Big_Nothing
Well-known member
This might sound a little silly to some of the less cat friendly members of the board, I know a few people on here can't stand them but c'est la vie.
However, last week my partner and I's cat died. I had a pretty strong bond with the cat, he followed me everywhere at our place, slept next to me, even copying me sometimes and provided comfort to me during tough times (was very good at realising when people were upset, almost seemed like he was a therapy cat). Generally I just loved the little guy to pieces.
He was only four years old and in the night he had started purring loudly and kneading on my back, this woke my girlfriend up and she pushed him away from me thinking he would disturb me in the early hours.
The next thing I know she's shouting at me to turn on the light and help her. I was barely awake and had no idea what was going on (heavy sleeper) and when I turned the light on it became clear the cat was struggling quite badly. We still don't know what happened but it seemed like he was choking, he was making unusual and unsettling sounds and in severe discomfort.
I tried to clear his airways but they were already clear and I could feel him shaking quite hard, I tried calming him but he looked at me like he was petrified, huge blue eyes and eventually I was giving him attempted CPR as his heart stopped. The whole time my girlfriend was screaming and panicking, begging me to save him and for him to be okay.
She's had him since a kitten and absolutely worships the ground he walks on, he was there for her during her divorce and playing with him is the highlight of her day.
We rushed him to an emergency vet who said they couldn't do anything and he was already passed.
The issue is, I've been having recurrent flashbacks in my dreams and throughout the day when my mind wanders of him struggling and my partner screaming and crying. I feel tremendous guilt for not being able to save him and I miss him dearly, our place feels empty without him.
I'm not saying it's PTSD or trying to be dramatic, apologies if it seems so. I just wondered if anyone had gone through something similarly distressing and had similar reactions or advice in how to process it?
Cheers all, hard to write this but conversations with friends have mostly just been condolences and a lack of a F about cats given.
However, last week my partner and I's cat died. I had a pretty strong bond with the cat, he followed me everywhere at our place, slept next to me, even copying me sometimes and provided comfort to me during tough times (was very good at realising when people were upset, almost seemed like he was a therapy cat). Generally I just loved the little guy to pieces.
He was only four years old and in the night he had started purring loudly and kneading on my back, this woke my girlfriend up and she pushed him away from me thinking he would disturb me in the early hours.
The next thing I know she's shouting at me to turn on the light and help her. I was barely awake and had no idea what was going on (heavy sleeper) and when I turned the light on it became clear the cat was struggling quite badly. We still don't know what happened but it seemed like he was choking, he was making unusual and unsettling sounds and in severe discomfort.
I tried to clear his airways but they were already clear and I could feel him shaking quite hard, I tried calming him but he looked at me like he was petrified, huge blue eyes and eventually I was giving him attempted CPR as his heart stopped. The whole time my girlfriend was screaming and panicking, begging me to save him and for him to be okay.
She's had him since a kitten and absolutely worships the ground he walks on, he was there for her during her divorce and playing with him is the highlight of her day.
We rushed him to an emergency vet who said they couldn't do anything and he was already passed.
The issue is, I've been having recurrent flashbacks in my dreams and throughout the day when my mind wanders of him struggling and my partner screaming and crying. I feel tremendous guilt for not being able to save him and I miss him dearly, our place feels empty without him.
I'm not saying it's PTSD or trying to be dramatic, apologies if it seems so. I just wondered if anyone had gone through something similarly distressing and had similar reactions or advice in how to process it?
Cheers all, hard to write this but conversations with friends have mostly just been condolences and a lack of a F about cats given.