Dad Jokes - all welcome!

Two old gadgies sat in a bar, arguing.

"I tell you, it's spelt W-O-O-M-M-B-B"
"No you idiot, it's spelt W-H-O-O-O-M"
"W-O-O-M-M-B-B!!!"
"W-H-O-O-O-M!!!"

Barmaid, sick of this comes over and says, "actually gentlemen, it's spelt W-O-M-B".

On bloke says "What are you talking about? I bet you don't even know what a hippopotamus is, let alone heard one fart under water".
 
I just got to work the other day and heard a fantastic noise - it was my boss arriving in a brand new Lamborghini!

As he got out I said 'Wow!! Nice car!'

He said 'Thanks! And you know what? If you work super hard, strive for excellence in everything you do, beat your targets and reach for the stars in all your ambitions... I'll be able to buy another one next year'
 
parmoboy said:
I was waiting outside B&Q and my mate called and asked how big the queue was.

I said “The same size as the B.”
Click to expand...
Got to be careful going there. I went into B&Q and someone in an orange apron walked up to me and asked me if I wanted decking.

Luckily I got the first punch in and that was that, but others may not be so fortunate.
 
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