I have been a Middlesbrough supporter all my life.
I remember being really small and asking my Nanna where my Dad was, she told me he was at the barrow, that’s what I thought she said, I was none the wiser. Later, although not much later, he took me to Ayresome park. I remember him sitting me on a crash barrier, I didn’t know what it was but was terrified, he said ‘you can’t fall son, there’s nothing to stop you’. I remember a bloke in a crombie coat stood behind us, he was red faced, I’d never seen anyone looks so annoyed, well apart from my mam, another theme from my childhood, another story. Anyway, this bloke was shouting, spit was fly out of his mouth ‘dirty Barnsley, dirty fvcking Barnsley, filthy cvnts’ at the top of his voice, words id never heard, my dad is old school, despite being a ‘proper bloke’ never swears in front of women and kid. He said ‘ignore him son, he’s upset, you’ll understand one day’ So, essentially it’s all his fault and I both love and hate him for it at the same time!
I didn’t fall in love with the Boro straight away, I remember being bored, I loved Star Wars, science fiction, reading and drawing, I think I’ve always essentially been a loner, despite having friends, then all of a sudden, it happened. At first I was bored but got to be with my dad, as a lad, that’s all you ever want I think, being with the old man, I adored him and went because I think it made him happy, it was all he ever talked about.
At some point something happened, it was the crowd at first, the noise, the roar when the team surged forward, seeing the tickets being torn and thrown in the air, it made the hair stand up on the back of my neck, still does. I felt part of something, I belong to something, something bigger than myself, I read about people finding God, what they write about their feelings is similar I think, I’m not exaggerating, I still feel it, still feel that feeling coursing through my veins when I’m there.
I go whenever I can, I work shifts, I’m a dad, a grandad so sometimes have to do other things. Everything was replaced, all the things I was interested in before faded away, my heroes were Mogga, The Wolfman, Ripley, Pears, Hamilton, that team are the one that spring to mind when I think about us. The Boro are still a true love, I’ve grown up a bit, at one time I’d desperately wait for the sports gazette after any match, I’d be morose if we got beat, true despair, id avoid the television I’d be like a hermit, then I’d read the newspaper and match reports, like a car crash, horrific but still have to stare. I’d go to the match with by Dad, brother, the great JC (my uncle and head of the family), cousins male and female, I’ve taken my own kids two girls, it didn’t grab them, their still supporters( or so they tell me) my grandson, I have high hopes for him, plus I don’t see why he should get away with it, I didn’t.
I’ve seen highs and lows, good players, average players and some poor ones, I’ve seen enough to know you can’t write them off after 10 games.
I’m an eternal optimist, I always believe things can get better, mind you I’m 47 and still believe I’m destined for greatness, will be a millionaire or socialist revolutionary, I’m not off on a tangent, o think it just helps people who read what I write understand my mindset and why I jump on people who constantly slate the Boro, something I love.
On this thread I’ve seen someone post about our potential, I agree. I also think we are absolutely unique, other clubs supporters believe this about their team, they are wrong. We are special, we’ve won effectively nothing when compared to others, yet, we have a large fan base, the previous poster said 34000, I think the potential is even greater than that, there’s no other club like that in this country. Things aren’t great at the moment but I think they’ll get better. We can’t buy success, we haven’t got the resources, the club is going down another route and it’ll take time, it might not happen quickly, I understand frustration but think some of the stuff on here indicates that some of us just like to slate things, they’re probably the same, or have the same mindset towards a lot of things on their life. Some appear only when things are going wrong, you don’t see any posts from them when things are going well.
Football is ****ed in this country, greed has consumed it and it isn’t and never will be the same. It has made dreaming futile and made lasting success a closed shop. The gap between the chosen few and the rest is widening and has been engineered and enabled by the media and the games governing bodies. To use our neighbours up the road as an example, after concerns about the takeover, all of a sudden it was ok, it was allowed to happen, actively encouraged by figures in the government, who obviously based on the evidence are all for greed. They also enjoy selling weapons to the Saudis and probably don’t want to jeopardise that. It seems that some of our supporters want something to similar, if that happens to the Boro, it will be a divorce on my part.
All this Gibson out, Carrick out stuff ***** me off.
Things will get better.
