Junior football

h_m_boro

h_m_boro

Well-known member
My son has just started to play for an U10 team this season, our first experience of junior football.

It's a new team, a kind of B team to the club's main U10 team......and is frankly awful. Every game this season has ended between 8/15-0.....today they actually scored their first goal of the season in a 15?16?-1 rout.

We kind of got told, as an unwritten rule, all players would get a half. Last two weeks he's got 10mins, played well (he's not a great player and he's not turning pro, easily top half of the talent pool there) and he's come away today a bit despondent. Some of the players get the full game (coaches kids strangely enough.....) most between 20-30 mins.

I'm not expecting anything big from him, just want him to become a better player and a good solid teammate - but he can't as he's not been given a chance.

Coaching is just a kick about. Nothing about the basics of touch-head up-look to pass to your teammates, keep your formation etc. Also cliquey as f*ck which I detest in any form. Players run around loads and boot the ball up the pitch they are better thought of 🤷🏻‍♂️🤷🏻‍♂️

So bit annoyed at the minute. But is this normal at most clubs? I can't really compare it to anything so moving to another club will it all be the same?
 
I see things havent changed since my son played in the TJFA 8 to 10 years go. Half the time its all about the coaches ego we saw new players poached and brought in weekly with no thought to the young kids who where dropped and not wanted anymore and the parents who ferried their kids all over the place on freezing cold winter mornings.
 
Find a better local junior club, with better coaching and with a better ethos. It is difficult and demoralising for kids to get tanked each week. To be honest, it's not great the other way either ... I co-managed/coached a very good young side for 10 years and they would frequently rack up big scores. We went as far as calling time (with agreement from opposition and ref) if it got to 8, and then swapped some kids around for a fun game. It is hard pleasing everyone, but we very definitely made sure that the kids were rotated on and off the pitch throughout matches. Some definitely got more game time ... we only had one keeper for instance .... and a couple of key players (like the captain) played most of the games. Saturday training was a mixture of fitness, ball skill drills, small team pass and move drills in a confined space and other such games. We'd only play a proper game for the last 20 minutes or so of training. The most important thing is prioritising their enjoyment of playing football and removing the pressure to win (they bring that to the table themselves). Building good social bonds within the group .... camping trips/footie golf etc were also an important part of the way we did things. Awards were generally shared around, even though we had two players who went on to play at a decent level. Rewarding hard work and improvement were more key than rewarding ability.
 
See, the tankings don't really bother us. It's a new club, so kind of to be expected. Kids take it well (apart from today the keeper had a full on crying, meltdown hissy fit......the little doyle).

But it's very clear there are favourites, no matter what the ability, and the other parents all seem to be up each others ar*es.

We're the newbies, the outsiders.

All we are looking for is a bit of coaching, improve him as a player and have him understand about positions, roles, responsibilities on the pitch etc. Currently not getting any of that.

There is even a split - most kids have a kit (ours doesn't, he wears a yellow bib every week), and it goes even further with some then having a full training kit with their initials on. Clearly splits/identifies the elite (🙄🙄) players.

Our local clubs are full, so we've had to go further afield unfortunately......so we are a bit stuck. Don't want to pack in as it's his only chance of playing team football......but even he came away today asking why he only got 10 mins the last two weeks.

Frustrating.
 
