Misogyny means "not liking women" not "liking women".Has to sell pickled eggs and proper pork scratchings, have nice barmaids * and the icing on the cake would be a retro Asteroids game machine. 'Goes without saying on the hand pulled beers side of things.
* Apologies for the misogyny
I would add a football screen but in a room of its own, pleasant quick service, good range of independent beers, ciders and lagers, good quality filter coffee, some booths down one side. Put on special nights, say music night (but not loud), quiz night etc.No not the dodgy Weatherspoons at the end of Deansgate in Manchester, but the fictional pub by Geroge Orwell as outlined in his 1946 essay in which he outlined his perfect pub which included:-
- The architecture and fittings must be uncompromisingly Victorian.
- Games, such as darts, are only played in the public bar "so that in the other bars you can walk about without the worry of flying darts".
- The pub is quiet enough to talk, with the house possessing neither a radio nor a piano.
- The barmaids know the customers by name and take an interest in everyone.
- It sells tobacco and cigarettes, aspirins and stamps, and "is obliging about letting you use the telephone".
- "[...] there is a snack counter where you can get liver-sausage sandwiches, mussels (a speciality of the house), cheese, pickles and [...] large biscuits with caraway seeds [...]."
- "Upstairs, six days a week, you can get a good, solid lunch—for example, a cut off the joint, two vegetables and boiled jam roll—for about three shillings."
- "[...] a creamy sort of draught stout [...], and it goes better in a pewter pot."
- "They are particular about their drinking vessels at "The Moon Under Water" and never, for example, make the mistake of serving a pint of beer in a handleless glass. Apart from glass and pewter mugs, they have some of those pleasant strawberry-pink china ones. [...] but in my opinion beer tastes better out of china."
- "[...] You go through a narrow passage leading out of the saloon, and find yourself in a fairly large garden [...] Many as are the virtues of the Moon Under Water I think that the garden is its best feature, because it allows whole families to go there instead of Mum having to stay at home and mind the baby while Dad goes out alone."
So what would you perfect pub have in it?
For me, real fire, roast potatoes on the bar on a Sunday, and newspapers available for the punters.
It's not the landlady acting independently - it's Humphrey Smith, the authoritarian eccentric who runs the family-owned Sam Smiths. He's notorious for sacking managers who don't follow his instructions. He's like a Jacob Rees Mogg of the pub trade.Jukebox, pool table, darts board, Madri or Peroni on tap and a decent sized beer garden at the rear end of the pub.
Not having these Sam Smith's pubs by the way. Missed my bus the other night after finishing work and had an hour to wait for the next one. Decided to pop into the nearby pub for a couple of pints, to kill a bit of time and was told I had to put my mobile phone away. Apparently the landlady doesn't allow for people to use their phones inside the pub as you have to socialise.
Downed my pint and decided to wait out in the cold instead