A weakness of Vlad the Impaler

Lemmy_kilmister

Lemmy_kilmister

Well-known member
Was to shout out at men: "Hello Sailor!"
In far Transylvania
He'd indulge in his mania,
And dress up as Elizabeth Taylor
 
There's something about oregano
That prevents you from singing soprano.
To hit a top C,
Take this tip from me,
Wear a truss made of rusty Meccano.
 
I've read some books about Vlad the Impaler. He didn't mess about. The passing of 550 years seems to desensitise what he did in some ways but he conducted a reign of terror which would put Stalin, Hitler and Co to shame. At the same time he protected Europe from the Ottoman Empire, for which every European government was (or should have been) grateful. One typical story -

When diplomatic envoys had an audience with Vlad in 1459, the diplomats declined to remove their hats as a mark of respect to Vlad, citing a religious custom. Commending them on their religious devotion, Vlad ensured that their hats would forever remain on their heads by having the hats nailed to the diplomats' skulls.
 
A habit of Vasco da Gama's
Was to tear off the first mate's pyjamas.
Then he'd wave them about
And give a great shout:
"I wish you were here, Judith Chalmers!"
 
I once had a blind date with Cilla.
I took her to watch Aston Villa.
She sang to the crowd,
And she sang very loud
And that's why they threatened to kill her.
 
Jaspers said:
Objectivity
Has a proclivity
To numb morality
Resulting in universal fatality.
 
Saw this girl at the Henley Regatta,
Enjoying champagne and a natter.
I said: "Pardon me
Aren't you Rusty Lee?"
She said: "No, I am Jomo Kenyatta."
 
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