Today I was 14 years old again.

T

Trug

Well-known member
I take a lot of tablets and a side effect is excess wind. Today I went into a shop in Guisborough with Mrs T, daughter and grandson. ( He is out of hospital now. Thanks to you all for your best wishes).
I farted. A sneaky quiet one but it reeked. I then stood next to a man for a few seconds before making a swift exit. From the door way I could see the looks people were giving to this poor man. His face was wrinkled up and people were walking away from him fanning the air. I was giggling away like a teenager with my hand over my mouth. Mrs T and daughter knew what had happened and gave me what for.
If that man is on here I am very sorry. But it turned a nearly 70 year old man back into a child again.
I really should go back to the Dr to get the tablets changed but I am having fun. Mrs T has just evicted me so I am sat in the pub (on my own unsurprisingly).
 
Trug said:
I take a lot of tablets and a side effect is excess wind. Today I went into a shop in Guisborough with Mrs T, daughter and grandson. ( He is out of hospital now. Thanks to you all for your best wishes).
I farted. A sneaky quiet one but it reeked. I then stood next to a man for a few seconds before making a swift exit. From the door way I could see the looks people were giving to this poor man. His face was wrinkled up and people were walking away from him fanning the air. I was giggling away like a teenager with my hand over my mouth. Mrs T and daughter knew what had happened and gave me what for.
If that man is on here I am very sorry. But it turned a nearly 70 year old man back into a child again.
I really should go back to the Dr to get the tablets changed but I am having fun. Mrs T has just evicted me so I am sat in the pub (on my own unsurprisingly).
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Very similar, I came out of The Showcase last night and just before getting into the car I farted. No one could see me but the wife was still walking up to the car and a young couple were staring at her as if to say 'You dirty get'.
 
Trug said:
I take a lot of tablets and a side effect is excess wind. Today I went into a shop in Guisborough with Mrs T, daughter and grandson. ( He is out of hospital now. Thanks to you all for your best wishes).
I farted. A sneaky quiet one but it reeked. I then stood next to a man for a few seconds before making a swift exit. From the door way I could see the looks people were giving to this poor man. His face was wrinkled up and people were walking away from him fanning the air. I was giggling away like a teenager with my hand over my mouth. Mrs T and daughter knew what had happened and gave me what for.
If that man is on here I am very sorry. But it turned a nearly 70 year old man back into a child again.
I really should go back to the Dr to get the tablets changed but I am having fun. Mrs T has just evicted me so I am sat in the pub (on my own unsurprisingly).
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SBD = silent but deadly! 🤢
 
I dropped a right stinker in the lift at work one morning last year.

Even in a reasonably sized room it would have been an eye waterer, never mind a small lift.

It was the talk of the office for weeks after. Made people retch in the lift apparently...smelt like something had died in there was another comment....

Must confess I was rather proud of that one...a rare 10/10. But not proud enough to own up. I just agreed with how shocking it was and what disgusting animal would do such a thing... / went along with who they thought it was.

No other person got in or out the lift when I did it. But I did wonder if the next person that got in the lift if stopped at another floor and someone else got in and they had to say "wasn't me!"...
 
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Worked with a lad who dropped his guts on a plane just as it was about to start taxiing before take off. We all stood up to the annoyance of the stewardess , who got a lung full and turned green. He immediately did it again, this time she warned him that he would be ejected from the plane ,if it happened again. She had to move a woman and her baby to the front of the plane out of harms way. He continued on the minibus home ,until he was threatened with being thrown off on the A19.
We got off the bus tog,the moment he left the bus , you could see the green smog rising and those on board clamouring for air.
 
I've got another good fart-related yarn.
I used to play pool for a pub team every Wednesday night.
On one of our away games I was the sober driver so had 5 of us in my car. It was dark, raining and miserable as we set of for the 45km journey back home.
However, one of our guys, Freddie, who was seated in the middle of the back had a fair bit of the seafood chowder the pub we'd been at after eating mussels the night before. let off such a foul beast that we all automatically wound down our windows to let the smell out.
The problem was that the Audi 80 model I owned at the time had a bit of a design fault - if all the windows were wound down at the same time the fuse blew.
We had to spend the whole trip back with all the windows down in pishing down rain. At least the smell from Fred's guffs didn't last as long though and Fred was not allowed in my car again after it cost me money to get it fixed.
 
Was at a chippy in Hither Green last week, lad in front let a cheeky one out so decided to join in. Turned out to be the most horrible thing ever done in public. Smelled like someone baked a dog ****. My mrs literally disowned me
 
At football training last night I was giving an impassioned speech to my U12s about where we went wrong on Sunday and the need for more energy in the press!!

Sadly my Guardiola cosplay was shattered when one of the boys let out a massive fart. What ensued was 12 boys rolling around laughing their heads off. The moment had gone so we just got a ball out and had a match 🤣 🤣

Whatever the age a fart will never not be funny
 
anth25 said:
At football training last night I was giving an impassioned speech to my U12s about where we went wrong on Sunday and the need for more energy in the press!!

Sadly my Guardiola cosplay was shattered when one of the boys let out a massive fart. What ensued was 12 boys rolling around laughing their heads off. The moment had gone so we just got a ball out and had a match 🤣 🤣

Whatever the age a fart will never not be funny
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That is why we love Gary Oldman’s Jackson Lamb character. 😜
 
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