Black dog on my shoulder

Hard times all around. I've had over 2 years of anxiety, depression and stress, its tried its best to ruin my life, but I'm fighting, always fighting to carry on. Lots to look forward too, even if some things are ****. Wife about to move out, but trying to look long term and find the bright sides of whatever I can find, for example my music, this website, my dreams. F*** that black dog and anyone who is helping it.
Dont take this as a glib comment because its certainly not intended to be but opportunity is about to knock. Life is, in its own way, clearing a path for you to the rest of your life - catharsis is at hand walk in step with it do not resist it let it sweep you up and along.

Linger in this world AET, each day provides the opportunity for your own catalyst to present itself and your own process to begin. Your physical health conditions seem the obvious target to try to resolve first - is there anyone you trust that can help you get the treatment the nhs are obligated to provide you with?

i wish you both well gents, take a victory in each sunset and a triumph in each sunrise
 
No lad, you are not. We value you on here, we worry when you are suffering, the world will always be a better place for you being in it. I remember the pleasure I got from reading about your trip up to watch us play with your P'Boro supporting friend. I genuinely did, it made me smile. Thank you for that. Stay with it, things will get better, you will get better.

If you have the strength take your "stockpiled" meds to the pharmacy and hand them in. Take help where it is offered and keep posting.
I’m glad I made you smile.
 
Glad this board is anonymous as I still feel very ashamed of this.
I have often come close to do dying from depression.
I have literally been at the edge about to jump but didn't.
And I am glad I didn't.
I am so grateful to doctors, family, friends, workmates who kept me safe.
I am also thankful that I followed the medical advice.
If I could go back in time and have a word with myself I would definitely say this.
It's not really you thinking those things it's the sickness trying to hurt you.
And it's not your fault you have that particular sickness.
Just like it wouldn't be your fault if you got cancer or any other illness.
It's just life. It deals different hands to different people.
Even now I still struggle to believe that myself but it really is true.
I'm glad I didn't let it win and if you decide to fight it you will be glad as well.
Three points today wouldn't do us any harm as well mind.
UTB.
 
Glad this board is anonymous as I still feel very ashamed of this.
I have often come close to do dying from depression.
I have literally been at the edge about to jump but didn't.
And I am glad I didn't.
I am so grateful to doctors, family, friends, workmates who kept me safe.
I am also thankful that I followed the medical advice.
If I could go back in time and have a word with myself I would definitely say this.
It's not really you thinking those things it's the sickness trying to hurt you.
And it's not your fault you have that particular sickness.
Just like it wouldn't be your fault if you got cancer or any other illness.
It's just life. It deals different hands to different people.
Even now I still struggle to believe that myself but it really is true.
I'm glad I didn't let it win and if you decide to fight it you will be glad as well.
Three points today wouldn't do us any harm as well mind.
UTB.
Great post but you should feel no shame. Mental illness can get any of us. Glad you came out the other side. There is always hope. UTB!
 
Do you have time to go volunteer for a couple of weeks? I've struggled for a long time and tried meditation and just couldn't do it. I am now 1 week into a working volunteer stay at a buddhist retreat/monastery. It is free food and lodge for 30 hours work. You also get to go to meditation sessions/etc for free. It has worked wonders for me. I just wish I could stay longer.
 
I've learned from my daughter and also a good friend who happens to be a rock music icon for many ... both have the black dog at their shoulder often. When that unfathomable anxiety hit me they said "get to the end of the day .... and then the next ... each day, get to the end". It seemed to work for me. Eventually. Keep getting to the end of the day AET. We cherish you here and your posts about your struggle are valued and helpful for others, no matter how distressing readers may find them.
 
I've learned from my daughter and also a good friend who happens to be a rock music icon for many ... both have the black dog at their shoulder often. When that unfathomable anxiety hit me they said "get to the end of the day .... and then the next ... each day, get to the end". It seemed to work for me. Eventually. Keep getting to the end of the day AET. We cherish you here and your posts about your struggle are valued and helpful for others, no matter how distressing readers may find them.
You are not your diagnosis!
 
