occupational pensions were paid directly into the account of some SS department (I forget which). She was then given 'pocket money' as we called it to cover living costs in the care home. This suited us perfectly as her pensions did not cover the cost of the care home.
 
pierrequiroule said:
My mother lived in rented accommodation and had little capital. All of her assets from her bank accounts were taken and her state and occupational pensions were paid directly into the account of some SS department (I forget which). She was then given 'pocket money' as we called it to cover living costs in the care home. This suited us perfectly as her pensions did not cover the cost of the care home.
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My mother in law was treated exactly the same with her given an allowance to buy bits in the home.

What I would also say to anyone who is going through this is to label all their clothes - this allows the staff to put the correct clothes in the right person's wardrobe, and put sticky labels on their deodorants, shampoos, etc. as they will go missing. You might think this is OTT but when you are having to replace the latter every time you go up, it can become expensive.

At present, we are all pulling together and also have cleaners go into my dads to prevent him from going into a home. We all know we have it coming and are dreading the day. He was 88 yesterday and his great grandkids had him dressed up in one of those blow up humpa lumpa suits.
 
Redwurzel said:
Redcar and Cleveland Social Services have a scheme where they will physically pay most of the care fees, but these amounts go on a tab to be paid when the elderly person passes away. That way relatives living away can visit and stay at the house. The interest charge was only 1% per annum, will be a bit higher now but still low. Other councils may have a similar scheme. They are usually called deferment schemes.
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Good to know, thanks Redwurzel. I'm heading into the same position and live a 6 hour round trip away. It would make getting her washing done an impossibility.
 
Norman_Conquest said:
My mother in law was treated exactly the same with her given an allowance to buy bits in the home.

What I would also say to anyone who is going through this is to label all their clothes - this allows the staff to put the correct clothes in the right person's wardrobe, and put sticky labels on their deodorants, shampoos, etc. as they will go missing. You might think this is OTT but when you are having to replace the latter every time you go up, it can become expensive.

At present, we are all pulling together and also have cleaners go into my dads to prevent him from going into a home. We all know we have it coming and are dreading the day. He was 88 yesterday and his great grandkids had him dressed up in one of those blow up humpa lumpa suits.
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My dad turns 89 in a month Norman, in very similar situation to you. We suggested a home help for my dad to keep him independent, but he just won't do it. Hopefully he will change his mind. He keeps himself and the house clean for the minute, but it could be so much easier for him, and he is in the fortunate position to be able to afford it.
 
pierrequiroule said:
Just to clarify, when you say "everybody has to contribute what they can afford" it could be misinterpreted as the rest of the family, which is not the case or certainly wasn't when I went through this a few years ago now.

My mother lived in rented accommodation and had little capital. All of her assets from her bank accounts were taken and her state and occupational pensions were paid directly into the account of some SS department (I forget which). She was then given 'pocket money' as we called it to cover living costs in the care home. This suited us perfectly as her pensions did not cover the cost of the care home.
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Yes, correct. I meant that the individual themselves has to contribute what they can afford, not extended family members.
 
Norman_Conquest said:
What I would also say to anyone who is going through this is to label all their clothes - this allows the staff to put the correct clothes in the right person's wardrobe, and put sticky labels on their deodorants, shampoos, etc. as they will go missing. You might think this is OTT but when you are having to replace the latter every time you go up, it can become expensive.
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That's a good tip Norman. I'd forgotten that we ended up doing the same after losing quite a few items of clothing in the first months.
 
TeessideCleveland said:
If an elderly person cannot look after themselves due to dementia and does not have money to fund care at home do they have to contact social services , or can they look at care homes and discuss with them first?
Was hoping someone with experience of this might be able to give me a bit of a pointer which way to start, as this situation has been sprung on me rather suddenly - and is a bit upsetting

Any advice would be gratefully received


EDIT She owns her home and had paid for care there, but her funds are getting low. She has no assets apart from the house
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Get in touch with your council social services,there will assess her,we have been through it,it can be daunting and upsetting but the social worker that we had was very good, also make some appointments with a few care homes as the care is different in each one,and if possible speak to relatives of the people in there.
 
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