When the morning news programs first started selina was a big star.
She flew offshore to do a live piece on one of the rigs but the weather closed in and she couldn't get off.
So they put her up overnight in an en-suite cabin and she got off the day
The Bears auctioned the pubes left in the shower and they made a decent lump for charity
True dat.
My eye was suddenly taken by
a vision of beauty, sent down from on high,
she dressed in the colours of emeralds and stones,
far our of the reach of us wannabeknowns,
But just when I felt she was outside my sphere,
I heard that bychance I could covet her near,
My Illgotten gains were burning a hole,
and some blaggards offshore, somthin* precious had stole
A price was agreed and Selina was mine,
her personal silk, recovered…entwined
And now, my waistcoat, so vibrant and fair,
crafted by my own hand from her lost pubic hair