h_m_boro said:
My son has just started to play for an U10 team this season, our first experience of junior football.
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Have you discussed with the coach/manager what your expectations are? Some teams poach rather than coach and that includes the so called b-teams. What are your sons expectations? If he wants to play regularly then it would be worthwhile finding a team that can offer that. Bear in mind that U10s you might have kids that have been in that team for 3 or 4 years still relatively early doors for the season.
h_m_boro said:
It's a new team, a kind of B team to the club's main U10 team......and is frankly awful. Every game this season has ended between 8/15-0.....today they actually scored their first goal of the season in a 15?16?-1 rout.
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The absolute worst thing about youth football is the parents.. U10s and youth football in general it should never be about the result. Gradual improvement.. these are not premier league players with millions of pounds and peoples jobs on the line.. these are young kids trying to get better at playing football.
h_m_boro said:
We kind of got told, as an unwritten rule, all players would get a half. Last two weeks he's got 10mins, played well (he's not a great player and he's not turning pro, easily top half of the talent pool there) and he's come away today a bit despondent. Some of the players get the full game (coaches kids strangely enough.....) most between 20-30 mins.
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The coaches kids have a tough time of it.. it's never plain sailing.. criticism from their team mates and worse when it comes from parents of other kids. Top half of the talent pool getting 10 minutes as newbie vs 20 minutes. The U10 games are 25minuites each way and then another game after? 7-a-side.. what say 14 kids in the squad?
h_m_boro said:
I'm not expecting anything big from him, just want him to become a better player and a good solid teammate - but he can't as he's not been given a chance.
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Does he play at school? Does he play after school? Sounds like he's fairly new to his new team and part of being a good solid teammate would include having less game time perhaps to start off with. There are plenty of skills academies knocking about that your son might benefit from going to as well as the TJFA side.
h_m_boro said:
Coaching is just a kick about. Nothing about the basics of touch-head up-look to pass to your teammates, keep your formation etc. Also cliquey as f*ck which I detest in any form. Players run around loads and boot the ball up the pitch they are better thought of 🤷🏻‍♂️🤷🏻‍♂️
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Urggh parents again.. they always seem to know a lot more about coaching than the actual manager. I can almost see you screaming from the touchline with instructions to your kid.. lol.. not only does this distract the other kids.. it takes a lot away from your own kid (i'm not saying you do this.. but I bet you do) leaning by mistakes, learning to make decisions.. as you said he is fairly new to this.. as any U10 player would be.
h_m_boro said:
So bit annoyed at the minute. But is this normal at most clubs? I can't really compare it to anything so moving to another club will it all be the same?
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Encourage your son to play.. the results DO NOT MATTER.. encourage your son to be a better player by playing football and enjoying himself. You can always sign him up to THIS as well as giving his first season for his new team a go. Most improved player trophy must a target for him for the end of the season... righ? I would say have a chat with the manager or the coach.. but honestly they get it non stop and I'll bet that they are actually doing the best by your kid.. giving up their free time and being out of pocket for everything they do.

Teams are always looking out for coaches.. maybe you could start your own team and make your lad the star of the show.. see how it works out and see how quickly the penny drops when you have to deal with pushy parents, kids of all skills and temperaments.. managing game time.. and getting very complicated messages over to kids of all levels in a short amount of time in a fun environment. GEN GEN PRESS ANYONE? WERK ARD!! etc etc etc
 
Cheers for that comprehensive critique newy 👍

Unfortunately we are not in Teesside, but I'm definitely going to have a look at if there is anything in our area - bound to be.

As parents we don't shout and coach, just keep reminding him to markup, get goal side etc. Definitely not our style to be "that" type of parent 😁😁

I'm trying to teach him the basics of tackle-win ball - look up - pass to team mate. He's grasped it. Put a lad on his ar*e with a tackle today (son is only small which doesn't help him) looked up and played a lovely ball to a team mate. Proud parent moment👍

I've drummed into him from an early age to enjoy football, embrace it. As a Boro (and Stockport) fan he's had to get used to this. Don't cry if we get beat, it happens, just get on with things and don't dwell on it. Again, it's something he has took on board. So get tanked - doesn't bother him, and to be fair the coaches make sure the result is brushed off.

So yeah, it's just frustration. Definitely not a parent who thinks their kid is the new Messi, but equally can see he's not being given a fair chance.

As for setting up my own team - yeah, if you ever see the episode of Father Ted when he's coaching the over 75s.........😉
 
h_m_boro said:
No, not them. They are full.

Couple of his friends in his class play for them - and they are bloody good players. Above his level.

Club he play for would get absolutely annihilated 30-0 if they played them😁😁
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Fair enough. Wanna give me their initials?
 
h_m_boro said:
My son has just started to play for an U10 team this season, our first experience of junior football.

It's a new team, a kind of B team to the club's main U10 team......and is frankly awful. Every game this season has ended between 8/15-0.....today they actually scored their first goal of the season in a 15?16?-1 rout.

We kind of got told, as an unwritten rule, all players would get a half. Last two weeks he's got 10mins, played well (he's not a great player and he's not turning pro, easily top half of the talent pool there) and he's come away today a bit despondent. Some of the players get the full game (coaches kids strangely enough.....) most between 20-30 mins.

I'm not expecting anything big from him, just want him to become a better player and a good solid teammate - but he can't as he's not been given a chance.

