Mistress disposal

[Brian Marwood]

Dear FMTTM’rs.

I’m trying to get rid of a mistress but really struggling. Nothing to do with my post code district though.

Any suggestions?

 

[ThePrisoner]

Put her in your black bin? :unsure:

 

[r00fie1]

Ask next door to feed the cat whilst you're away (y)

 

[TheWolfman]

If you search for the old thread on how to get rid of a wasp nest. Same answers may apply.

 

[Boro_Interlinked]

Tell her some of the jokes you get away with on here.

 

[GingerTravel]

I'll book you both a flight, destination of your choice. Then I'll accidentally cancel her ticket for the return. That should work for a few days at least....

 

[Chris_Boro]

Just tell her you have a kink for seagulls. The issue should sort itself out.

 

[newyddion]

Have you introduced her to.. the board?

 

[homesickblues]

I think the council will come and take them for free - Possible for recycling?

 

[AytonMews]

I think the council will come and take them for free - Possible for recycling?

There’s a 2 week wait though. By which time they should have “calmed down”

 

[The Card Cheat]

Just tell her you have a kink for seagulls. The issue should sort itself out.

What if she says "I've been waiting all my life to meet a man like you, and whips two randy gulls out of her overnight bag?"

Sometimes I overthink things.

 

[swordtrombonefish]

If there's no dubious stains or smells about her then a charity shop might be a decent shout?

 

[Ingleby_Flash]

Just pull out.

 

[JonnyHistory]

Be yourself.

 

[TeessideCleveland]

Ask her to take an old mattress to Haverton Hill....

 

[BiggEggo]

Take her to a Boro match. When she nods off, just quietly slip away into the night.

 

[Brian Marwood]

Take her to a Boro match. When she nods off, just quietly slip away into the night.

There has to be a more humane method than this? This is just barbaric.

 

[Merrykoala]

Five grand in used, unmarked notes and I'm sure we can sort something out

 

[Colgates_shaving_foam]

Ask next door to feed the cat whilst you're away (y)

I've not heard it called that before.

 

[Rauko]

Rules ..