Annoying Business Jargon

Zoophonic

Zoophonic

Well-known member
I sat through my company's online comms just now - basically an update to us all working remotely. The CEO is an Aussie and he came out with the following really irritating jargon classics in his message

"Open the Kimono". - That means - or I think it means - revealing info

"Lots of moving parts"

"Scalable"

"Over the Wall"

and this one

"Boil the Ocean" - which means wasting time.

And he finished by saying lets "knock it out of the park"
 
My pet hate - and Ive read it on here a couple of times - is "Giving 110%" -

Don't know why. Just think it is the fact that it is impossible to do. Like the 8 dart finish.
 
You guys need more blue sky thinking to think out side the box as I’m just spit balling here but let’s get on board and embrace the change and together we can smash this and get back to business as usual.
 
""Boil the Ocean" - which means wasting time. "

It doesn't. As a Management Consultant I'm unfortunately rather familiar with a lot of this language.

It actually means trying to do too much at once, rather than breaking it down into smaller more achievable parts (i.e imagine how long it would take to boil the entire ocean). I was on a conference call once at my parents house, and used that exact phrase - to say my parents took the **** out of me would be an understatement.

My pet hate, and Americans are more guilty of it than others, is the use of the word strategy / strategise. They use it for everything "hey guys lets strategize our shopping trip", "lets come up with a strategy for our lunch hour" etc etc - most of it is purely tactics and certainly not strategic.
 
I have been in risk management most of my working life and can confirm it's 99.45% BS. The big 4 auditors get away with murder with it, they never noticed the Enron was a fantasy £50 billion company , that the RBS balance sheet had only one side, That the French cake shop cannot remember had a bank overdraft bigger than its turnover, Leeman Bros was a basket case ( they could have simply asked Warren Buffet ) I do not need a risk assessment on my hot water tap at home, why do I need one in My office,
 
'socialise that' - means send a 'thought' via e-mail to a group of people. One of my least favourite.

'Low hanging fruit' is obviously the worst of all these.

I actually don't mind 'boil the ocean', prefer it to 'reinvent the wheel' (I know they mean different things).

One particular pet hate is Brits with no interest in baseball using baseball terminology. 'That came from leftfield' or 'They've thrown us a curveball'. Say googly ffs!

Sounds like your Aussie CEO was using baseball terminology with the final one. He should have said 'lets smash it straight over cow corner'.
 
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Cardiffdaffs said:
My pet hate - and Ive read it on here a couple of times - is "Giving 110%" -

Don't know why. Just think it is the fact that it is impossible to do. Like the 8 dart finish.
Click to expand...
Hate to be picky but it’s not. I used to have a job with a contracted 37.5 hour week and no flexi/overtime/hours in lieu.

I sometimes had to work more than the time I was paid for. Thus given it more than 100%
 
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