I've learned from my daughter and also a good friend who happens to be a rock music icon for many ... both have the black dog at their shoulder often. When that unfathomable anxiety hit me they said "get to the end of the day .... and then the next ... each day, get to the end". It seemed to work for me. Eventually. Keep getting to the end of the day AET. We cherish you here and your posts about your struggle are valued and helpful for others, no matter how distressing readers may find them.
Couldn’t agree more with that.
I’ve had an horrific week but watching today’s match has got me through today and raised my spirits.
Similarly on Wednesday night I watched Hull vs Posh on the red button and Peterborough winning cheered me no end.
No idea what mood I’ll wake up in tomorrow but we’ll see.
UTB
 
Definitely get it checked out. If you keep getting fobbed off, change your doctor/surgery.

For those that are not aware, if you have an under-active thyroid this can cause depression because its not producing enough of the hormone that regulates your body's metabolism. Your GP can do a blood test to check your thyroid levels.

It is easily treatable with medication.
 
Take care AET, we are all with you mate.
Even if posting on here is one of your only therapies, please keep doing it. When I read about issues some of the posters have I do wonder if I have had a lucky life or am I like the majority able to keep plodding on and luckily do not suffer mental anquish that effectively paralyses/.
Like many I have suffered knockbacks, 4 redundancies over the years, the last time a year ago which knocked me as I worked bloody hard in that job, was successful and booted out just like that and for a multi billion $ company paid off with the minimum they could get away with so at 60 seriously wondered what lay ahead and would I work again? happily yes.
Mental issues are not your fault, and for those who want to just blame the Government and say they are not doing enough, sadly with regards to all medical treatments there will never be enough money to go around, although all those years ago when the Gov't decided care in the community was the way to go for many with mental issues how has that contributed to where we are now.
I like to think I am always there for any friend who wants to talk, I can listen. When my marriage failed good friends listened to me, let me cry, didn't judge. I look back now and see how I was a coiled spring with stress due to the relationship I was in, not saying no to others so stretching myself too thin, debt (which is a silent evil) if covid had hit then we would have lost our home for sure
I married again and sadly the daughter of my wife and her partner are basket cases in how they live( **** expression) as far as I am concerned regards their behaviour, she is no better than a functioning alcoholic who is always ready to blame others for her behaviour, he is no better, not a drinker but almost feeds her addiction for control, and possibly gets some perverse pleasure in the issues he helps create. Sadly there are three kids being mentally f**ckd and all my wife and I can do is let the kids know we are there for them, and be a bolt hole and hopefully show them a calmer life.
I have found playing sport (golf) again helps, it's the me time that helps me be happy, great to play with mates happy to play alone, even just using the driving range and having something away from work / the crappy bits of life helps.
Ending it is never ever the way out, it leaves damage behind that often can never be repaired, those thinking everyone else will be better off without me is not true. I have seen the damage suicide does to those left behind questioning themselves and asking why, and did they fail in some way and then carrying it through with them in their lives.

Life can be ****, it can be great, it can be mind numbingly boring but it brings every new day a fresh opportunity and hope, enjoy and celebrate if you can each day. Even if it is something stupidly trivial, if you have family enjoy them. inch by inch, Step by step, day by day.

Good luck and keep posting, this boro fan community will be here for you
 
Some lovely people on this board. To think that they share the same common love as me in any form is incredibly warming in itself.

Keep on fellas. I know how dark it can feel but please every day allow yourself one simple pleasure, that alone is worth keeping on for.
 
For all but @Lemmy especially.

Have a look at Matthew Williams - he's a local man who's had 2 serious bouts of depression and has now wrote a book about his experiences, started a lot of self-help groups/sessions and writes a lot of articles etc around depression and mental health.

One of his earliest posts was specially about 'the black dog' but he covers a LOT of stuff - especially relating to men and mental health.

A really good guy (I know him personally) who is always willing to help - just reach out to him and he'd get in touch for sure.

Website - https://changeyourstory.org.uk
Twitter - @3DMathW
Facebook - Matthew Williams
 
Not sure if it's been mentioned on this thread, but I recently read an article about the wim Hoff method of the cold shower and breathing helping many people with depression or anxeity etc.

Apparently many other benefits too.
 
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