Coaching is just a kick about. Nothing about the basics of touch-head up-look to pass to your teammates, keep your formation etc. Also cliquey as f*ck which I detest in any form. Players run around loads and boot the ball up the pitch they are better thought of 🤷🏻‍♂️🤷🏻‍♂️

So bit annoyed at the minute. But is this normal at most clubs? I can't really compare it to anything so moving to another club will it all be the same?
Click to expand...
Gutted for you HM. I coach within the TJFA and have felt like walking away on a number of occasions due to my despair at some things. Totally agree with all the comments regarding equal time and results not mattering. The problem is some parents do and will walk out on you to join “a winning club” if they think it will help get their kids into academy’s or increased game time (“He’s that good, he should be playing most of the game”).

You then get clubs like Boro Rangers where it is all about winning and will poach players from other clubs to be the team who can boast on Facebook that they won a plastic cup. Pathetic.

Last season in particular one event wound me up. We were approached by parents at the start of Jan (the transfer window) asking if we had space in our team as they wanted to leave their existing club. The reason for leaving is that their current team had entered a tournament between Xmas & New Year and on the day brought along 4 players “on trial“ without telling anyone and proceeded to play the triallists (all players from a sister team from a higher level) and barely play the “weaker members” of the team. This of course infuriated the close-knit group of players and parents, including the ones who were not considered weaker, as they could see this was not on. As well as the lad who eventually came to us, two others left in that month which upset the manager who couldn’t understand what he had done wrong as he just “wanted to win the cup for the kids”. They then unbelievably complained to the TJFA about us (and I subsequently later found out the other teams the 2 others went to) about us poaching even though the players parents had approached us. I couldn’t believe the cheek of it.

The tough part of this is NOTHING will change, especially on Teesside. TJFA know who the main culprits are, yet each year do nothing about it. Parents of good players will always want their kids in winning teams and do not care about long term development. And despite the messages saying there are no league tables the same clubs always create WhatsApp groups for leagues to work out if they have won it and then have banners made with “U9 Champions” etc made up. Infuriatingly TJFA also award these teams with an awards ceremony night (we thought there were no league tables) which just shows it is competitive really.

My advice: Look for a team at your age group that will guarantee equal time for ALL players and focuses on player development over results and offers the most coaching time or opportunities it can.
REMEMBER: Good clubs coach, Bad clubs poach.
 
NortonExile said:
Gutted for you HM. I coach within the TJFA and have felt like walking away on a number of occasions due to my despair at some things. Totally agree with all the comments regarding equal time and results not mattering. The problem is some parents do and will walk out on you to join “a winning club” if they think it will help get their kids into academy’s or increased game time (“He’s that good, he should be playing most of the game”).

You then get clubs like Boro Rangers where it is all about winning and will poach players from other clubs to be the team who can boast on Facebook that they won a plastic cup. Pathetic.

Last season in particular one event wound me up. We were approached by parents at the start of Jan (the transfer window) asking if we had space in our team as they wanted to leave their existing club. The reason for leaving is that their current team had entered a tournament between Xmas & New Year and on the day brought along 4 players “on trial“ without telling anyone and proceeded to play the triallists (all players from a sister team from a higher level) and barely play the “weaker members” of the team. This of course infuriated the close-knit group of players and parents, including the ones who were not considered weaker, as they could see this was not on. As well as the lad who eventually came to us, two others left in that month which upset the manager who couldn’t understand what he had done wrong as he just “wanted to win the cup for the kids”. They then unbelievably complained to the TJFA about us (and I subsequently later found out the other teams the 2 others went to) about us poaching even though the players parents had approached us. I couldn’t believe the cheek of it.

The tough part of this is NOTHING will change, especially on Teesside. TJFA know who the main culprits are, yet each year do nothing about it. Parents of good players will always want their kids in winning teams and do not care about long term development. And despite the messages saying there are no league tables the same clubs always create WhatsApp groups for leagues to work out if they have won it and then have banners made with “U9 Champions” etc made up. Infuriatingly TJFA also award these teams with an awards ceremony night (we thought there were no league tables) which just shows it is competitive really.

My advice: Look for a team at your age group that will guarantee equal time for ALL players and focuses on player development over results and offers the most coaching time or opportunities it can.
REMEMBER: Good clubs coach, Bad clubs poach.
Click to expand...
The club isn't even on this level. Any decent player wouldn't come anywhere near them, they are very, very poor ......but they are a new team so just finding their feet. Absolutely zero pressure to win, so thats good. But then it's kind of gone the other way "15-0, awwww well done, great result, let's have an ar*e about next week, yeah?"

