El Guapo
Well-known member
Having supported/ watched us since the days of John Neal in the late 70s early 80s I’ve seen both the highs and the lows. From the tear filled shattering of the dream at Molyneux in 81 and the despair of May 86 and the summer of hell that followed to the breathless euphoria of Massimo’s header and the tears of pride as Sir Gareth of Gate lifted our only major trophy I think I’ve about seen and experienced it all. What a journey of emotion that shaped and dictated my life. Over the last few years 2009 onwards from the ludicrous appointment of Strachan I’ve slipped slowly through frustrations, with a brief glimpse of belief under Aitor, to where I reside now in the great pantheon of emotion that being a supporter entails - apathy. Results used to dictate my mood for days, now I simply shrug at a defeat and move on or raise an eyebrow at a win and move on. It no longer matters like it used to. I had to forfeit my ST during the Wilder summer due to affordability issues at that time and haven’t been back since and I have to say I don’t miss going. The constant failure to build properly, the repetition of mistakes, some truely comically bad managers (Agnew/Woodgate/Monk), the scattergun approach to club direction has worn me down, just felt more and more like an unfunny joke. A loveless marriage between 2 people too afraid of life alone to leave and end it so the purgatory persisted. Maybe I just got old and jaded. Never thought I’d feel apathetic towards the club that has meant so much to me for 40+ years. There are occasional sparks but the fire is largely out. In many ways I feel sad about where I am now with Boro. In some ways I feel relieved.