All we want is him to develop as a player to however good he can be. That's it. If he ends up at a club playing in their 3rd/4th string that's fine - as long as he continues to enjoy it.

🤷🏻‍♂️🤷🏻‍♂️
 
h_m_boro said:
Cheers for that comprehensive critique newy 👍

Unfortunately we are not in Teesside, but I'm definitely going to have a look at if there is anything in our area - bound to be.

As parents we don't shout and coach, just keep reminding him to markup, get goal side etc. Definitely not our style to be "that" type of parent 😁😁

I'm trying to teach him the basics of tackle-win ball - look up - pass to team mate. He's grasped it. Put a lad on his ar*e with a tackle today (son is only small which doesn't help him) looked up and played a lovely ball to a team mate. Proud parent moment👍

I've drummed into him from an early age to enjoy football, embrace it. As a Boro (and Stockport) fan he's had to get used to this. Don't cry if we get beat, it happens, just get on with things and don't dwell on it. Again, it's something he has took on board. So get tanked - doesn't bother him, and to be fair the coaches make sure the result is brushed off.

So yeah, it's just frustration. Definitely not a parent who thinks their kid is the new Messi, but equally can see he's not being given a fair chance.

As for setting up my own team - yeah, if you ever see the episode of Father Ted when he's coaching the over 75s.........😉
Click to expand...
Futsal is class by the way.. look out for futsal clubs round your way
 
Stick with it. The boy started at U6 and now still going at U16. He’s played for a few teams. With varying degrees of success. Some of the lads he’s played with, remained friends with are in accedemies. He’s desperate for them to make it as pros.

Nobody enjoys getting a tonking, but teams can ask to move divisions to find a more level game.

I know it sounds nicey nicey but make sure they enjoy it and want to keep playing. There are many coaches out there who (for a fee) will do the weekly training.

Good luck
 
NortonExile said:
Gutted for you HM. I coach within the TJFA and have felt like walking away on a number of occasions due to my despair at some things. Totally agree with all the comments regarding equal time and results not mattering. The problem is some parents do and will walk out on you to join “a winning club” if they think it will help get their kids into academy’s or increased game time (“He’s that good, he should be playing most of the game”).

You then get clubs like Boro Rangers where it is all about winning and will poach players from other clubs to be the team who can boast on Facebook that they won a plastic cup. Pathetic.

Last season in particular one event wound me up. We were approached by parents at the start of Jan (the transfer window) asking if we had space in our team as they wanted to leave their existing club. The reason for leaving is that their current team had entered a tournament between Xmas & New Year and on the day brought along 4 players “on trial“ without telling anyone and proceeded to play the triallists (all players from a sister team from a higher level) and barely play the “weaker members” of the team. This of course infuriated the close-knit group of players and parents, including the ones who were not considered weaker, as they could see this was not on. As well as the lad who eventually came to us, two others left in that month which upset the manager who couldn’t understand what he had done wrong as he just “wanted to win the cup for the kids”. They then unbelievably complained to the TJFA about us (and I subsequently later found out the other teams the 2 others went to) about us poaching even though the players parents had approached us. I couldn’t believe the cheek of it.

The tough part of this is NOTHING will change, especially on Teesside. TJFA know who the main culprits are, yet each year do nothing about it. Parents of good players will always want their kids in winning teams and do not care about long term development. And despite the messages saying there are no league tables the same clubs always create WhatsApp groups for leagues to work out if they have won it and then have banners made with “U9 Champions” etc made up. Infuriatingly TJFA also award these teams with an awards ceremony night (we thought there were no league tables) which just shows it is competitive really.

My advice: Look for a team at your age group that will guarantee equal time for ALL players and focuses on player development over results and offers the most coaching time or opportunities it can.
REMEMBER: Good clubs coach, Bad clubs poach.
Click to expand...
It used to be Marton now it sounds like its Boro rangers.
 
My son has played in the TJFA for 8 years. He’s with a new club this season but has been fortunate to have good coaches at both clubs. Training is technique based and encourage the lads to pass the ball on the deck.

Some of the teams he’s played against have been very good. Others not great. Some parents great but others absolutely shocking. At a game two weeks ago a parent was sent off!
 
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